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If you buy stuff off eBay and pay with PayPal, here are some coupons that apply to your purchase price (before shipping):
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All expire July 15.
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I spent 16 hours at The Orleans, wanting to do a TomKat double-feature, despite showtimes being several hours in between.
Went to the last Tuesday showing of Batman Begins and stayed up to see the first Wednesday showing of War of the Worlds.
It wasn't to test stamina, it was just because I didn't feel like going home and making two trips. 'Course, if I'd just gotten a room at their hotel, it would've been cheaper overall.
Fortunately, in Vegas they won't kick you out if you stay on their property all night.
Especially if you're gambling.
In between flicks, I ate the $2.95 graveyard special steak and eggs at the cafe, played poker until tables broke, drank Bloody Marys all night, played blackjack (lost nine hands in a row, oh how I have contempt for this game), played slots, and had a Subway sub.
The Orleans is one of a few casinos that rates your slot play on coin-out. Meaning if you don't win, you don't get points. If you win a million dollars on one spin, your card will be instantly filled with points. The rich get richer.
They say this evens out in the long run, but coming from someone who tends not to hit big wins, I don't like it. It's extremely difficult to earn points this way, and I want to be credited for every cent I play. It's not uncommon for me to insert $20 and not win a single spin, and hence, not earn a single point.
I've also never found The Orleans' slots to be as loose as they claim. Certainly not looser than Strip casinos. (Loosest are downtown and offstrip casinos like the Stations and Silverton.)
But I had hours and hours to kill, and the poker room was down to one table, so I played.
Not that you really want to play for comps, but the goal was to earn 13,300 points, which you can then cash in for $40. In June and July you can use those same points for 25 percent extra in the form of a $50 Visa card.
If I won $1M, I'd have enough points to get 75 Visa cards plus a food comp to Subway.
I petered out at earning 4000 points to get me up to 12,000. Finally gave up. I won't be back unless I do another movie marathon or a poker tournament.
I enjoyed Batman Begins, once past the ponderous opening. To fight fear, you must become fear? How enlightening. Katie Holmes' scary bad acting stuck out like a sore talon. I don't know what's scarier, her acting or her lips, ever since seeing those photos of her cold sores, which I actually suspect are stills from an upcoming movie rather than her being contaminated by Tom Cruise's swamp mouth. Though what's with her hand in this photo? It's like some kind of alien hand, looking more like a foot. If I were Christian Bale, my fear would be more of kissing Katie than of bats flying in my hair.
War of the Worlds had good special effects (how did they film that interior car scene that moves outside and all around?), but that was about it. I felt more suspense and unease out of protege M. Night Shyamalan's ripoff Signs.
Steven Spielberg and Tom Cruise both said they were drawn to the story and impressed by the first draft. What story?
A divorced father reconnecting with his kids amidst an alien invasion? They could've done so much more with this but took easy way outs every step of the way. There was no evolution in the characters, and the final scene (not talking about the aliens; the narration bookending the film isn't worth discussing) is as ridiculous and as hokey as anything.
The Ray character made a choice. He didn't suffer the consequences of that choice. (Hope that's cryptic enough not to reveal any spoilers.)
For shame, David Koepp.
The one saving grace was the brilliant Dakota Fanning, who if she decides to stick with acting, will be one of our great actors. Though even she could've done with a tad less screeching.
§
Sunday through Tuesday, I stayed at Silverton, three miles south of Mandalay. I had been before, but never stayed there. And you know me, wanting to check out every hotel room in town.
They've finished all renovations, including a spanking new poker room that opened last month and is one of the classiest I've see and an instant favorite.
It's a small, cozy room with five tables scrunched together. 2/4, 4/8, and 1/2NL are spread and all tables were full on Sunday night. The attention to detail given to tables and chairs show someone was listening to the poker player (unlike, say, Steve Wynn or any of the temporary WSOP tables): plush brown felt that cliffs off to a handsome marble rail, cupholders, automatic shufflers. The brown chairs have high backs that force you to have good posture, and the feel of it is something like a snake skin.
Sitting at the table, I felt privileged to play poker.
Five plasma TVs (one for each table!) adorn the walls and overwhelm the small size of the room, giving an impression of a TV studio or someone's fancy-schmancy screening room. Still, it's nice to be close to the TV no matter where you sit. The back granite wall containing three of the TVs looks like it would house a fireplace if not for the TV.
There was one cocktail waitress who was fast and efficient, somehow maneuvering between each table gracefully. The dealers were young and about half-experienced. But they seemed much more assured than first month at Aladdin.
My one problem with the room is the air conditioning. Vents were everywhere, and continually blew cold on my naked knees. We had to ask the floor to turn off the AC a couple times. A few of the locals-in-the-know brought coats and sweaters in anticipation. Apparently next to the Plasma screens, it can get hot, so you'll either be hot or cold. Kinda like your cards.
Played a fun but tight 1/2 NL game ($40/100 min/max) with mostly young locals, all from other casinos. Monte Carlo, Golden Nugget, Treasure Island, and Stratosphere were represented here by players who probably lived near Silverton. Definitely a good place to network.
Chatting with casino employees and poker dealers, I can keep up on the poker room gossip. I already knew about the Venetian rumor and how they've said they want to build one with 40 tables, which would make them the largest card room in Vegas. I knew about Green Valley Ranch being delayed from a July opening (it'll be in the old Trophy's restaurant location, but when I visited last week it still looked like a restaurant). Also knew about Caesars and Hilton. But I didn't know about Tuscany. The Treasure Island guy said he keeps pestering management to open a poker room at TI. It's a good feeling to still be in the midst of the poker explosion and seeing no signs of it letting up.
One elderly gentleman spoke of playing Stu Ungar (when he was 15), Doyle Brunson, and Puggy Pearson. About Doyle, he said he watched him lose a $170,000 pot (back in the day when $170K meant something, ahem) and then a few hours later take everyone at the table for everything they had.
Fearless, that's what Doyle was/is. I'm thinking this as I raise someone $15 and am scared my pocket Aces won't hold up.
I played all night as tables broke and we were the only game going. We finally broke at 4 a.m., and I drove to Ellis Island for the $4.95 steak special. I'm now ordering the brownie sundae whenever I get the special, but they were out of brownies and I had to go with the underwhelming peach cobbler. The steak, as always, was delicious.
