Keg or Burp.com

I'm headed to Vegas next Friday. This is the guys' trip that two years ago we decided to make an annual tradition around March Madness. To accommodate schedules, we're now going the first weekend of March where there's no March Madness but March NASCAR and March Britney Spears.

One of the group is getting married next month (in India!), so we'll be focusing more on bachelor festivities than gaming. Alas, not many of the guys are gamblers and none play poker, so it won't be as poker slots-intensified as last trip. I just hope I don't get sick again that caused my descent into slotland.

One grub family member is already representing in Vegas this weekend, as grubette JetBlued out this afternoon. She even arranged a realtor to pick her up from the airport and drop her at the hotel. Pretty crafty, that grubette! Hopefully she'll give a full report upon her return of terrorizing the touristy Luxor tourneys.

Ever the Scrabble player, she sent me some anagrams of Poker Grub:

• Pug Broker
  
• Bug Porker
  
• Keg or Burp
  

And here're a couple grubette posts from this week (she must really want to play in the next blogger tourney!):


from Tuesday...

No poker for me this week, not til Fri.. I can't wait to go to Vegas!!

The strangest thing happened to me yesterday. I was on my way home and to avoid traffic I went down a side street and was following this huge GMC truck/SUV contraption. She went to parallel park, and in doing so sideswiped a car in back of her. The other car, which was parked, moved under the weight of her huge vehicle. I looked at her, and she was (of course) on the phone and didn't even notice she hit the guy so she parked anyway, right in front of the car she hit.

Trying to be a good samaritan, I looked at her license plate in the rear view mirror, but she didn't have one! So I drove home. On the way though, I was thinking that maybe I should have said something, or left a note on the other guy's car. What would I want someone to do for me? I made it all the way home to my driveway and the Buick was sitting there, with its hazard lights on! How weird is that, no one was home!! The door was locked too, so I took it as an eerie sign "danger! danger! must report the hit and park!" I drove back, wrote down the license, made a note of the time and date and conveniently left off my name and contact info and squished it through the window of the defenseless car.


from Wednesday...

I said I wasn’t going...but I did. I mean, I'm going to Vegas in a couple of days I should be able to wait! I wanted to have a couple hundred extra to bring with me so I got a little (a lot) greedy.

I've actually never played on a Tuesday, so I thought I might see some different people. Nope, same faces, same game. College boy was there playing NL, which I considered. But I'd have to win $100 in $4/8 before that would happen. I sat down at a table where all the players had racks and racks of chips. I won my first hand with a pair of Q’s which put me about $30 up. I should have (weak foreshadowing) left immediately. Five minutes, $30, that’s like $360 an hour!

I move to a different table shortly after because people there were just plain wacko. I'm in the 8s, with 9s being an old guy with cigarette-stained beard hair. He was also dressed in hospital garb, I’m thinking escapee from a local nut joint or orderly. He definitely was no M.D. with those dirty fingernails. Must've been cleaning too many bedpans. Ew. My friend is a nurse and told me she sometimes has to take stool samples and sniff them for possible infection or disease [momentarily pass out at the thought]. 1s was a middle aged guy wearing matching sweats – believe me, not Juicy™ Couture, more like dollah Target “hey the waistband is elastic!” types. And 7s was a financial advisor wearing a cufflinked, button-downed oxford with a sweater over top. Now that’s some style.

Juicy™-wannabe has pocket 4’s when two more 4’s roll out on the flop. Oohs follow. Then I’m in his pot when I have a QJ and the board is KK6K. I’m about to bet (bluff) and he shows me his other K with a wink. I thanked him for saving me money. Another hand or two later I have trips head’s up with him, and he shows me his made straight as I was thinking about betting. Thanked him again. Then we’re heads up yet again, this time at the rag-rag-rag flop, me with AK suited, him with two rags. He checks and smirks, I check the whole way on the rag turn and rag river. He checks behind me and shows me his little pair of rags. Orderly next to me comments on Juicy’s failure to bet when I’m in the pot, “It’s nice to have a pretty face.”

I had a wonderful conversation with Cufflinks guy, who tells me about a NL game he played, he had trip Jacks that he somewhat slow-played. The board was QJTxx, with the Ten on the river. At the river, the only player goes all in $400. Cufflinks has about $500 and thinks for awhile then calls, thinking, he only started with $100 anyway, and the guy probably had AK. He shows his trips, other guy made a pair of Tens on the river. Guess the story isn’t very exciting, but Cufflinks was so razzed telling it, saying it was the biggest pot of his life. And, at LEAST it wasn’t a bad beat story! In fact, the waiting board at HI-G for NL says, “No bad beat stories.”

While he’s telling this story I have nearly made up my loss from Juicy and need $20 more to be even, with 20 minutes until "American Idol." In a matter of minutes, I get trip Jacks on the flop when I’m outdrawn by a straight. I get pocket K’s and lose to a fisher for a baby flush. I get pocket Q’s the very next hand and lose to two pair. I get pocket 3’s the very next hand and lose to a larger pair. And there it is, down $200. And I missed pink-haired girl from Bakersfield sing on "Idol" by the time I got home.

I woke up this morning thinking about those pocket K’s. It wasn’t a particularly big hand, but it was for what was on the board, and I checked the turn (so did the caller) when betting may have gotten him to drop his 5 9 (no pair). I have a spinning class at 6.30 tonight after work, which gives me about 90 minutes to play until those pocket K’s are a faded memory.


from Thursday...

I'm not normally superstitious or really that in touch with supernatural forces, but this week has certainly been strange. Did you watch that final episode of "The Littlest Groom"? One of the bachelorettes saved a fortune cookie fortune that said, "A short stranger will come into your life." Sort of an in-your-face kind of omen, but one nonetheless.

So I had a spinning class at 6.30, off work at 4, so I had about 90 minutes to play. I'm getting off the exit to go to HI-G and the light is green, so I step on it a little to make the light. As I get closer to the guy in front of me and am nearly at the intersection, a Corvette tears through the opposite red light and whacks the guy in front of me in a dramatic plume of smoke. The Corvette is totaled and the other car sails through the intersection and stops. My first thought is not, should I call for help? or is anyone hurt? or even, good thing that wasn't me. The thought was "there goes my luck." My luck was all used up by missing that crash. And I had just been thinking that my car is unsafe because I don't have an airbag. I nearly turned around and went home. But I didn't. And when I got to HI-G, the notoriously crowded parking lot opened up a space for me in front. More luck out the window.

I sat briefly at a table with a bunch of crazy grinders and left, not winning a hand in 10 minutes. Then sat at an equally crazy table (but they had more money) and didn't win a hand in 30 more minutes so I left at the blind. Saw college boy there again, man he really does do this for a living!

And this morning, waking up about 20 minutes late, I went to the kitchen to check the clock with the "real" time (my alarm clock is always set fast) and the clock had stopped. At 1.20am. This is curious because I had just mentioned the previous night, which was rainy and stormy, that because the power went out on me one time I was super late to work, so I always use a battery operated alarm clock. Then today I still get up late and then can't even confirm the time because my battery-operated clock is dead.

Weird.

I hope this is no indication how my Vegas trip this weekend will go.

All added up, the signs are:

• Danger (phantom hazard lights turning on by themselves)
  
• Luck used up (avoiding getting creamed in traffic)
  
• Time has run out (dead clock) = Be careful, you can't be lucky all the time?
  

My poker days are numbered?


Hope not, grubette. G'luck in Vegas!



lunch:
Wendy's mandarin chicken salad
blackberries
plain M&Ms

2 Diet Cokes
Oreo Blast (Oreo milkshake from "Thank you for coming to Loews, sit back and relax, enjoy the show")

dinner:
Wendy's spinach chicken salad

grub: 40 (incl. parking and expensive $9.50 tickets for The Passion of Christ... how can you enjoy popcorn while watching poor Jesus?)
poker: 200

 
It's a babygrub!

grub manor has a new addition! Something I clearly can't afford but something that will (hopefully) pay for itself in the next couple months of poker playing: a new laptop!

Well, my first and only laptop. I'd had my eye on one for awhile and finally plunked down the cash credit arm-and-a-leg for a Dell Inspiron 8600. I added as many features that I think I'd eventually need (was 1GB of memory and a 128MB graphics card really necessary? Have you seen TruePoker's avatars?), though truth to tell, some of them I don't anticipate ever needing (ahem, Bluetooth). But when you're spending that much already, what's another $59?

(A hint for Dell's ever-changing free offers, discounts, rebates, and free shipping: go through their small business section. You'll likely get a better deal. I suspect it all evens out anyway, and the deadlines are just there to get you to buy now.)

I share Boy Genius's enthusiasm for this remarkable machine. After placing the order, it arrived a scant six days later in a convenient unmarked box. The best thing about my apartment complex is they sign for packages (even FedEx), so no traipsing to far-out post offices or worrying someone will steal it from my apartment doorstep like they do my Washington Post three times a week (if you're going to steal it, take the whole thing, don't just take the Weekend section, jeez). The bundle of joy was safe and dry at the front desk when picking it up in the wee hours past midnight that is the grub life.

