Finally creating an account on YouTube, here's that
lapdancing video that
Donkey Puncher took.
DP had a poker game over the weekend, with one of his friends getting progressively drunk until he snapped and began raising and going all-in on every hand.
The change was none too subtle, shifting right after a bad beat which wouldn't have been so bad had he connected with any of the flop.
The head-scratching hand of the night was his stone cold bluff with 58o, effectively 8 high on the flop with overcards and a flush draw, neither of which matching either of his cards.
His hand didn't hold up.
Every chance he had, he hurled an insult at one of the guys who left, who had previously announced he was leaving an hour earlier and just so happened to win a big pot off him a few minutes earlier.
He turned to me and went through all the different women he's dated since, well, birth.
He took turns befriending me and calling me an asshole.
He wrote IOUs to DP for $100 at a time. He signed an "X" and DP had the signature witnessed.
We figured he was into the game $400.
This, all on .5/1, by the way.
Suddenly people who were going to leave decided to stay.
Scotch and German beer continued to pour, and the guy ran to the bathroom every other hand (meanwhile screaming out to post for him).
At one point we thought he left for good. He lost one more pot, he was down to $13 for cab fare, and we didn't see him for 10 minutes. Then he returned, borrowing another $100, and continued tilting another half hour.
I don't think I've ever seen such a sustained tilt session before. In Vegas, this is any weekend night, but usually either they start winning and quiet down or their friends come get them and they head off to a strip club or they pass out at the table and are escorted out by security.
DP and others just licked their lips at having a live one. Me, I never do well against luck so I tried to stay out of as many pots as I could against him unless I had the nuts (which in his case would've been Ace high).
I maintained my composure until one of the guys looked at him upon his final return from the bathroom and said,
"What is that big wet stain by your penis, I mean honestly."The
"I mean, honestly" is what got me, and I started cracking up.
We looked at him and the whole front of his pants was indeed wet. I shudder to think what DP's bathroom floor looked like.
And then he left for good.
The last time this happened, they said, he took the bus to the riverboats and continued playing on tilt.
I think it crossed each of our minds to join him.
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