Back at Silverton, it was time to check out the hotel room. A pool and jacuzzi was outside (your standard hotel pool) and looked open to all, save a sign that said it was for registered hotel guests. Whenever I stay at a place, I keep one of the hotel room keys. You never know when it might come in handy, such as flashing it to get access to a club or pool or simply a line pass to the buffet.
My room was on the top floor (fourth floor), and near the elevators. The rooms continue the look of a mountain lodge theme, and they're comfortable with decoration details like plants, rust iron lamps, chrome wastepaper cans, and a grizzly bear oil painting. Soap and shampoo are courtesy of Bath & Body Works, USA Today is delivered every morning, and the beds are plush pillowtops that are the same as used at Bellagio.
I need to get me a pillowtop. I'd heard somewhere that they're bad for your back, so I went with a firm mattress. But now I realize it was only if you have back problems. My trial period where I could exchange my bed for a pillowtop has expired, so if I can manage to get out of this bad run I still seem to be in, I'll look into some sort of pillowtop that I can place on top of the mattress.
The bathroom is small, with an oversized door that opens to almost touch the toilet. I like big bathrooms, and more thought should've been placed into this one. If the door could open outwards, it would be a big improvement.
Ordered room service in the evening and morning and was able to get them to knock it off the bill (when checking out, always ask for a slot host to review your play). The food from their Sundance cafe was filling but not any better than your average grub. My $41 breakfast was more expensive than my dinner, and dinner was tastier.
They have a new lounge somehow sanctioned by Hootie & the Blowfish. Silverton's Shady Grove Lounge has their name on it, and I presume whenever Hootie's in town, they'll perform at Silverton.
I was licking my chops at this lounge -- happy hour appetizer specials, pool, foosball, and a fun two-lane bowling alley inside a mock trailer. A great place to hang out, as is the Azure lounge, next to the mermaid performances every hour beginning at 5 p.m. Unfortunately at Azure, there's an entertainment tax added to your drink/meal even if you're allergic to mermaids.
As for my play there, well, let's say I played enough and lost enough that I'll probably get future offers which wouldn't be a bad thing, because I'm a new fan of their poker room and hotel room. The two new Monopoly slots (All in the Cards, Own It All) are tremendous fun, and twice I was one property away from Owning It All (had monopolies on all three sides). WMS is by far my favorite slot manufacturer, far eclipsing IGT.
Sat next to a woman at the penny slots who aligned her three snowballs for free spins and kept hitting those snowballs within her bonus round. She had over 60 free spins and won $350. Then when the bonus ended, it took her to the Millioniser bonus.
How lucky can you get? I had the dark thought that too bad the BTK killer missed her. Which shows where my mind's gone, because I'm normally happy for people when they win. Anyone who takes money from a casino I'm ecstatic about. Lately though I want it to be me, and seeing others who are luckier is getting to me.
Another example. Played blackjack and hit another of my losing streaks -- eight losing hands in a row (my record is 14). Where is the winning streak? Where is winning two hands in a row? Played two hours without hitting a blackjack, yet I kept counting blackjacks others were getting. One person from Scotland hit five in an hour, two of them back-to-back. He kept apologizing to me for taking my blackjacks.
I tried a six-shoe, double-deck, and single-deck (because I gave up; 6:5 payouts for bj means nothing if you don't get bj). All bad results.
This has to balance out eventually, right? Unfortunately, unless accounting for millions of hands, no. I need to get off this game. It's not about counting or betting amounts for me, it's the constant stream of basic strategy hands that just don't hold up that stresses me out. I don't know what it is in me that thinks I can still win.
Returned home to find an offer from Wynn. Two free nights until June 30 and $100 in free slotplay, which I'm guessing they sent to anyone who visited (I only played 200 points on my card, enough to get me on the radar but not to award me a free room). This may have been a last-minute effort to fill rooms for the days before July 4th or an experiment to see how fast people could make plans to stay at their hotel.
Not having seen Wynn's hotel rooms yet, I immediately jumped on it and was pleased to find they extended the offer through September 1st.
So if you've received a similar letter, hang onto it for the next couple months.
Wynn is the only place where I'm an overall winner. But then, I've only been there twice and played there once.
— —
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Ron & Fez and Steak & Eggs
Ron and Fez, my favorite radio personalities of all time, have begun streaming live for free off WJFK in Washington, D.C. The direct link to bring up the pop-up is at this site. JFK's also streaming their other local shows The Sports Junkies and Don & Mike. They're dark with Howard Stern, Bill O'Reilly, and Loveline.
Nothing compares to the smart, witty, entertaining show Ron and Fez put on for four hours every day. The only reason I haven't gone insane living out here is by keeping up with underground files of their shows, which is mainly what I listen to whenever my MP3 earbuds are in. It made the move easier knowing I would still have access to their shows.
I listened to the live feed last week and aside from the occasional buffering dropout, the quality is pretty darn good. It's also nice to again hear callers from New York, where Ron & Fez were originally at WNEW (and before that, Florida). You just have to put up with many of the same PSAs during commercial breaks, which I'm guessing are in place of local spots or otherwise you'd assume DC has an abundance of deadbeat dads.
Try 'em out for a week and you'll be hooked. The longer you listen, the more in-jokes you'll pick up, and you'll be a fan for life. Their show can be heard from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m. EST.
From a branding and exposure point of view, this may be the first punch in terrestrial radio's fight with satellite. But is it a losing battle? Build a national audience via the Internet and then... what?
I'm not really sure what this streaming does financially for the radio station, unless they sell national ads, and that would be a hard sell without Arbitron data behind them.
What WJFK and other Infinity stations could be thinking is market their shows nationwide, gain recognition, then syndicate the more popular one(s) to replace Howard Stern when he moves to Sirius in January (it's either that or they don't go with a national tentpole morning show and leave it up to the individual stations). As part of his five-year, $500 million deal, Stern is exclusive to Sirius which doesn't leave the option of simulcasting part of his show on terrestrial. A greedy mistake on his part, because only a fraction of his audience will be following him to Sirius, a fraction itself of the audience XM has and will have by January. Still, buyouts can happen and contracts can be negotiated. I wouldn't be surprised if Viacom (which owns Infinity) becomes affiliated with Sirius (run by Mel Karamazin, former head of Viacom).