Out of the box and into the empty space I'd reserved for it on my newly moved table. Plugged, booted, and I was online in seconds, courtesy of my mysterious wireless benefactor. An icon in the lower right blinked and said one or more wireless connections was available. Somewhere in my building is a guy with LinkSys, and I'm able to piggyback happily onto his connection, albeit at a slower speed (1 to 2 Mbps -- perfectly fine for me).

Thinking it was temporary, I immediately loaded up all the poker clients I play, plus the ones that would only run at work -- ChoicePoker and The Gaming Club.

All this took less than an hour, when on dialup it would've taken much more. Heck, with dialup TruePoker itself takes over an hour just to download all those female avatars with double-Ds. With Mr. LinkSys, it was mere minutes.

I don't have a cable modem, much less cable television. There's barely a hookup for it, short of a stumpy gnawed-off cable sticking out of my closet. I have no intention of getting wireless access, at least at this apartment.

But I got the wireless card envisioning myself at a bar drinking beer and playing SnGs just like Boy Genius.

And I confess that I was secretly hoping that someone in my building might already have a connection.

Though I'll load up other applications including Open Office, Sybot S&D, and Ad-Aware that I don't think I'll need (but BG mentioned them, and he's the genius, not I), this laptop is solely for poker. And mainly to be prepared for new poker clients or Party updates (what I was most afraid of, because they're planning some huge updates in the near future) that wouldn't work on my Flintstones desktop. Now with 1920 x 1200 resolution on a 15.4" screen and a magnifying glass to differentiate between a and a , I'm all set to play four tables and get that much closer to the WSOP.

Well, one of those statements is correct.

§
My first game on the laptop was my first game at TruePoker. It does indeed simulate the live experience pretty accurately, so much so that when someone to my left looked at their cards, I couldn't resist craning my head to take a peek.

And like live play, big breasts are distracting.

I'm not sure what to think of the True experience. You can only play one table at a time, chat text pops up in bubbles, it's difficult to read the cards, and hands are pretty slow. True also forces you through the pointless step of converting dollars into chips.

Yep, just like live poker.

I still think we've yet to see a new incarnation of online poker. It should not replicate exactly the live experience but be its own unique entity taking advantage of what online and computers can do. UltimateBet is in the right direction with their mini-View of a table. The online word game Literati is a version of Scrabble but randomizes letters you receive. Nice to see a variation on a classic that can only be played online.

My first True game was a NL ring. Down $50 and then I get a set that I sneakily slowplay. Right when I was about to check-raise the turn, the connection drops! What happened, linksys? I logged back in through dialup but didn't know whether I had won the hand or if it folded me.

And there's the rub. I can't trust this free wireless connection for poker playing, but very well can use it as a backup if I hit the 5-hour mark on my dialup (it disconnects, forcing you to dial in again).

The ironic thing is when the laptop is in the area where the computer table used to be before I moved it last week, the signal is stronger (11 Mbps). The signal seemed stronger still in the hallway. Like a geiger counter, I paced up and down the hall looking at the red and green bars. Mr. LinkSys must be within one or two apartments from me. Further down the hall near the laundry room is someone else's wireless connection called "davisnetworks."

Tomorrow we'll go on a field trip and check out the 9th floor. Or maybe some places around DC.

And silly me, all that talk of HotSpots made me think the wireless service at Starbucks (and Borders et al.) was free for coffee customers. No, they charge $30/month for those locations and many other T-Mobile spots (such as admiral clubs at airports). So I have to pay $30 plus $5 for a chai latte? Grrrr.

§
I played the 2+2 tourney to get more accustomed to True's layout. It's definitely not my preference -- I like a flat layout with names and bankroll values rather than 3D people (and aliens... what a weird mix of characters they have) who talk. I don't even care for pictures people put up like at PokerStars. I'm a pretty basic meat & potatoes online poker player who prefers no distractions or cutsey animations.

Busted out of the tourney fairly early by accidentally calling a raise (I meant to fold, really I did). I tapped the touchpad in order to move the pointer, but it clicked instead. And where it clicked happened to be the "call 400" button.

Then played a Paradise multi and was killed when my preflop all-in KK lost to 45s giving him a straight and me a newfound awe for a Paradise player who would call an all-in with 45s.

And did the test of four tables. I played four SnGs, one in each quadrant. The top half was 30+3s, the bottom half was 10+1s. And mercy, how does anyone play four tables at once? With a touchpad? Gonna have to get a mouse soon. Maybe a Bluetooth cordless mouse/keyboard combo.

I lost three and placed 2nd in the 10+1. One hand in the 30+3 I had 66 and flopped JJ6. I check-raised all-in. AJo called. He wasn't going anywhere, no matter what I did. Turn was a 3. And the river was a 3.

Rats.

I was $200 down. Now that I have laptop power, I installed Yahoo Messenger without fear that the extra memory would crash the computer. I bemoaned to iggy about the tables eating me alive.

What to do but hop in the 5/10 6max games!

Played just two this time. Down $100 on one table before it broke up.

That's okay, just keep with it. Another rebuy and a new table.

Suddenly, I see an unpredictable maniac raising, 3betting, and capping preflop but then checking the flop. And then my other table also begins capping preflop.

It was like Christmas.

My strategy: only the best hands will work here. Even with a stellar pocket pair I'll limp in, hoping to hit the flop. AK was just no good in these games. The maniacs called you down with anything and might even throw in a reraise or two. You just have to play pot odds and not care how many times he wins with a bluff.

Because people noticed the maniacs stayed in with anything and getting lucky on the river, they got a lot of action. And fortunately, the maniacs in both cases were sitting on my left. I just had to check to them knowing they would bet, and I could easily check-raise.

A few check-raises with the nuts caused the maniacs to adjust their own strategy (they may be maniacs, but they know what they're doing). Soon they just checked behind me. This enabled me to play more hands for cheap, knowing I wouldn't get raised.

For the most part, it worked. The maniacs still made off with a huge profit, and so did I. I was down $300, recovered that, and ended the session up $300.

Which goes straight into the laptop payment plan.



lunch:
egg drop soup
chicken with mixed vegetables (no cabbage)
steamed rice
fortune cookie: Now is the time to try something new (could this mean {shudder} 7-card-stud?)
numerous Otis cookies
chocolate cake

3 Diet Cokes

dinner:
the rest of the Chinese food

grub: 2710 (incl. laptop)
poker: 300

 
Sharks in disguise

Sat in on a heads-up freezeout between 2+2er Ulysses and some young punk who had the gall to challenge him.

Ulysses is a darn fine player. Last year I would seek him out to watch him play at the shorthanded tables. Not just because he was good, but because he made the table fun with his patter. He no longer does this, but it's a tactic that I've since adopted on occasion. Particularly when I feel I can get someone to tilt.

What people may not know is that last year, Ulysses (hiding under a screen name) employed a similar gall and bravado attitude in order to lure his opponents into heads-up play, something that U is very good at. He'd make some questionable calls in limit, draw out on an opponent, and the opponent then bristles and challenges U to a match. A classic hustle. The guy would never know what hit him.

Both began with $1000 at a 10/20 table. Half an hour later, Ulysses is down to less than $300 and he looks done for. But another half hour and the amounts have swapped. Ulysses wins. (Well, Party wins because of their outrageous rake... a better match might have been at a play money table -- which Party still rakes -- with the winner transferring the grand into the other's account. But then, that would entail both parties being honest enough to do so.)

In the meantime, I'm watching another 2+2er kill... absolutely kill a NL100 game.

He's been doing this for a few days now. His play is to go all-in on certain hands under certain conditions (BB particularly). Further, he'll announce to the table, "Next hand, I'm going all-in no matter what." And he does. Even if someone raises behind him.

Sure, he lost the first time he did it. But in no-limit, all it takes is one win to put you up. A hundred dollars is a small investment in exchange for advertising your supposed fishy plays where everyone will assuredly hand you subsequent action (some were calling him with a small unsuited Ace).

The freaky thing is, he hits his cards. The past few times I've seen him play, he's won a couple thousand. Watching him last night, he went all-in with The Hammer (he takes particular glee in showing the cards). But he does fold, prompting one player to ask, "If he goes all-in with that, what is he folding?"

(Me, I take the prime seat to his immediate left and easily avoided his all-in challenges. But I lost 10-10 to someone's QQ, TJs (BB) to someone's slowplayed AA when a T fell, and AKs to someone's KK.)

And in an hour, he's gone. He's smart enough to know he'll lose in the long run. So he gets out while he can, with enough profit to live and play again.

Whenever he sits down, the pot average skyrockets for that table.

Good players know what he's doing and adjust. Bad players think he's a bad player.

Like Ulysses, what people don't know is last year, this guy won a seat on the PartyPoker Million III Cruise that sets sail next week. And if memory serves, he won two of them. Party cashed the second one for him at a cool $11,000. You can't be a bad player and win two cruises.

Party may be full of fish, but it's also full of sharks in fish clothing.

The next time you think someone made a bad play and you're better than they are and you'll eventually get all their money, think again.



lunch:
Wendy's mandarin chicken salad
Krackel bars
3 Otis Spunkmeyer chocolate chip cookies
Cheetos
Girl Scout Cookies -- Samoas

2 Diet Cokes
orange juice

dinner:
...

grub: 410 (incl. gas, car insurance)
poker: -100

 
The allure of shorthanded

I had a poker-filled weekend before The Grublog Poker Classic. Unfortunate, because there was work to do and when making a decision between the two and there isn't a girl involved: I choose poker.

Friday and Saturday were all tourneys, all the time. Throwing around money like it was Wendy's roasted almond packs (I hate the things, and they come with every mandarin chicken salad. I now have a collection amassing over 75... seriously. Just wait till Halloween, kiddies!), I played SnGs, two-table tourneys, multis, all a combination of limit and no-limit.

Action rivers and other people's bad calls when I had the best of it slowly had me steaming.

I don't mind when I'm all-in with AA and someone else calls with KK. That's to be expected. Then it's just a flip of the coin. So I can't complain if a King falls, and I don't. I would've done the same all-in call or all-in bet if I had KK or QQ. You can't get away from those premium pairs. That's just how the hand fell. That's poker. (Though if I were really a good player and watching the rocks closer, I should think about folding QQ.)

But what really gets my grub is the people on a draw. And heads-up, with minimal pot odds.

An example from a Paradise SnG: I have AKo. One caller to my raise. The flop is AKx with two s. I raise all-in. The guy thinks and thinks, then types in chat, "You probably have me beat." Pause. "But why not." His call puts him all-in. He has A 9 (thank you, Paradise, for revealing the cards first). He then types "gg." But it ain't over yet. Turn is blank. River gives him a and he doubles up. To his credit, he apologizes profusely in chat. T50 chips are returned to me because he didn't have me covered completely. I couldn't throw them at him, so I threw them at the pot when he wasn't in it. I was 8th out.

But at least I wasn't 4th.

Played a few multis at Paradise, which lately doesn't seem as tough as it used to -- not quite the Party level, but very weak-passive vs. Party's weak-aggressive play. I fought through over a thousand entrants in a $30K multi to get to 120th. 110th and up cashed.

Then a series of five 50+5 SnGs where I placed the dreaded fourth. Only top three cash.

Of all the SnGs, I only placed 1st once and had a scattering of 2nd and 3rds.

I was tilting.

When I tilt, I don't necessarily play worse. I'm still having fun and still enjoying the game. But I play higher than I should.

I added the 100+15 SnG to my repertoire, which I haven't played yet because of the high cost. When I'm tilting, I don't think about money.

I played two...

...at the same time.

Didn't find them too different from the 50+5 games (no crazy all-in'ers on the first hand). But also didn't cash. Out in 5th and 6th.

Down, down, down.

I could no longer access Party because some jilted poker player has been gleefully holding them hostage on the weekends for extended periods of time through Denial of Service attacks.

Their multis are then cancelled and their table games slow to a crawl.

Aside: If some young whippersnapper online poker room were smart, they'd kick Party while they're down and start advertising now. And heavily. Party did that with Paradise and not only took their players but added even more. In the grand scheme of things, 38,000 players is not that huge. How many people have Internet access? How many people gamble? How many people worldwide? Offer a substantial deposit bonus and get those gamblers to the computer. And there you go. The new kid on the block is collecting all of Party's rake, and Party's looking around at their busted servers whose fans are only good for India's heat, saying, "Wha' hoppened?"

I switched to Paradise, wanting to deposit anyway for their 10 percent bonus Sunday. My luck and attitude sour from SnGs, I toss my road-to-the-WSOP-through-SnGs insanity and go with their 3/6 5max.

I could work the bonus off faster and play them like the 5/10 6max tables at Party. And again, the players aren't better, just more passive. They also won't raise on trips if I've raised. Trips!

Only one table this time, concentrating on that with a DVD in the background. I love Rowan Atkinson, but Johnny English is no more than one joke at best. Even the preview was overly long with that one joke. And what a waste of Natalie Imbruglia. Damn PG rating.

$200 is my beginning bankroll, and I'm down to $50 when the movie ends. It's still early. Early Sunday, that is. I pop in The Quiet American and build it back up during Michael Cain's acting lessons. I bring that back past $200 (somewhere between $236 and $286) and CRASH.

Paradise locks up.

Party's still locked up.

I have nowhere to go.

I go to sleep.

On Sunday, Paradise emails my balance at the time of the crash... $136. This was incorrect, as I specifically remember recovering my $200 loss and then some. I neglected to write down the exact amount, never anticipating a problem.

I retrieved my last 100 hand histories and the final one is dated 2004/02/22-01:57:28 (CST). This wasn't when the crash occurred. Too, I recall playing at least an hour past this hand and with different players.

Disturbed, I dashed off an email to Paradise. A few hours later they respond:

After last night's server problem, it appears a small number of players (including you) had their balances off by the total of the last hand. We've added $100 at this time as well as an additional $25 as a service gesture.

We apologize for any inconvenience.

Please let us know if we can be of any further assistance.

Best Regards,

Craig
Paradise Poker Support

This puts me at $261, which I'm happy with. I'm relieved it was handled this quickly and without the runaround I know would've entailed at Party. (Another Party weakness, you entrepreneur poker site operator, you.)

I didn't get credit for the bonus worked off in that hour, but a minor quibble.

§
Further abandoning the SnGs (not hard to do, as Party scrapped all of their tournaments for most of today), I went back to the 5/10 6max.

Bumped heads against an incredibly tricky player. In an hour he went from $70 to $600. And he showed his hands whenever people folded. Many times he had nothing and was betting away into A high or K high. Sometimes he'd reraise/cap and sometimes he'd check-raise... and when everyone folded, he'd show his crap hand.

He certainly tilted other players into calling more and playing more hands than they should.

This screamed a player and a table to avoid.

Me, I saw him as a challenge.

I noticed he bet whenever checked to, so when I finally had a good hand in position, I check-raised him and other people in the hand. The turn came and I check-raised him and the others again.

And then I was killed on the river.

Him showing down his crap but winning hands soon didn't become enough, and he started telling everyone what he had on the flop. He would bet, then type what he had (even if it wasn't a pair). He had fun with it on one hand, saying: "If I didn't play this hand I'd be a j a." On the flop was a Jack. People still called him down, and his JAo took it.

Never once was he lying about what he had. And people still didn't believe him.

Two hours later he busted out and I was up $300.

Then lost it on my second table when a guy won eight pots in a row with some pretty stellar hands. I did a rebuy and told him I wanted to stick around and beat him just once.

I had A K. Lucky raises preflop (he's playing every hand now until his rush ends). I 3bet. The flop is a King with two s. Just me and Lucky. I check, he bets, I raise, he calls. Turn is a 7. I bet, he calls. River is a 7. I bet, he raises, I 3bet, he caps. I call and he shows K7o.

Three hands later of him winning, I leave.

The moral of the story:

1. There's no such thing as luck.
2. Except the people who are lucky.
3. Stay away from those lucky people.



lunch:
Pizza Hut pepperoni, ham, pineapple, mushrooms; mushrooms, tomatoes, green peppers
fries
2 Peeps

2 Diet Cokes
orange juice

dinner:
more pizza (my spinach salad still in the fridge)

grub: 22
poker: ...

 
Hail to the chief!

Congrats to future President Mean Gene for winning The Grublog Poker Classic last night!

His final hand was 10-10 that took out The Fat Guy's Ace-something...

...which I don't recall exactly, because suddenly the tables and all our railbird chat powered down as if Mrs. O'Leary's cow was resurrected from dog urine (that's how Freddy Krueger came back to life... it can happen).

My first thought was: oh no, there'll be disgruntled bloggers by the dozens torching grub manor, demanding refunds and a rematch! (As an aside: why, whenever the villagers go torching after monsters do they always go at night? Monsters live for the night, bumpkins!)

But then I saw the winning hand and Mean Gene's name in lights, and a big smile emerged on my face (and not just because I may have secured a cabinet position on his staff).

In all the online tournaments I've played (even SnGs), the table remains open a bit for congratulations, kudos, and curses to be exchanged. Choice shut everyone out immediately, as if anxious Moneymakers were waiting in the wings to play the next tournament.

How rude. I stuck my head into the 1/2 ring game that was going, hoping some bloggers would pop in, but I only saw props through the tumbleweeds.

Next time, I'll have to arrange a destination for us to post-mortem and decompress. After two hours, it's nice to chat about hands, beats, and whether you can go to Disneyland on $256.

shftleft suggests a poker blogger IRC channel. Visit his site for details.

§
I went into work for the tournament (blame my wooden computer at home), but also because I had some things I needed to finish. Those things were shunned aside as I figured I could work on the leader board in advance and have it ready to post right after the tournament. That's my problem -- anything poker-related definitely hits the forefront.

(This would later come back to haunt me, as after the tourney I stayed at work until 5:30 a.m. ... and had to leave knowing people would begin arriving and spot me unkempt and in my usual poker state of dress -- my underwear.)

To challenge myself further, I'd entered a 150+12 multi that began at the same time as the blogger tourney. Quickly realizing the errors of my clays (as in chips), I opted out and focused my attention where it should be. Which was better: the remote chance of winning a few grand or the remote chance of winning the first blogger tourney? Ah, if you have to ask, you don't read these wonderful poker blogs! $162 could always be made up again at Party. $1000s will always be awaiting to be earned at Party. There was only one shot at bragging rights to the title of our first bloggers' tourney. It wasn't a hard decision. 'Sides, my post-and-fold strategy should have worked enough to get me to cash, right? Uh just checked: nope.