Or to get nasty, Viacom could align themselves with XM, simulcasting an edited Opie and Anthony to replace Stern on terrestrial. Farid Suleman at Citadel experimented with this in Syracuse while Stern was on vacation over New Year's, so it isn't unprecedented.
Regardless, I'm just happy to have my buddays back. Even if/when they move to XM satellite radio like they've been hinting the past few months, I'll follow Ron and Fez wherever they go.
§
The past week I've been staying up all night battling the WSOP drunkards at Rio, then calming down with a relaxing breakfast at Klondike -- steak and eggs with home fries and toast for $6.75 ($8.50 with a Bloody Mary). One day if I find myself there at night, I'll try their $6.59 prime rib dinner (though it's available 24 hours, I have to have sunnyside-up eggs when the sun is rising).
The Klondike Hotel and Casino is an old-school, hole-in-the-wall casino on the south end of the Strip, next to the sad sign that states you're leaving Las Vegas, please drive carefully.
You can see the entire layout of the casino from the front entrance. There's no getting lost in a maze here.
Klondike offers $2 double-deck blackjack and 10 cent roulette, which are the only tables running whenever I've been in. Probably because there are no other tables.
Player's card? Bah, who needs it. Ticket-in, ticket-out? Bah, a bucket for the nickels will do the job just fine. If not for the regular modern slot machines, you'd think you were transported back in time a few decades. Everyone including the women look like Philip Baker Hall, and everyone smokes. Even the employees. The pitboss was smoking at the table while doing his paperwork, the cashier was smoking in the cage. She may have been pregnant. Anything that isn't moving has cigarette stains and burns on it. If they're lucky.
And everyone is very friendly.
The homey atmosphere also transfers to the 24-hour diner within, where I feel right at home and where I see regulars stop to read the morning paper while eating their eggs.
Compared with other breakfasts in town, it's not the cheapest (though they do offer 99-cent egg and pancakes), but server Marise is extraordinarily personable, talking up each customer and calling them "honey" or "baby" to make them feel welcome while juggling multiple orders.
Anyone who's able to pull this off amidst obvious food chaos gets high marks from me, and I overtip even if I'm down for the day... which dang it, has been every day but one (damn drunks).
Though I visit the buffets often, given a choice between a dive diner and a cafe in a megaresort casino, I choose the one with personality, and that ain't the Wynn.
— —
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
As the Sahara turns: nighttime dilemma
My friend Anne appears on "As the World Turns" this afternoon as the compassionate nurse who makes sure Grand Dame Lucinda Walsh is "taken care of."
Anne was in a comedy of mine where she played the infant-fearing girlfriend of a guy who has a baby daughter, embodied in a 200-pound grown man wearing pink pajamas. All of the budget went to the crib (an Eddie Bauer crib at the Salvation Army), so the pink pajamas unfortunately weren't the shocking pink I had in mind and instead looked like normal pajamas. It shared the bill with a play by David Henry Hwang, so I was in very esteemed company.
I mention "As the World Turns" just in case anyone might be able to record a .WAV (2 p.m. EST). I'm without cable and TV reception, so I'll pop by a casino bar and try to convince them to switch off their pesky sports and tune to a soap. Think that'll go over with the gambling drinkers? Hmmm... maybe a sportsbook with their little TVs would let me pick up other stations.
§
Put the car into the shop yet again and the battery light problem resulted in needing a new battery (my five years were up before I took it cross-country) as well as a new alternator, charging the battery to just 11 volts.
I'm now on a first-name basis with my mechanic, Hutch, who recognizes his handiwork like Van Gogh because he chops something off each time to ensure I return the car in a few weeks.
And he had the nerve to ask why I hadn't gotten license plates yet.
I had a choice between a 3-year and a 7-year battery, and with the difference only $30, I went with the 7. I don't expect the car to last another 3 years, so I'm not sure why I took the upsell. $30 will buy an awful lot of shrimp cocktails.
That adds another $900 to repairs this year, totaling a little over $4000 that I've sunk into the car since I moved. Very distressing. Had I known the car would require this many repairs and with what I've lost this year gambling, I should've given away the car in DC and bought a new one once I arrived in Vegas. Hindsight.
After the repairs, I went to Sunset Station and picked up my free Barber-in-a-Box (a haircutting kit), then settled in for nine hours of poker at the 3/6/9. Would've played longer but the table broke, which it often does whenever shorthanded. People don't like playing shorthanded, even though worse hands play better short than full and even though the rake is dropped to $1 max or even zero. That's one aspect that's better than online; if you get down to five people, the floor will often decrease the rake.
Shortly after I sat down, a guy sat a couple seats to my right and began raising every hand preflop. If someone reraised, he would 3bet. If 3bet, he would cap.
People caught on and tried trapping, but it didn't work and soon it was common for the flop to be seen capped seven ways. It was also common for just top or middle pair to take down the big pot.
Swings were huge, but if you could manage to win a pot you'd win your money back fast.
Pots were so huge that it made it worth calling if you had a draw or any piece of the flop.
I began playing hands that I more tend to play in no-limit -- small suited and one-gap connectors. I didn't want the impression of being too tight, because if I came in for a raise, people would fold.
I lost every hand except one that I played against the maniac, mostly him hitting his trips or two pair on the river.
One hand I had against him had me with QQ. It was capped as usual preflop, and the flop gave me a Q but also two hearts. He bet out and I made the mistake of just calling when I should've raised. This let a couple more people in to possibly draw for cheap (I suspect if they were calling, they would've called a raise as well).
The turn gave another heart -- no straight possibility. When the maniac bet out, this time I raised and got the others to fold.
The river put out a fourth heart, and when he checked, I checked behind. Against someone else, I would've bet hoping they'd fold a small heart. The maniac wasn't folding regardless, and I figured I'd save $9. 'Course, I'd also lose that $9 in the event he didn't have a heart.
The set held up and he didn't have a heart. The two people who folded both said "good raise," because they did. It was a good raise, but one card too late.
After he busted, people began leaving, then the table broke.
I was never up more than $40 and at one point I was down $160. I left down $111, which I didn't feel too badly about.
I can't, however, continue playing this limit if I'm relying on it to pay the rent.
Bellagio is still too crowded and Wynn and Mirage are annoying to get to.
Green Valley Ranch caters to a higher clientele, and I'm hoping once their poker room opens (supposedly July, but I've heard they've pushed it back), they'll offer at least 10/20 or no-limit, which Sunset only spreads on weekends with a mammoth waiting list and one table.
I'm no longer playing online, so I'll need to be selective in where I play live.
§
The Thursday that the bloggers were in town, I'd met my cousin Deanna at Sahara before going to lunch. That was actually the first time I'd been to Sahara. It seemed reminiscent of a boxy Atlantic City casino, somewhere in between downtown and a resort Strip casino.
I hear constantly from other poker players that Sahara has the best no-limit hold'em tournaments in town, so I took in a couple on Sunday. Tournaments, that is.
From what I've seen, I'll be back.
They spread three every day -- 11 a.m., 7 p.m., and 11 p.m. All are $42 with an optional $20 rebuy.
Best of all, they offer free sub sandwiches at the first break. Looked at another way, if you're knocked out, they're $62 sandwiches. You have to be in the know for this, because it's well-hidden in the back of the poker room. I didn't think anything until I saw people walking around with similar sandwiches and no nearby deli. Like tracking ants, I found where they were grazing.
Play is exceptionally soft. Probably the worst play I've seen, and that's saying a lot. I saw people calling down raisers to the river with Ace high. Not even a draw.
And those draws -- you can't get people to fold. If you bet all-in on the flop and a bad player has a flush or open-ended straight draw, he will see the large amount of chips to be won, assume "pot odds" are now in his favor, and he will call.
My final hand of the 11 a.m. tourney happened before the second break. Someone went all-in at 4x the blinds and the chip leader called.
I had AQs. The correct play would've been to raise all-in to isolate. I had just been moved to the table and didn't know what the chip leader was capable of and I figured I'd take a flop.
Well, there goes me trying to justify. I flat-out made a mistake in not re-raising all-in.
The flop came A-2-x.
The chip leader bet the minimum.
Now I went all-in. Another mistake, because I could be dead to AK. A raise would be better to see where I am.
Chip leader insta-called and showed A2o.
No help for me on the remaining cards, and I'm out with no one to blame but myself.
The person who went all-in, by the way, had K-10. Later in the 7 p.m. tourney, I saw someone call an all-in with K-10. Final table and shortstacked, I understand... but first hour and average chipstack?
As I left, I heard people tell the A2o guy that he'd be at the final table for sure. I almost doubled him up, and he was chip leader to begin with.
Just for my own satisfaction, I checked back in a couple hours and he had already busted out.
§
I counted quite a few hours remaining before 7 o'clock.
Not a lot you can do in a casino, so after walking around, I picked up a player's card, earned 100 points (at an awful $10 playthrough per point) playing slots, and got a free buffet.
Hung out upstairs gorging for awhile, then back downstairs for some blackjack.
I heard Sahara had introduced a game called Blackjack Surrender, but I didn't see it anywhere. In that game, you get the option of winning a guaranteed half-bet if you show a 20 and the dealer shows a 10 (and no blackjack). My luck, I'd take this player insurance every time.
Discovered that the monorail brochure they're handing out contains a coupon for $50 in non-negotiable chips for $40. An instant 15 percent return sounded good to me, so I tried it out.
You bring the coupon and $40 to the cashier, and they give you $50 in blue chips to play at a table game (no poker).
Many casinos offer something similar, usually with Win Cards (rules and strategy cards for blackjack, craps, and roulette). Their marketing is toward first-time gamblers or to entice slot players to try out the tables.
What was different about Sahara was that they didn't ask for my ID or player's card (where at other casinos they can mark your account to let them know you've already taken advantage of the offer). They simply accepted the coupon and my $40, then gave me $50 with a smile.
The coupon stated "one coupon per visit." Per visit to the cage, is how I would stretch that restriction. And a few hours later (to try to catch a different cashier), I made another visit with another coupon and another $40.
Played blackjack with the chips to get myself on the Sahara radar. With some concentrated slot and table play in one day, I'm hoping to get slot tournament offers and maybe even a free room so I could stay there while playing at Wynn.
Then hopped in a lousy 2/4 game until the 7 p.m. tourney. The dealer kept making mistakes: forgetting to deal the button a second card, not realizing someone had raised, thinking someone was still in a hand.
The 7 p.m. tourney attracted 158 players with 149 rebuys. Top 11 cashed, with first place receiving $3044, second getting $1480, and third getting $740. From what I heard in the 11 a.m. tourney and from what is common, players tend to chop evenly. I'd love to play in a tournament that doesn't allow chopping.
I'm chugging along in the tourney and last three (I think) breaks, then we're at the final two tables when I get my pivotal hand.
Four callers to me.
I have AQs. I raise all-in, which amounts to only 3x the blinds.
This was a new table and the only other hand I'd played there was a raise to steal the blinds. No one had yet seen a showdown from me.
Others fold and a girl thought hard before calling with 99.
Coin-flip time.
Flop is Ace, river is Q, and no 9.
Not as if I needed reassuring, but I heard her boyfriend from the rail say, "He made the right play."
The same 99 girl is later all-in preflop with AQ (she's now the AQ girl) and another woman calls her with KQ.
The board is 8-9-10-J-x, not in that order.
The dealer pushes the pot to the KQ woman and mucks the cards, but that woman protests saying, "I think we split. We both had the Queen."
The dealer stops scrambling cards.
The woman continues. "I had KQ and she had AQ, so we both had the straight."
I shake my head about to say something, then catch myself. I wasn't in the hand, cards were mucked, and I didn't want to be the bad guy. It didn't affect me, except for serving to get an additional player out.
I probably should have said something, for the good of the game. (This bothered me enough that I posted it on a discussion group to see what they would've done.)
If I were in AQ girl's spot and someone said I won half the pot when I didn't, I would protest. I want to win fair and square.
I check other players' reactions, seeing if they noticed. Nothing. No one seems to know that the KQ woman should've scooped.
The dealer nods, says, "You're right," and chops the pot.
I get an inkling that the AQ girl knew she didn't win, but her bad beat let her conscience accept half the pot. I studied the KQ woman closely, but she seemed to truly believe it was a split pot and didn't seem to be giving her half the pot out of pity.