My leader board was set to 25 people, then it bumped to 26 and I had to redo the payout structures. I did so gladly, as it was nice to have more than the top three pay (any number below 26). With some last-minute signups, we were up to 32. This was more than everyone who showed up for Choice's $1000 freeroll last week.

Minus the placement order, I was ready with the leader board as the game began. Closed out everything and opened the four tables. Whoops, could only do three. Tried juggling between the third and fourth table to keep up with the chat and hands for blogging purposes, then realized I was straying from my own play.

Choice began a sprightly pace with turbo eight-minute blinds -- bound and determined to kick us out in two hours so everything could be vacuumed and resprayed with orange freshener. We each started with T1200 chips that quickly diminished as the blinds leapfrogged. Evelyn Ng's "make moves" was solid advice from early on, and while the tables were relatively tight, they weren't overly so.

I was afraid with 32 people the tourney would last three hours, so I was glad about the fast pace.

We were a chatty bunch (much more so than 2+2's tourneys), and two hours just flew by.

This was both grubette's and Doug's (grubette's beau) first time playing an online tournament. Doug later said he had pocket Kings and couldn't figure out how to raise. grubette didn't know how to chat until later on, so she didn't ignore iggy and Felicia on purpose.

Going into the tournament, I didn't pay particular attention to who was in a hand with me. I read everyone's blogs daily and know of their successes, but I hadn't played anyone before and didn't give anyone any more respect than anyone else. Except perhaps hdouble, who I would reraise with 34o.

Though requested a few times, I didn't receive a hand history so this recap is more from memory than exact. I remember more the cards than who I was in the hand with, too.

At my starting table, one person that stuck out as someone to be feared was Love and Casino War, who played a good aggressive game (even before calling Up for Poker's raise of AA with The Hammer -- and winning!). It was tough to put him on a hand, and I made sure to stay out of his way.

Whenever I was in a hand, I had something. I received some good hands early (QQ and a Q55 flop) and was chip leader very briefly.

A tricky play with JJ that I raised preflop. A King flopped and I was bet into. Sensing a small King or a medium pair, I raised. He called. He had 99, and JJ took it.

Another hand I raised AQo. The flop had a Jack and I was bet into. I did think a Jack, but decided to raise to see where I was. He called. If he had reraised I probably would've folded. Luckily, a Queen came on the turn and he folded to my bet. I flashed my cards, and I believed him when he said he had a Jack.

I had 66 that I folded to a shortstack's all-in of AJo. He had one caller and won with Ace high.

Considered calling an UTG's AQo all-in. I had AJo. But I folded. One caller. AJ on the flop/board giving him Aces with Queen kicker, and I would've had two pair. In this situation again without a read on someone, I would fold AJo or even AQo every time. If folded to me, I would raise all-in with AJo (as I did one from the button, which the blinds gave up despite thinking a steal).

If I'd limped in with another hand, I would've flopped a straight.

My final hand was an all-in raise from the button with QTo. I was the shortest stack and the blinds were a-comin'. I was mostly concerned about getting the BB (Mean Gene) out. But the SB and chip leader (The Fat Guy) paused and then called. When an Ace fell I knew I was toast. But he flips over KK and I was toast plus bacon even before the flop.

Out in 5th and I joined the railbirds.

Anisotropy put up a heck of a fight, but next to go was Poker Code with Ani following.

That left TFG and Mean Gene. And through the rail almost unanimously chanting for T-F-G, T-F-G, Gene managed to pull it off.

Way to go, Gene!

Reading through some of the other bloggers' accounts (if we pulled them all together in one big blog, we'd have our hand history), many criticize ChoicePoker quite unfairly. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have had a tournament. The other sites I contacted turned us down or were unresponsive. When I approached Choice, they were immediately positive and willing.

And at least Choice didn't slow down or crash, as Denial of Service attacks have recently been crippling Party (for hours all Saturday night/Sunday morning) and possibly Paradise (some of Sunday morning) and UltimateBet (Sunday) for extended periods of time. When a crash happens, the tournament is over; there's no returning to where it last left off. Over the weekend, Party and Paradise had to refund many an angry player their standard amount, whether chip lead or not at the time of the crash.

So three cheers to Choice for hosting. And to OldVegasChips.com, PokerSchoolOnline.com, and The Gambler's Bookshop for adding on terrific prizes on top of the cash.

And to all y'all bloggers! Thanks for playing a great game, and can't wait for the next one at iggy's pad on March 10!



lunch:
Wendy's grilled chicken sandwich (new chicken sandwiches coming soon!)
biggie fries
Girl Scout Cookies -- Thin Mints
Twix bar
Nestle Toll House Candy Bars

4 Diet Cokes
Kirin beer

dinner:
(was to be a Wendy's spinach chicken salad but into the fridge it went as a friend sidetracked me and headed for sushi)
sweet shrimp
spicy tuna handroll
Japanese vegetarian lasagna roll

grub: 55 (good God is this place expensive! I picked up the tab because I found out it's my friend's birthday this weekend... poker paid for this... er... will pay for this!)
poker: 100

 
The results...

 
Countdown... 2 more days until...


The day of reckoning is almost upon us. Who will win the inaugural poker blog tourney on Sunday, Feb. 22 at 9 p.m. ET?

There's still time to enter; in fact, you can register as late as one minute before the tourney begins. But be sure to first sign up by emailing me your info and I'll send you the password.

And if you want to watch, just download the software and sign up with an account (you'll need an account to observe a table). Our tournament can be found under the multi-table tab.

Our mystery guest is the gentleman who originated the term Hammer and the inspiration for The Hammer Challenges. Once upon a time, he played 72o and won with it in a Northern Virginia home game. His name is Hammer, and ever since then 72o was dubbed The Hammer. Therefore, there's a bounty on him! If you knock The Hammer out of the tournament with The Hammer, you'll get $250 -- the full amount of one of The Hammer Challenges.

Last-minute word is he may not be able to attend after all. I'll keep you posted.

§
I rushed home last night to make it in time for the 2+2 tourney at PokerStars. When I booted my computer, the monitor display was all wavy lines and repetition. I have a 17" monitor and knew from past experience that it couldn't go past 1024 resolution. Well, I knew it could but the left edge of the screen would be cut off, even if I adjusted the right position button.

The previous night I'd decided to try again. I bumped it up to 1280 (the max on this monitor) and the left edge was still cut off. I played a few tables, moving them away from that left edge, the machine crashed, and I didn't turn it on again until just before 9 p.m. last night.

And then horrors! When I booted the machine and it went to Windows, all I could see was wavy lines and multiple images. I remained patient hearing the ever-louder ticking clock, and somehow I managed to blindly maneuver the mouse to the Control Panel and downgraded the resolution back to the happy 1024 -- all in time for the 2+2 tourney.

No more resolution experiments!

Eleventh place and up cashed, and I fared a respectable 16th out of 62 of the tightest tables and best players you'll ever find (at least until our own Grublog Poker Classic). As soon as someone was knocked out, someone would pipe up with "that guy won $20K in Connecticut" or somesuch. Made me feel a tad better outlasting these experts, many of whom used different aliases on Stars than on 2+2.

I did get lucky early on -- I raised with AK. I'm called with A6. The flop is A6o. I bet, and A6 raises all-in. I think and think, enlisting the 60-second time clock. Then decide, what the heck, and call. Lucky me gets a K on the turn, and I double up. My luck didn't hold out -- whenever I tried to steal the blinds (even from an early position), I was reraised.

Watched an extremely bad call from someone who busted out before I did. He had 88 and stayed till the river. The guy betting into him had A8. The flop had an Ace. Which meant the 88 guy could only win with a one-outer. And of course, that 8 comes on the river. Gotta love it.

Every time I play on PokerStars, I contact a friend and we play together. I was out early in a multi when an ultra-aggressive guy was raising and taking down every pot. This time I go all-in with 88 (risky, yes). He types in chat, "Hmm... to call?" and calls. Unlucky me, he had AA -- probably the one time he had a hand and I had to go heads-up. However, I'd much rather go out early than on the bubble.

We then played an 18-person 20+2 tourney. He went out on his table. I made it to the top 4, only to go all-in on a button bluff (3 6 if you must know). KJo who had been folding the whole time, calls me. A 6 flops and I'm hoping... but then a Jack rivers and I'm out. Happy to cash $36, but a whole lotta time (almost 90 minutes) for a whole lotta nothing.

I then played a $10+.50 heads-up tourney with my friend and won. After a good 20-minute battle, I had AQo, he had 69s. The flop has a Jack high. I bet, he goes all-in. I pause and then call. I knew he was bluffing!

I do feel my heads-up play is getting better. Play long enough, and you get a feel for how the other person plays. Unfortunately, with the SnGs (those would be the games I haven't been doing very well in lately) when you get heads-up it's only for a few hands. There isn't normally a prolonged heads-up session with time enough to be able to adjust to their play.

Found out he's now mostly playing on Party (smart man) and has been cleaning up under a girl's name. He does the limit games on Party and tournaments on Stars. Probably a good way to go, as Stars has the best run tourneys around. You do get better players, though, so pick your poison.

Dragged another friend into setting up a Stars account (made attractive by these heads-up tourneys). We played three -- I won two and he won one.