As the next hand is dealt, I hear AQ girl's boyfriend on the rail chatting with another friend who just arrived. He recounts the hand exactly. It's clear again that KQ should have won. I'm waiting for the friend to say that they shouldn't have chopped, but instead I hear, "Oh man, tough beat, but at least they chopped."
A couple hands later, it's folded to me on the button and I try a minimum raise to T8000 with JQo. Blinds are T2000/4000 and even though I only had T24,000 left, I wanted to make it look like I wanted a call. Others were folding to min-raises, and I saw the blinds were shortstacked.
The AQ girl raises all-in for T8000 more.
T30,000 in the pot now. If I folded, I'd be the shortest stack. Worse, I'd be showing weakness. If I called and lost, I was in good position to steal a couple blinds and recover.
I talked myself into having to call.
Referring to our previous heads-up match with my AQ and her 99, I say I have nothing this time and table JQ. She shows AQ and I get ready to leave.
I ask the dealer to throw a Jack out there. The flop is 8-9-Q.
How about another straight, I ask the dealer. The turn is x.
And the river... my lucky 10!
That's poker, yet I felt as bad as I would have if I were in her shoes. I don't pride myself on drawing out or getting lucky on people. But I don't think it's possible to win a tournament without getting lucky at least twice. (I don't consider my AQ hand vs. 99 a lucky hand, so I had one more draw out to go.)
She gets up and leaves, and I count the chips.
In the background, I hear her boyfriend say, "Oh man, shake her hand or something. At least give her a hug." She says to him, "That's all right."
I maintain composure and don't say anything, when inside I'm screaming with empathy.
After our final break, a guy from the second table sits at ours to balance. Sixteen people to go and top 11 cash. He's UTG and his first hand in, he raises 4x the blinds. It's folded to an older guy who looks at his cards and shakes his head in disapproval, as if saying, "I can't believe you raised me." Still, he had nothing invested in the pot so it was an easy fold. He told the table that he was the raiser's father, to which the raiser said, "Happy Father's Day."
It was now folded to me in the BB. Blinds still T2000/4000.
A lot of things go through my mind. My options are to raise all-in (which would be another T4000, which he would easily call) or fold. Just a few other players at the table have the same amount of chips that I do. I try to peer over to the the stacks of the second table, but can't see.
I call time.
Next hand I would be the button.
Five more players have to be knocked out.
I need chips.
I could double-up here and still be under average.
I fold, showing my JJ.
He says, "Good fold," and throws up pocket Aces.
The table oohs. The guy's father said he had AJ. More oohs.
I'm hoping by showing I can get people to respect my next raise, if they see what I'm capable of folding.
A few hands later, now at T3000/6000 and 13 people left, it's folded to me on the button and I raise the minimum with K10o. My hope was for the same fold from people thinking I had a big hand and wanted them to call, but the cost was showing definite weakness. Particularly if anyone happened to look at my puny stack and wonder why I didn't just go all-in.
The AA guy raises all-in, and I take some time to think just for show, and I fold. He could've been putting a move on me, knowing I'd made a big laydown to him before, but I couldn't take that chance.
The TD then moves me to balance out the second table.
I fold a few hands and then see JJ. I raise all-in and get two callers. Before they show their cards, I say, "Well, Aces are dead."
A6 and A10 called. Both offsuit.
They weren't chip leaders by any stretch, and I thought both were bad calls. Maybe not so much for A10 (who was next shortstack after me, and which put him all-in), but certainly for A6.
The flop gives a 6, and I feel that moment of dread.
The turn is a Jack, but now it puts three clubs out there.
The river is a club, and the guy with the A10 (Ace of clubs) takes it.
Four and a half hours down the drain.
In retrospect, I should have moved all-in wth JJ against the guy with AA. Even though I would have lost, who knew what he had. I was short enough at that moment that it warranted a call.
I should also probably have called with K10. My fold there crippled me, and I'd have to double-up a few times just to be average.
Both times I would've been out, but you never know.
I leave the poker room in 13th place (one more knockout and everyone would cash), redeem my second $50-for-$40 coupon at the cage, steam some in blackjack (which I do by betting bigger than my usual $25), shake my head incredulously losing eight hands in a row (this last happened playing live at The Plaza), then blow the popsicle Sahara looking for food.
— —
Friday, June 17, 2005
David Sedaris defecates in casinos
Usually if I get the opportunity to meet someone I admire, I try to get out of it.
I don't want to meet my heroes and discover in real life they're anything but. I would rather go on "knowing" them through their work or art, safe in my ignorant impression of who they are. They could be even better people than I imagine, but at the risk of going the opposite way and destroying my idolization, I'll take that chance.
Besides, what am I going to say that they haven't already heard a million times before? "I loved your movie/book/song/acting/bowel movement, will you autograph this for my sick friend?"
Because of this, I don't go up to famous people and ask for autographs. I figure they'd just like to be left alone. It helps that I never recognize people anyway. If I'd recognized Danica McKellar at that play in LA, I probably wouldn't have talked to her at all.
And I don't go to book signings. I'd rather stand in line to get a buffet than get a book signed.
Kathy called on Tuesday and said David Sedaris was in town signing books at the Borders near Summerlin.
Earlier that day, I had ordered his new book on Amazon.
It had been awhile since I'd purchased anything and I decided that I was going to buy me some new CDs and books to add to the mess of old CDs and books strewn around my apartment.
I have the musical tastes of a teenaged white girl, and picked up the new Gwen Stefani, Avril Lavigne (because I can't get enough of her songs in heavy rotation at every casino), and -- God help me -- Kelly Clarkson. Both albums. And I've never seen an episode of "American Idol."
I balanced out the teenybopper in me (but not my passe tastes) by getting the new U2, Green Day, and Marilyn Manson (a best-of, which along with a live album, is always the sign a band's on a decline, though Manson probably has been a has-been for awhile now).
I also ordered Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas because I want to pick up whores and drive through red lights, which cause chlamydia and car crashess in real life.
For books, I picked up a couple poker books and some new plays.
Then I thought, "I wonder what that nice David Sedaris is up to?" I knew he had a new anthology of other people's short stories, so I looked for that. Somehow I had completely missed Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim by a year, but was just in time for the paperback version.