My overall for last night after playing 5 hours: $-6. Not bad if you're seeking an evening's entertainment.

§
Another grubette post (two in a row!) from Monday:

So our goal was win/lose 100. I left my ATM in the car. I contemplated the NL table, where I saw that 21-year-old college boy grinding it out.. not his boisterous self this time, so I suppose he was losing. The table wasn't all that animated so I stepped back and put my name on the very short list of $3/6 because the list for $4/8 was far too long.

I hate playing $3/6, so after waiting for 5 minutes I figured I may as well play my usual game and tried to add my name to the board for $4/8. There were at least 15 people on the board, the next being "NG". The board caller looked at me and said, "NG, you're seat is available." I said I wasn't NG, but he gave me a quick wink and told me to get my locked up seat. Guess he wanted a tip. I only had a hundred, sorry.

I get to the very somber table, and everyone is asian, which is a bad sign (because these guys do this for a living). I was at 1s, and 2s raised every pre-flop. Normally you like these kinds of players, but not with my limited funds. Plus, he was making me annoyed. I finally got AT diamonds after 5-6 hands of not playing anything and called the blind. 2s raised me per usual and everyone called. The flop had an Ace, but I just checked because I knew 2s would raise. He bet, I called. Nothing on the turn or river, but he kept betting. It was head's up at the river, where he bet, and I called with my wimpy Aces. And he just folded! Didn't even want to see what I had. He said he was trying to burn through his chips because they were unlucky. I told the dealer I was out, gave her $2 and stacked my $37 and left. The table groaned, but I didn't want to play with maniacs. And this was the best way to ensure he didn't get his money back from me at least.

I did end up going to $3/6, hoping for a friendlier crowd. The crowd was very friendly and a couple of old guys, who I like to play with. I won the first two hands and now needed about $40 more to reach my goal. I started getting nervous though because when I win, I start to get ultra conservative. Doug happened to be playing at the table next to me, and I saw he was up a rack so I went over to check on him. Would you believe, he was up $99? He said he needed to win $1 before we could go. Oh come on! I was ready to go whenever he said the word. Being up a little is better than being down a little (or a lot). He went down, way down, then back up, and finally left the full table at +131. The table was so irritated, it broke up about 10 minutes later. Of course, I was down by then, having lost my winnings and $20 of my own. So he'd just have to wait til I won it back.

Second Corona, and losing $, I start to play loosely now, which I know is my downfall. There was only one guy calling everything, raising everything, with 23o or T6o. But he was lucky. So I get KQ diamonds right after the BB. I just call, but it's re-raised and I call that. The flop is QT2, no diamonds. Check to me, and I bet. I'm raised, I re-raise. Turn's a 6. Round of betting. C'mon Queen! River's a 7. I bet, am raised, I call. One guy has pocket Ks, okay, but the winner, has T7o and wins with 2 pair. I get up from the table, not even wanting to give the rest of my money to these guys, net -71.

I blame Doug, because I was ready to go when he had +99 and I had +57.

Howard was there too, leaving work early to play because his wife worked til midnight. Doug called him but he had already been there and left within an hour, after winning $53. His goal was +50. At least we were only there an hour and a half, Doug bought me dinner, and we made it home in time for "The Littlest Groom" which is oddly difficult to watch.

Should've played NL.




Wednesday...

lunch:
Wendy's mandarin chicken salad

3 Diet Cokes
margarita
cabernet sauvignon

dinner (this was my steak dinner won from a bet a couple months ago. I chose The Palm, which I thought was upscale but seemed like a low-rent steakhouse with caricatures of local (and living) DC political figures on the walls and coatcheck girl picking her nose. The steak was excellent, though)
French bread
raisin bread
baguette
lobster bisque
garlic mashed potatoes
18 oz. filet mignon (medium rare)

grub: 8
poker: -107
WSOP/hours: -31/9



Thursday...

lunch:
Wendy's spinach chicken salad (new!)
Chips Ahoy cookies
Oreos
chocolate coconut cake and chocolate-covered strawberries

4 Diet Cokes
orange juice

dinner:
Healthy Choice blackened chicken

grub: 7
poker: -6
WSOP/hours: -37/14



today...

lunch:
egg drop soup
chicken with mixed vegetables
fortune cookie: You will have no problems in your home... just your monitor

2 Diet Cokes

dinner:
...

grub: ...
poker: ...
WSOP/hours: ...

 
Behind the affiliates + grubette's first NL sugar daddy

When you download and sign up to a poker site via a link or a signup code, that affiliate is usually getting something based on your deposit, play, or whatnot. I highly encourage doing this, because it's to the benefit of the blogger (let's say) you read and love who provided the link, and it doesn't cost you anything now or ever will in the future. It's a nice way of paying it forward for all the hard work they do and in fact, can even help you with various bonus offers (an extra percentage atop your initial deposit). I have a list of links with various signup bonuses, but you can also sign up through other bloggers who are also affiliates. Like iggy or hdouble who bust their humps day in, day out to provide quality, thoughtful, entertaining writing and linkups. The hours it takes to read through all the wonderful blogs... think how many more hours it takes to research, collect those links, and write 'em up coherently in the first place.

The point is: if you're planning to sign up to a site anyway, sign up through an affiliate.

(This is also the case with other links that may be on the site, whether it be books, CDs, etc. -- if you're going to buy, buy through them... you would pay the same amount anyway, and the affiliate gets a few pennies and is that much more encouraged to carry on blogging.)

My big regret is signing on to Party and their skins (Empire, Intertops, Multipoker, Eurobet) -- or really any online poker room -- without using an affiliate. If I were under an affiliate, at least that person would be getting something (usually a percentage of my rake) every time I play. Now, all of that rake is collected by the big nasty conglomerate cardroom. And with the volume I play collectively on Party & skins, it's quite a significant number that outweighs their measly $50 comeback and redeposit bonuses. Does Party really need more money? Well, their servers keep crashing so I guess they do.

When I was looking around for places for The Grublog Poker Classic, ChoicePoker was amenable and agreed to host. They struck me as very personable and open to ideas about the tournament as well as their site. I signed up as an affiliate and decided any money I received from people signing through me would go back into the tournament in the form of extra prizes (and hopefully cash).

Some stats so far:

22 people signed up through me (on their own or for the tourney, of which 17 are registered)
5 people played cash games
1 person (not including me) played over 300 raked hands

As I understand, to qualify for the referral bonus of $30, each referral must deposit a minimum of $50 and play a minimum of 300 raked hands within 30 days of depositing.

Assuming that the one person who played over 300 raked hands made a deposit of $50, I should have $30 coming to throw back into the prize pool (already done).

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like we'll qualify for Choice's competition of winning with most referrals (first place is $2000 -- wouldn't that have been a great add-on) because Choice defines referrals as qualified referrals, and hence, 300 raked hands per person and a $50 initial deposit.

Which I cry foul, because it's awfully difficult to play on their site when hardly anyone is there for us to play against. Several times I've logged on to see no one playing. If the pace stays the same, I don't see how anyone could qualify for, much less win this competition.

But ah well. We still have some great prizes offered from some great sponsors who were willing to support our tournament without any history behind us. I only queried companies I know and liked, and I'm happy they came through. Visit their stores and buy their products -- not only are they worthwhile, but they thought well enough of our tourney to toss in a thing or two to make the prize pool more than just about the cash... it's about the chips (ha). (And our latest is a t-shirt offer from Love and Casino War to the first person to win with The Hammer! Thanks, LCW!)

The blog tourneys will only get bigger from here.

§
In a bid to play with us in the tournament, grubette provides a fun report from this past Friday at Hawaiian Gardens (a week after she, hdouble, and I played), along with her first no-limit ring game:

Yep, it was nice hanging out with grubby in the Hawaiian Garden's poker room. But that weekend I drank too much, played poker too much and saw more acrobats than I usually do in LA. At the NL tourney grubby and I played, I met Joe, a 73-year-old widower who was giving me pointers about how to read people. He was in the 3s when he called all the way head's up to the 10s with a King high. When the cards were revealed, the 10s had 6 high! Crazy stuff. Joe says poker books are for kids, and the only real way to play is through experience.. lots of it. I got a strange but correct feeling that Joe was hitting on me, while he would say, "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!" he'd then creepily say, "Who do you live with?" and "I'm looking to remarry." But, he was loaded up with compliments for me and my play, so Joe, you can be my poker sugar daddy!

This week at work was so dull. So Friday is rolling around, the only night tournament that HI-G hosts, so I was looking forward to it. I get off work at 4, so I get over there and bought my ticket and then started playing live until the tournament started at 6.30. I pick my usual $4/8 game, but everyone was staying in on everything, and I didn't have time to fish (though I'm not above it occasionally to mix it up). So, down $40 in a mere 15 minutes, I hear the announcer call, "New No-Limit game $100 buy-in. Make your move!" I can't resist and go over there. I'm hesitant to sit down though, because the players look like they get their paychecks in poker chips. But as Joe says, I can't read people, so what the hell. NL there has a very unusual set up, or one I haven't seen. I guess the host of the table is employed by the casino, but he also plays and gives out chips. So, he's writing down your name to establish seniority at the table, playing with his own chips, has stacks of chips to give out change and calling people from the board when a new seat opens. Plus, everyone knows him at the table and calls him by name. I find it's always good to remember the host's name and call him that, preferably when a new player sits down so they think you're a professional. But this is my first time at a NL live game, and I was caught by another player who said, "Oh, I haven't seen you in a looong, loooong time," (good so far) "don't you normally play $4/8?" Gulp. 1s with too many gold teeth immediately starts flirting with me, "You are my girlfriend, sit next to meeee!"

$100 max buy-in and $2/3 blinds, so I felt this would be a slow game, at least slow enough for the hour I needed before the tournament started. And I was right, most people folded. Early on, I get AQo and raise to $15 right after the BB. Everyone folds. Hmm.. I think I made $2, because of the rake, which is taken out every hand. Then a few hands later, I pick up AA in middle position again. I just call the BB this time, Asian Mafia guy bets $10 more, followed by another $10 caller. The blinds fold, and it's up to me. I hesitate, then my heart starts beating loudly, deafeningly so. I peep, 'I'm all-in" and shove my chips to the middle. Damn I've never done this live before- it's so exhilarating. I expected to pick up the $31 pot pre-flop, but Asian Mafia guy tells the dealer to count my chips. It was $97. He has about the same amount. He calls. The other caller thinks. Calls time. Looks at me (he was the one that hadn't seen me in a long time). Stares me down, with a smile though, "What you got?" as my fingers go numb since the blood is rushing out of them to my feverishly beating heart. He folds.

Asian Mafia guy confidently turns up his cards. AKo! I flip up my AA and there's a collective, "oooh" at the table. They know I won. Me however, I didn't know this yet. The flop is rag-rag-rag, turn rag, river rag. Not a single face card, and I had it all the way. The dealer gives me all the chips and like $6 back to the caller. No "nice hand" from him. He re-buys.

What a rush. I could get hooked on this NL stuff.

But, not too much later, I get JJ and call a $45 raise and lose. Oh well, win some, lose some, I need to place in the tourney, which pays to 27 spots.

I go to the tournament after seeing Joe again, getting up from the live NL and wishing me luck. The tourney has already started, and I'm nearly 40 minutes late (I do this on purpose to avoid getting tempted into re-buying). I see an unbelievable pot, where 2s and 10s are battling it out. The board is AJJ32 and tons of money in the pot. 10s slams down pocket Aces for the boat, and 2s turns over his monster, pocket Js. Had this had been a live game, it was bonus time $25000 with a $700 or so table share. Gosh darn it.

I was chip leader at my table for awhile, sitting in between 2 new tournament players, one a woman. The other guy clung to his single T500 chip for 30 minutes, then finally lost it. Woman was out, then I was out, in 50th place.

I go back to NL live. There are three guys there that know each other, and all are 21! Good lord! One guy is exceptionally boisterous and talkative so I say, "What the hell do you do for a living that allows you to play with this kind of money?" and he calmly says, "I play poker for a living. And go to Golden West College." I saw him take down a great pot on the flop, KT4. He bets small, caller bets $150, college boy raises $400 all-in, then gets up from the table! Caller's thinking for an eon. And folds it. College boy's friends try to guess what he had. I said KT, his friends said pocket 4's. College boy was mum.. he probably had Ks.

Doug's still playing and losing at $3/6 when two of our friends arrive looking for some 13 card poker action. They settle for Pai Gow (Hawaiian Gardens is more than just Hold 'em, it's a way of life). In fact, one of them calls Doug on his cell phone to leave a message, but then forgets to turn off his phone. I picked up the 10 minute long voicemail that details him playing Pai Gow, saying "YES!" and "You got it!" with the "TZ for $4/8 hold'em!" announcer in the background.

I go check on Doug and saying I'm playing NL and he says ok and I leave. Then a minute later he calls me and says when I left, this woman at his table told him (about me), "That woman wants you bad, couldn't you tell??" She was 21. Doug asked why she had her name on her shirt, "Glenn." She said, "It says GUESS!" and he proceeded to call her Glenn the rest of the night. After her flirting with him (and probably him flirting with her too) she gets up to go play Pai Gow and whispers to him, "I'll be over on the side playing Pai Gow." Harlot.

Right after midnight Doug calls me to wish me a Happy Valentine's day. I hear his table in the background giving him a hard time and groaning. Then I hang up and Gold Teeth guy from earlier comes over and wishes me a Happy Valentine's day, "I am so glad that I am the FIRST one to wish you a Happy Valentine's day." I told him he was the second, and he said, "Then I am the SECOND. Where are we going for dinner on Valentine's day?" The Joe comes over and brushes him away telling me that guy's no good for me, that he's a player (as if I didn't know). Good ol' sugar daddy, already looking out for me!

The "Wheel of Cards" winner is called, which means it's 2am. Gotta get out of there! With Doug and I both down more than the ATM usually allows, we go check on our friends playing Pai Gow. This is not your Vegas momma's Pai Gow and I don't really get it. You can play on anyone else's hand, so Doug and I, in a last ditch effort to win on some game, put $100 each on top of our friend's $100 wager. He gets a pair of Js behind, and KT for the top, a marginal hand, a push hand maybe in Pai Gow. The dealer, who is really a player, not the house, gets a pair of 7s and K9! Won $300 just like that. All four of us jump ship, happy to leave on a good note at last.




breakfast:
McDonald's steak and egg and cheese bagel

lunch:
Chips Ahoy cookies
rice crackers
fries
Breyer's peach ice cream

4 Diet Cokes
orange juice

dinner:
garden salad with grilled chicken

grub: 35
poker: -68... 1@10+1 (1st), 4@30+3 (big fat zero -- JJ vs. 99 (9 flopped); AA vs. A8 (88 board)), 5@50+5 (two 2nds),
WSOP/hours: 76/5

 
200 hours to the WSOP

hdouble emailed an interesting challenge (well, I took it as a challenge):

Anyway, I came up with about 120 wins in the 90 days to the WSOP. Doable? Not for this poker player, but I suppose if you had 3 hours a day, you might be able to do it.

Some quick grub calculations...

The WSOP begins May 22. That gives 90 days plus change. Or, playing SnGs for 2.22 hours a day, approximately 200 hours (to make it a nice round number). You would need to win at least $60 per hour or $120 per day to reach the goal of the $10K seat plus airfare, Wendy's food, and a cheap downtown hotel for 7 days and 7 nights.

If I ignored all the other horrid losses this past week and tallied just the SnGs I played yesterday (five 30+3 SnGs in almost three hours), I had a ROI of $135.

This is about average for me. Where I lose the most (financially as well as in confidence) is the shorthanded games. If I stick with only SnGs for the next 90 days...

Sounds like a good challenge to me! I responded that I thought it was absolutely doable.

HD's point was that you have a much better +EV of grinding it out in the SnGs the next few months to buy yer own damn seat into the WSOP over winning one in a multi. He's probably correct, but on the other hand, if you won a seat you'd have no choice but to go. If you won over $10K, you'd have some hard decisions blowing it all on a poker entry fee vs. paying child support for the kid you barely know who hates you and is still not potty trained.

Or for me, versus buying a laptop. Which I want really really really badly. Because I want to be like Boy Genius and go wireless, playing online poker and impressing girls at the local dive.

So let's shoot for the moon and the bracelet, shall we? Win $10K in 90 days while also playing multis to win a WSOP seat. Then I can take the seat and blow $10K in craps.

Deal? Join me, why don't you. My bankroll is only $200. Let's start... now!

§
I love my new computer setup! I can't believe it took 12 years to come to my senses. Then again, I haven't been playing online poker for 12 years.

I got home in time to catch the last half hour of "Average Joe II." I haven't been following this one as much as the first, but from the bombardment of radio ads, tonight was the fatsuit episode. Like the first season, she dons a disguise (without bothering to affect her voice 'cause honey, that annoying warble is a dead giveaway) and laments how hard it is going through five minutes of life with people looking at her and not giving her directions to the movie theater because she's fat. Poor thing.

She then pretended to be her mother and interviewed the Average Joes, most of whom she chose based on looks and by them not being fat in the first place. Of course the Joes were taped saying dirty things behind her back (hello, it's a reality show with cameras everywhere, you should know what you say can and will be used against you) and the footage was produced to her to watch with nailbiting glee. Guys being guys, they naturally made comments about her mother. She got upset, and promptly booted the worst of the insultees off the island.

"Average Joe I" was more interesting, perhaps because I liked the guys and the girl more. She had more depth and eloquence and genuinely seemed to start falling for some of the Joes. This one is more aloof and a-model (I think she represented her state in a beauty pageant against fur), and it's hard to well up any solid tears for her. That's clearly based on seeing just the first episode, so I'm not in the least biased.

But watching the last half hour let me play two 30+3 SnGs from the comfort of my computer-that-faces-the-TV.

I placed 3rd and 1st for a $144 return. Heck, I'll pack my bags to the WSOP right now!



lunch:
McDonald's bacon ranch salad
fries
fruit 'n' yogurt parfait
Tostitos blue organic chips

3 Diet cokes
Coke

dinner:
rice crackers
Dove chocolates
butter cookies

grub: 8
poker: 144
WSOP/hours: 144/1

 
Reorganizing grub manor

UltimateBet had a last-minute 25 percent bonus through Neteller (and is still good through Monday evening). Like a little bonus lamb I put in another $400 to get $100 to lose $150. When will I learn?