I love David Sedaris. I was hooked into his writing from the play Santaland Diaries, taken from his essay of the same name. I'm not a laugh-out-loud kinda grub, but when I saw the play in DC, I was howling. I then heard him on NPR recount a grammar school production of Peter Pan and also laughed out loud, much to the chagrin of my coworkers, the company resources of which I was using to stream the audio.
Into my shopping cart Corduroy went, and I got myself ready to sit outside waiting for the UPS guy (I considered sending it FedEx because the FedEx guy is a cute girl).
Then Kathy called, mentioning the book signing.
There are no real coincidences in life, just connections we force to make ourselves feel in control.
Sedaris in town at the moment I ordered his new book? Gotta be kismet!
I also figured the people this event would attract would be my kinda creative people, away from the gamblers, addicts, and prostitutes that I'm used to. Who are creative in their own right, don't get me wrong, it's just that their creativity ends up costing money.
And Vegas not being known for many literary events, least of all someone I liked, I decided to go.
My Sedaris collection was in a box somewhere, but I found Wigfield by his sister Amy (and Stephen Colbert and Paul Dinello) and brought that to sign. I had seen a performance of Wigfield by the trio two years ago (June 7, 2003, thanks to Colbert inscribing the date) and they sold and signed the book afterwards.
Arriving early at the Borders, my back was covered in sweat so I cooled off walking around the strip mall. My cousin Russ had suddenly called saying he was in town on business and asking to get together that night. I thought we could do drinks before 10 p.m., when he had to turn in to get up early the next day. He was working all day before he had to head back.
Talking to Russ, who's the father of two teenaged girls, I had the impression that he disproves of my gambling as a career. As well he should, but it seemed more admonishment. It didn't help that I told him the truth about how badly I'm doing.
I think to stave off similar comments and to keep them from worrying, from now on I'm going to lie to friends and family and say that poker's going very well and then change the subject.
I was with Russ the first time I gambled in Vegas (my only other time was in Atlantic City and at an illegal firehouse with grubette -- I hadn't played online at all). The whole grubclan was at Rio, we stood in line for 90 minutes waiting for the seafood buffet (lobster tail to die for), then played slots and blackjack. I lost everything I brought. You'd think that would be a sign that gambling wasn't in the cards for me, but no, I had much more to lose.
I suggested he try the Spice Market buffet at Aladdin, and the plan was to meet there.
Kathy called again and said she was on her way, and if I could pick up a number for her. Number? Apparently the bookstore hands out numbers, so you can line up in an orderly way with no pushing or shoving. I was 106, about half an hour off the double-digits I could surely have been. The woman handing out numbers recognized the Wigfield book and said it was the first she'd seen and that Sedaris would be thrilled.
It was standing-room only, too. More crowded than I thought. Nice to see a roomful of people with the same tastes.
Sedaris came out in a blue shirt that he apologized for because he usually wears a tie and his luggage was lost in Alaska.
He read two stories -- one was a fable about animals. Another was a hilarious piece from the current New Yorker about spitting a throat lozenge onto his seatmate on an airplane.
In previous tours, he said, he would give line priority to smokers. That didn't go over too well with some bookstores, so he changed it to smokers and adults with braces. That way if they complained about discrimination, people would say he's discriminating against nonsmokers and adults without braces, and he thought that sounded funny.
He also had set a tip jar out, which he thought was misleading because what he's doing isn't for services rendered because he's happy to do it regardless. So this time he put out a cauldron which was for money, not tips.
His priority was everyone in the front row. Presumably those sitting down in the front row, because we standing-room folks were escorted to the back of the line.
I moved to the front, a few feet from Sedaris, and sat down next to someone else who had the same thing in mind -- eavesdrop on what people said to him and what he said in return. He spent a good amount of time with each person -- answering questions, not seeming in a hurry. And he asked questions in return. Very personable.
I was just enough out of earshot, though, that I couldn't hear exactly what was said. And I was mostly chatting with my new partner-in-eavesdropping friend named Ashley. It was surprising just how much we had in common, and we exchanged numbers. Always nice to meet a new friend (she did mention she was married, which seems to be the case with most of the women I meet here).
When we got in line, we met a girl named Genie, a bartender who works at the new Beauty Bar, an offshoot of the one originating in NYC and also in LA and San Francisco. Genie was cute and single, but she was the type who was well aware of how attractive she was, and unfortunately (or consequently) had a bit of a grating personality while putting out false information. We were talking about our electric bills (some scintillating conversationalists, eh?) and she said during the summer hers get to be $200/month. Something I have to look forward to, I suppose. I was outraged at my own $50/month winter bill, and thought the refrigerator had to be the culprit because I never touched the other kitchen appliances or heat. Genie said it was probably my computer, because computers use a lot of electricity. I said I thought they only used as much as a light bulb, and Ashley agreed. Genie refuted this and said that's a myth. I let it go and didn't argue the point.
Still, Genie was going to get her book signed to "Big Red," which she has some of her books signed to. Others are to "Little Jim," which she had Hugh Hefner sign to. That endeared her to me, sounding like something I would do.
Kathy was way ahead of us in line (some guy had given her his number 68) and she returned with three books signed. One had a Sedaris doodle with explosives, writing "You're dy-na-mite." Another was addressed to her father, saying he had an enchanting daughter.
Very nice comments, and she said they had a pleasant conversation.
Ashley's number was 76 and I could've gone up with her because they weren't checking numbers, but I was honest and took my rightful place between 105 and 107. I did have to call Russ to cancel, as it was 9:30 p.m. and it didn't look like I'd be able to get to Aladdin by 10 p.m.
When Ashley returned with her book, she looked distraught. She asked Sedaris if he was tired, which he misheard as something about Target. Which got him to ask her if she knew anything about the people who defecate in the rounders at Target. Apparently there are people who go to Target, squeeze into the center of the circular clothing racks, and take a crap in their pants, then leave. Which, aside from the inappropriateness of the conversation, doesn't make sense logically to me. If the goal is to leave a mark, why do it in your pants? And if it's in your pants anyway, why do it in a clothing rounder? Sedaris then asked her about a similar thing in the casinos, though that's more people who don't want to leave their slot machines.