Saturday night I played ChoicePoker's $1K freeroll tournament. As expected, many didn't show up because of Valentine's Day (and perhaps many simply didn't know they were automatically signed up from having played 50 hands earlier that week). Unlike other sites that allow you to post-and-fold until you show up or until you're blinded out, Choice boots everyone who isn't logged in by a certain time (which seemed to be 10 minutes into the tourney). So out of 147, only 30 people were playing. And 1st through 20th place cashed (1st place won $300).

I wanted to play this tourney in preparation for The Grublog Poker Classic next Sunday (sign up if you haven't already!). It seems as if they start everyone with T1200 chips. I noticed my computer slowing way down when having another Choice window open simultaneously.

And this was at work, too. I went into work because my home machine is too antiquated to even load the software. What I like so much about Party (in addition to the bad players and the big cartoony Muppet colors) is that two or three tables open are no problem. Barring their own server problems and disconnects, I've never experienced the memory problems that I have with Choice or Paradise.

I busted out in 7th for $30. The Daily Grind also made it into the money.

I then hopped to Paradise, where they have a nightly 9 p.m. $30K guaranteed multi for a $30 buy-in. I think this was the only night they lost money, getting 922 people to enter and eating $2340. This was what I'd anticipated for V-Day, and you know how I love the tournaments with extra cash where the poker room foots the bill.

Did well until I get A K. I'm medium stacked and there are just over 100 people that need to be eliminated before cashing. Someone in early position bets, a shortstack raises all-in, that all-in is raised, and it's to me. If I called, it would take me all-in. The pot was huge. What would you do?

If I had AQ, it would be an easier decision. JJ and below would be an easier decision. With that many people in the pot, surely the Aces and Kings were used up and someone with a pocket pair would end up taking it down.

Well, no guts no glory, and I called. The original bettor folded. Shortstack had KK and the raiser had AA. I was out in 200th or so.

I need to remember that this isn't Party. Players are better at Paradise and wouldn't go all-in on just a stone cold bluff. But so hard to lay down AKs.

Then played some 3/6 5max at Paradise before leaving in defeat $-120.

Switched to Empire, made a deposit (yep, I'm down to the felt), and was killed at 5/10 6max. Again. Some utterly amazing rivers. And too many 4flushes on the board. Then went to 1/2 6max and witnessed even worse play (expectedly) and even more incredible cards that people would stay with and win with. Is this Earth-2? The Bizarro World? What the heck is going on?

Made back some of my loss playing $10+1 SnGs, all of which I placed in the money or 4th. A little confidence booster (except for 4th, that is).

Empire was starting up their Sunday $50K game qualifier for $18+2, so I signed up. 49 players, top five won a seat in the big game (worth $150+12).

I did fairly well throughout, and I may prefer these limit tourneys to no-limit. It takes longer and people don't bust out early, but you also can't lose everything in one fell swoop.

Midway into it, I'm chip leader with T4400. That went down to T2700 when I raised preflop with K Q. A shortstack called. The rainbow flop gave a King. I bet, the shortstack raised. I reraised, he threw in the rest of his chips. I called. He had K 4. One on the flop. None on the turn. But a 4 on the river.

I gladly watched him make similar plays, only to complain to others that he was rivered.

At the final table I was in bad shape. But I got some decent cards that held up three times in a roll, and suddenly I was chip leader. I kept up the aggression, then realized I could back off and just fold into 5th place -- which is what we were going for.

Once sixth was knocked out, we all won seats. Damn but did this win feel good, even though my losses were equivalent to buying into the tourney at full price (and I could've saved all that time). After we were sure there were five of us left, it was a raisefest just to play it out. This was truly bingo at its finest, as we all raised and reraised to the river to get out. I somehow lasted to third raising and capping. I wonder if that affected my VIPoints.

Today, Sunday, the registration closed off at 185 players. This includes everyone who bought in regularly as well as all their single-table and multi-table qualifiers to win seats. That means Empire is putting up a whopping $20,030 to make up for the guarantee. This is bad news for Empire. Week after week, their Wednesday and Sunday guaranteed $$ tournaments are not attracting the people. Think they'll offer the $50K again next Sunday or revert to $30K? Or get rid of it altogether? Answer hazy, try again.

I kept track of the hands I played, thinking I'd list on the blog all the hands I played that would eventually cruise me into a multi win!! Alas, it wasn't meant to be. My last hurrah was JJ. Preflop was raised, it was reraised, and I 3bet. The original bettor folded, and the reraiser called with 66. The flop gave him a 6, and I was toast at 86th. It's a bummer to go out on a better hand.

More 5/10 6max on Empire and more 3/6 5max on Paradise (including their $30K tourney, which I lost with KK vs. A-10 and an Ace on the turn). The kicker: 88 and an 8 flops. Someone with 47o makes his runner gutshot straight. My head's shaking just thinking about it.

I then switched to five 30+3 SnGs and placed 5th, 4th, 3rd, 2nd, and 1st -- in that order. On the last one I leap for joy when I call with 44 and seemingly the entire table calls to a flop of AA4 (and two of the same suit). I rubbed my hands at all the callers, thinking how I was going to slowplay this one to the max and for once PUNISH the flush draw who I know had to be there.

And then... my connection drops! I hadn't kept track that I was online for my allotted time before it'll disconnect. Needless to say, there were many questionable words expressed in the grub household. I reconnected as fast as I could, but the hand was over. I assume I won it, but my chip count was hardly bigger.

Fortunately, that hand didn't matter much, as that was the one I won.

I do much better in the SnGs than the shorthanded games, as this past week shows. I question my abilities for these SnGs, thinking the odds are too great to place at least 3rd, and I'm dead money. Checking my PokerTracker stats proves this untrue (unlike the ring games, I'm actually up in the SnGs), but somehow I can't shake the feeling that I'm not good enough to maintain the win rate.

I have an aggressive style in 6max. ZeeJustin has been posting some of davidross's questionable hands on 2+2, and I've responded how I would've played them. In every case, if I were playing the same hand, I would've raised each time David called.

I've played ZeeJustin and he's extremely aggressive -- until you bite back and he'll then back off (usually leaving to another table). Ulysses is also aggressive but not overly so (he was witness to my $-250 bad card run in half an hour). David rarely raises on a semi-bluff. I like playing the 2+2ers -- I know how they play, I know enough to stay out of their way, and vice versa. I'd much rather play a couple good people and one fish than all fish.

This aggressive style explains my huge swings -- it can be profitable (such as January was) and it can equally go the opposite (as all of February so far). Pots are built when I have the best of it or I'm semi-bluffing, and then I see all the chips shipped to someone else.

Completed flushes are most bothersome, because I know they're drawing for it. I just know it. I'll raise or 3bet to get that person out. I had KK and someone else had JJ. We raised/capped every street. Then someone with 35s gets his flush on the river. What can you do?

There seems to be no amount that someone on a flush draw will fold to. The correct play is to make it as expensive as possible. This only serves to make the pot odds better for the draw to call.

That's another vote for the no-limit SnGs. The suited hands may raise all-in for their draw (this frequently is the case early in the SnG), but I'm assuming they'll think hard calling an all-in.

And the beats bother me less in the SnGs. I don't dwell on the hands. The most I could ever lose on not just the hand but the whole tourney would be $10+1 or $30+3 or $50+5. I'd lose much more in one hand of 5/10.

So. This week I'm going to lay off on the shorthanded games and just do SnGs with the occasional multi (and WSOP/big game qualifier) thrown in and see how I do. I thoroughly enjoy the 6max and find them challenging and still think them profitable (ultimately), but my psyche and bankroll are too damaged to continue. Better to go with what PokerTracker says is my strength... at least until I can build up the roll for the 15/30 6max! Heh, just kidding.

§
For 12 years I've had my furniture arranged the same way. Computer and table facing the wall, TV behind. Made for difficult viewing in the reflection of the computer monitor. The two birds with one stone idea, I thought it'd be nice to play poker while watching "Fear Factor."

I also wanted to make more space available for the eventual laptop I'll be getting. More and more poker sites don't work on my Windows 78, and it'd be fun to play poker on the toilet.

This weekend I made the switch. I couldn't figure out how to move the long, conference-type table without dragging it. If I had roller skates, I would've put them under the legs. I'm sure there's some dolley invention like this at hardware stores, but using my grub ingenuity, I went under the table and lifted it, crawling with it on my back like a turtle.

It was quite the sight, one I'm glad no one will be able to use for future ransom.

The table replaces one of the two couches I have. That will take some more thinking, how to move the couch across the room. Both the back legs are gone, and it's a heavy sofabed monstrosity, with odd metal bits poking out that require tetanus shots whenever walking past. It seems to shoot out these staples at inopportune moments. I have hardwood floors, and I was only able to move the couch into the kitchen by sliding it on a swatch of carpet. And that would be 12-year-old carpet, the bottom of which has all but disintegrated. So I left a trail of dust/sand/asbestos, freely breathing in the spores that I now feel like the start of my sickness in the Vegas trip in December.