In her book, he wrote a cryptic: "Stay Asian." (She isn't).
Ashley left, and I stood in a rather quiet line for another hour.
Once at the front of the line, I set Wigfield down on the table. Sedaris eyed it like it was contaminated and set his pen down and crossed his arms defiantly. I don't think he heard me say, "Mr. Sedaris, it's a pleasure to meet you."
Talking over me, he said, "Before this goes any further, my sister and I have an agreement not to sign each other's books. Sorry you had to wait in line. Next."
Okay, he didn't say "next," but he looked past me toward the next person, motioning to move along.
I first took it as a joke, then realized he's serious. I looked at him all smug and thought, "What a prick." I thanked him with more than a dollop of sarcasm and started to leave, but damn if I wasn't going to get a few seconds of his time that he gave to everyone else who didn't wait two and a half hours in line and cancel plans with their cousin Russ.
I brought up The Book of Liz, trying to make small talk so I wouldn't be pushed aside so quickly. That segued into Santaland Diaries. All of which he seemed oblivious about, as he said he doesn't pay attention to the plays.
While I was jabbering, in my head I was thinking that I had to get him to sign something. I couldn't run and get another book. He probably wouldn't sign someone else's book. Or a piece of paper. Heck, look at him sitting with his arms crossed, not even willing to pick up the pen.
And I thought, what the hell do I even want his autograph for in the first place? And why am I even here?
So I left, feeling completely rejected and bummed. Not getting a book signed at a book signing feels like not having a stripper approach you at a strip club.
Driving back to the Strip, my battery light stays on. Great. Another trip to the garage.
Went to The Orleans, where I had tickets to see the 12:01 a.m. show of Batman Begins.
Had an hour to kill, so got into a tight 2/5 NL game, where I lost two buy-ins within 15 minutes when my pocket Aces were cracked twice.
The first time, I raise $15 preflop which seemed to be the standard raise and which also seemed to get people to fold in this tight table (in hindsight, I could've raised more). Someone else calls and the flop came J-2-3. I bet $30 and the guy raises all-in, which I call. He shows 5-5. Turn gives him a 5.
Next hand, he does the same move against someone else's pocket Aces, and this time loses. Which meant the guy busted and left, which meant my money walked over to the other guy with the better Aces.
Fifteen minutes later, I get AA again and think this time I'll make it hold up even if I just take blinds. A guy raises $15 preflop. I reraise to $50. He goes all-in, I call.
He looks at his cards and says, "You have a pair?"
I nod.
Once we see the flop, he tables his cards -- K-10 offsuit. The flop has a K and 10, and no other cards help me.
Soon he left, too, and my money went to another guy.
First the rejection by David Sedaris, now the rejection by AA.
My head is swimming, and I try not to show a reaction while silently cursing the luck factor in this game.
It's ten minutes till the movie, but I'm in no mood. I decide to skip it and keep playing to try to recover.
Ten minutes later, the table breaks when we're down to four people and no one but me wants to play shorthanded.
I miss the movie.
Ours was the only NL table running (how I miss the LA cardbarns with the 24-hour action), and the only opening is a 2/4 game, where I sit and start pounding Bloody Marys. It's a fun table, though, and I consider staying there and ignoring my name when it's called for 6/12.
But I wanted to recuperate, and the longer I stay at 2/4 the more I'll lose to the rake, so I go to 6/12 and see a couple people from the NL game who play limit even worse. Along with the local rocks, who are good to have in a game because you know what hands they play.
A few hours later, I manage to recover some of what I lost. When that table breaks, I do too.
Once the David Sedaris book arrives from Amazon, I'm going to take it into a rounder at Target, defecate on it, and mail it to him, thanking him for the autograph.
Though I just checked and it shipped to my old address. Which means I'll need to cancel the order, get a refund, order the book again, and then defecate.
And no more booksignings.
— —
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Wobbly tire tournament
The River Belle online casino is offering an unadvertised free $25 to try out their new multiplayer casino, no deposit required. (You do, however, have to playthrough the $25 five times (wager a total of $125) before you're able to cash out -- considering the normal waging requirement is 15x to 30x, this is an excellent deal.)
Their website doesn't mention it, so I assume they're in a beta mode and are offering it to current players. You can access the download link by downloading one of the Belle Rock casinos (like River Belle or Lucky Nugget). Once you launch the software, their homepage will show a link to download the multiplayer casino.
They offered everyone $10 at first, but I wasn't around to take advantage of it this past weekend. As of today, they're offering $25 and a random download bonus (which was $100 for me through my regular River Belle account).
Get this offer while you can -- once it's up on their website, I don't expect them to continue it very much longer.
§
The Thursday the bloggers were in town, I had lunch with my cousin Deanna from Canada. It was her and her husband's last day in Vegas and I offered to drive them to Mirage, where they'd had success sneaking into their pool (you can tell we're related, eh?). Their secret -- get something with the Mirage logo (like a shopping bag containing your swimming gear) and say you just want to hang out at the patio for a drink. Once you're in, it's only a short hop to the pool.
At a red light driving to Mirage, a cabbie motioned for me to roll down my window.
I thought he was cursing me out for cutting him off or making an illegal U-turn that I do often (the impunity of driving without license plates), but he was pointing to the back of my car. It wasn't with his middle finger, so he seemed to be warning me about something. I still couldn't understand his mumbling, and after asking him to repeat a couple times and still not getting it, I nodded a thank you and rolled up the window.
Deanna said it sounded like he was saying my left rear tire was wobbling.
This set me off on a paranoia that the tire would explode, and there was still a full day of driving to do with the bloggers arriving.
I stressed myself thinking about that tire and warned every passenger that they could end up helping me push the car to the nearest gas station.
The next day, I put the car into the shop. I've experienced tire explosions on the highway before, and I didn't want to experience it again. Plus I needed to get another smog test since my previous one had expired. And I may as well throw in an early oil change too.
I saw a 20+2 multi on Party and jumped in at the last minute. Not as many players as their usual evening and weekend tourneys, but what else was I going to do for a couple hours?
A couple hours later, the garage called and said the car was ready. I was doing well in the multi, but I had to pick up the car before the shop closed unless I wanted to pick it up the next day.
I had 15 minutes.
It would take about 15 minutes to walk there.