Ideally I'd throw the thing away, but I couldn't even get it through the door without help, and I made a vow never to ask friends to help me move. Another thought would be to hack it up and take it to the dumpster piece by piece, but the bed inside is more the problem. It would take awhile to burn.

So for now I'll be leaping over the couch (in a single bound) to get to the kitchen. Maybe I'll move the microwave onto the computer table.

But hey, some exercise.



lunches & dinners:
the usual junk

weekend grub: 40
weekend poker: -600 (the last of the losses, I hope)

 
HI-G, Varekai, and purple poop

Yo Ben Affleck! Stop hiding behind your publicist. What, are you scared to play against us bloggers? Why have you not responded to my emails?

WE WILL NOT BE IGNORED.

Who's with me?

Where'd everyone go?

Suffice to say, Mr. Affleck is #2 to reject The Grublog Poker Classic. That doesn't mean you have to! We have 12 so far. Don't forget to sign up! Feb. 22 is just around the corner.

§
Found a couple photos from the zombie show I'd mentioned yesterday:

is he dead? poke him!

serves you right, playing with the undead!

smile for the camera!


The auditions were a blast. Too many of the same monologues from Jeffrey and many that went on too long, but one did a hilarious read of the opening to "The A-Team." He was cast instantly, but had to bow out due to other commitments.

In callbacks, the director had everyone on one side of the theater. Before he paired them up to read sides, he had each one come down and say the first line of the play with their best kung-fu pose: "I'm gonna kick some zombie ass!"

Some got quite into it. They had the benefit of watching how each one before performed, and each did a different take. So we had the gamut of emotions -- scared, angry, sexy... I liked sexy the best.

I was a bit embarrassed for the actors to have to be put through this (I suspect they were hoping to get cast in the Mamet piece), but in talking with some of them later on, I found they enjoyed the process.

Over the two-week run, I went to every one of the shows at a small 150-seater black box in Dupont Circle, and though the audience reaction was mixed (some sat in silence, some laughed at certain lines but not others, some were in shock and called me a misogynist -- quite handy to be on a bill with David Mamet, eh?), I had a terrific time.

And I got paid.


§
For those obsessed with that penguin game from yesterday, here's another one.

§
Last Friday I flew to California to surprise mamagrub on her 60th birthday. It was even more of a surprise because her birthday isn't until next week (when asked how long we're to celebrate her birthday, she said, "the whole month!"). California being the card barn capital of the world, grubette and I worked out a plan of action to take in a couple tournaments around mamagrub's visit. Plus we were going to meet the famous hdouble of Cards Speak.

To test my "luck," I stayed up all night Thursday playing on Empire. Bad idea. Lost $300. I should just eat my lucky gummy bears purchased from the airport snack bar rather than try for luck online. Already I was in a mood for Friday.

Left amidst a dreary morning of freezing rain and sleet, only to arrive at Dulles Airport a bit past the 30-minute arrival window that JetBlue enforces. This being my virgin JetBlue voyage, I pleaded ignorance and despite some heavy artillery tears and wails, flirts and hotel keys, not to mention the $20 trick, I was told to talk to the hand.

Fortunately, they put me on the next flight without charge.

Unfortunately, this meant I would miss the limit tournament at Hawaiian Gardens with hdouble and grubette. Surely I would have won had I made it on time.

During my four-hour "delay," I listened to Howard Stern that I had MP3ed from that morning. If only I had a laptop with a wireless connection, I could while away the time and make up that loss on Empire!

I could see why there's a half-hour cutoff. The security line looped twice around the length of the entire airport before entering the Disneylandesque zig-zag line -- and all to get in another line to the shuttle that takes you to the gates. If there's anything I hate more, it's an airport with a tram. I want to get there and board the plane, or deplane and get out. I don't want the airport to be a mini-trip of its own. Washington, D.C. has three area airports. Reagan National (Arlington) is the closest and most preferred. BWI (Baltimore) is further away but easy to get to and no tram. Dulles (Herndon) is a complete pain.

From someone 12 years cableless and with no television reception past NBC, the DirecTV on the back of everyone's airplane seat was only mildly diverting. But nothing was on, and iRiver saved me.

grubette picked me up from the tiny Long Beach Airport (which has it right -- the plane practically drops you off in front of your car), and off we went.

Hawaiian Gardens the city is home to Hawaiian Gardens the poker room, which is apparently so big that the city changed its name to the cardroom. Word has it California state will soon change their name to Hawaiian Gardens, according to Gov. Schwarzenegger.

It is indeed a cavernous, intimidating place, probably bigger than the card room at the Taj (in Atlantic City... though also a contender in biggest size with that other one sans poker room). They can accommodate a few hundred people in their regular tournaments, while having just as many playing cash games. Tables were doing a Janet Jackson (busting at the seams), even in the dining room. I expected to see a table or two in the restroom.

But HI-G was also pleasantly smokefree and brightly lit. Nonalcoholic drinks were free, and delicious-smelling food could be ordered at the table for half-price. I never eat at the table (bad table manners?) because I never really mastered the art of eating in front of people, and because I don't like to get the cards greasy. If you watched carefully, that piece of rice still on the back of one card was a marked Ace.

Setups were often called, despite two decks being used and an automatic shuffler built into the table.

Food and drink service had the impression of being fast, but only because there were so many of them, all with different functions. You only had to decode the colors of the runners' shirts. I asked for a P.O.G. juice (my first gamble of the night, thinking anything with an acronym can't be all that bad -- turned out I lost this bet, as it was a bad Hawaiian guava concoction) from the drink runner, but he was the wrong colored shirt. Blue shirts gave massages. They also had man hands. Strapless shirts... well, they weren't employed by the casino. I asked for a Diet Coke from the cocktail waitress but had to wait for the soda colored shirt.

I have to pause here to admonish not only HI-G and the state of California but the entire West Coast. Why is Diet Pepsi the standard diet drink of choice? Don't you know Diet Coke is ten times better? This forced substitution was prevalent everywhere I was served in CA as well as Vegas. How can I vacation someplace where there is no freedom of choice? This is America!

I drank my Diet Pepsi in silence. At least it was free.

The cafe contained the same food but at full price and slower service. The too-salty seared ahi salad was passable, but grubette's half-eaten eggs benedict was good (24-hour breakfast is served, something McDonald's should institute).

hdouble text messaged that he'd missed the tournament but was in a soft 6/12 game.

"Soft 6/12." Oooh. Almost sounds as good as "free beer" and "comped room" and "the baby's not yours" (oops, I mean "dismissed charges"). I had to wipe my Pavlovian drool from my chin, but I had butterflies about sitting down just yet. I'm okay once I pull up to the table, but I get nervous before.

And soft? Boy, was he right. It was looser than Party. Over half the players calling one or two bets to see the flop. And calling stations left and right like AT&T was having a sale. Some huge pots -- people up an entire rack on one hand, then down one on another. Some were already on their second or third buy-in. Purses and wallets kept flying open. It was Friday night at HI-G, they were here to have fun.

Spotted HD who was wearing a disguise of a tan cap and black shirt so as not to attract the chubby women from Buffalo Bill's. He clued me in to seat one who was a raising maniac, and I should do everything I could to get to that table.

Yelling fire and throwing my chips on the ground to create a diversion for someone's empty chair didn't work, so I put my name in for a table change.

I mistakenly walked out of my own table with my remaining chips, so waited about 20 minutes before getting called to table 12.

I'm called for table 12 and find myself walking past HD and the raising maniac, to two tables over. The brush mistook that table for another, and I was waiting 20 minutes for the wrong table.

No matter. I put in another table change to the correct table 10 and settled in. I didn't move for the next four hours.

AK and AQ quickly crumbled, with me raising and betting the whole way. Decided at that point not to raise preflop. People weren't folding anyway, and I thought I might be able to get more out of them postflop if I had the best of it and meanwhile save money otherwise.

Soon a tipsy grubette sat down, after being down a rack in 4/8. Then HD joined, looking like he was up a rack. He said he was losing some EV by leaving Monsieur le Maniac, but it was great to play with him. (And though I looked longingly at the raising maniac, I ignored my table change request and stayed put.) HD's blog details a killer back-to-back sets of Kings, one that he won, one that he would have won.

grubette's beau then sat down, and it was four of us in the 7, 8, 9, and 10 seats.

grubette likes action. When she drinks, she raises with questionable hands. She was on her fifth or sixth Corona and she 3bet me with pocket twos. She has an ultra-aggressive style preflop and admits it's an ego thing, that if someone reraises her she'll cap with a myriad of hands. But postflop she'll back down. And if she sees you with a few chips left, she'll be kind and check it down.

I don't have the reckless abandon that she does preflop. But I also don't have the heart that she does postflop. If I have the best of it, I have no problems taking someone's last chip.

But heads-up against grubette, I know enough to get out of her way unless I have something good.

That something good came with pocket Aces and me UTG. I raise. grubette's to my left and reraises. Seat one caps! In a bit of theatrics, I sigh heavily. But it was a real reaction, as I was more thinking this is another time AA will be cracked.

That fear dissipated as soon as a beautiful Ace flops. And a rainbow flop. I check, grubette bets, seat 2 calls, and I raise.

Yeah, that's right, I check-raised my sister.

We lose seat 2, but grubette stays to the end and slams down her cracked Kings. She was unafraid of th