I became a maniac and started raising everything. I was WPT TV grubby and went all-in a few hands in a row. Then I would fold a couple. Then all-in again. If I was raised, I would reraise all-in.
With this kind of action, who needs slots and blackjack?
Funny thing is, I won all the pots uncontested. My final hand, I went all-in to a raise behind me. I figured I was dead. I knew I was dead when there was a caller, and the original raiser called. And all were close in chipstack size.
The raiser had QQ. The caller had JJ.
I had A7o.
An Ace flopped and I tripled up, putting me chip leader of the tournament into the third break.
I clicked post and fold and ran to the garage to pick up my car (they didn't find anything wrong with the tire, which did nothing to relieve my paranoia). By the time I returned, I was still leader.
I scrolled back through the chat and saw that they'd called me a bully ("typical aggression moves," based on my screen name, they said), then a bot, then a Party employee, then thought something had happened and I was raising because I had to leave.
Watched a couple orbits while trying to fold fast, hoping they'd think I was still sitting out.
Hit KK and there was a raise and one caller behind me.
Went all-in with that, hoping they'd think I'd returned and reverted back to my maniac ways.
Both called. AQ and AK. Both were knocked out.
The bloggers had swarmed the Castle, and I wanted to meet up with them, but I was in a great position to cash, so decided to play the tournament out.
From here to the end, I muscled my chips around the best I could. Never calling straight out, just putting the decision on the other person. Worked especially well at the bubble, because no one likes going out on the bubble.
People again called me a bully, predicting I would raise at a certain point because that's what bullies do, and soon they'll get me. And that someone said that as soon as he limped in.
I decided to raise all-in at that point (I covered him), thinking he said what he said hoping to stave off a raise all-in by me. I had A9o and he surprisingly called with JQ and hit a Jack. "I told you," he said, Bullies always lose in the end." I rolled my eyes, but realized my table image was now going to be called with lesser hands, so I needed to tighten up and pick my spots better.
A few hands later, the same guy limps. I have QQ and go all-in. He calls with 44.
He doesn't say anything, but someone else says, "Finally you had a hand."
At the final table, I was just average chipstack. There were three shortstacks who had folded to get there, and I tried focusing on just them. If anyone else came in for a raise, I'd fold.
Finally one of the shortstacks raised all-in with AK and I was in the blinds with 9-10 and it was less than a min-raise for me to call. I flopped a 9 and no help for Big Slick.
I then played it like a SnG. I was perfectly happy with any amount won. Playing the tournament was really just a lark while waiting for my car.
Down to two people, I outchipped second place by 3x. He folded often, and as soon as I knew that, I was able to chip away at his stack until he went all-in with QQ. But he'd just called preflop hoping to trap, letting me in for free with 57. And the flop was 10-5-5.
Lucky me.
The $2515 win boosted my account from being close to empty. I still plan to use the rest of it in qualifiers for the WSOP and other tournaments until my account's zero.
After the win, I microwaved a Healthy Choice dinner (with the dessert cherry cobbler to celebrate).
Then headed to the Castle, dined at the cafe (dry-tasting spring rolls) with the bloggers, then returned and entered a NL game, all full of myself.
Excalibur changed their NL to $200 maximum ($100 minimum) and 1/3 blinds, which I like much more than their old $100 min/max and 1/2 blinds.
After seeing a guy take down a pot with J5s, his raise preflop of $15 didn't hold water for me.
That I had A4s still didn't give me a reason to call. One other person called, which I like to justify to myself it made it better. I was also in the BB, so it was "only" another $12 to call. Also bad.
Flop was Ace and rags.
I checked, he bet $35, other guy folded, and I called.
Turn is blank. I check, he checked.
River is a 4, giving me two pair.
I bet out $35. He stews and says, "Why didn't you raise beforehand?" Thinking I had a big Ace.
He calls and tables KK, and I scoop a nice pot. Bad call on his part, as he should've expected I had an Ace. And bad call on my part, since I shouldn't have even been in the hand.
So I'm full of myself again, in addition to being full of White Russians (though the Excalibur cocktail waitresses were awfully slow to take orders at early Saturday 2 a.m.).
The table becomes awfully tight and I pick up a few blinds and limpers with raises, but it really didn't seem worth it.
I'm UTG with AKo and decide to limp in. I can easily get away from it if nothing helps on the flop, plus I wanted more action.
Guy to my left raises. Then MP calls.
I should've re-raised big here, but I called.
Flop was A-3-5.
I come betting out, guy to my left raises, and other guy reraises.
It's $40 more to me, or about 1/6 of my stack.
My instincts told me AK was good here.
And how far have my instincts taken me? Nowhere.
I stupidly raise all-in.
This gets the guy to my left out (he later said he had AJ).
Other guy stands, removes his iPod earbuds and thinks. He says, "What am I afraid of here?"
He had just lost to someone's rivered flush (in these $200 games, people just don't fold on draws, no matter how expensive you make it) and recently rebought for $200 after taking a break and steaming in blackjack (and winning $20, he said). He thinks some more and then calls.
"Got a set?" he says.
Whoops, I think, and shake my head, knowing I'd now need a miracle.
He tables 33 for a flopped set.
I never once thought of this. I thought maybe A3 or A5. But if I thought even that, I was still dead.
Stupid move to go all-in. I think I had residual tournament play in me.
I don't even show my AK. The turn is another 3, adding insult and injury because not only does he get all my money but he gets to spin the wheel too (another $25 for him).
Very next hand, he says he's playing the rush and raises preflop. He gets a few limpers. Flop is similar with an Ace and rags. Guy behind him (the same guy who had J5 and KK) goes all-in for $200.
This time he instantly calls and shows AK. Other guy flopped top two pair and my money moves back across the table to someone else.
Strange play, but it worked.
I tried playing my shortstack $40. If many limpers, I'd go all-in.
Didn't work, and I was out.
I said goodbye to the remaining bloggers knowing I'd see them in a couple hours for the WPBT at Aladdin, then headed home ignoring the temptation to win back the $200 in blackjack.
— —
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
A Boogie Nights experience
The horror script I've been writing (or rather, outlining) is surprisingly similar to High Tension, particularly with regard to The Twist.
Usually I sequester myself from anything remotely similar for fear of subconsciously imitating, but I'd heard good things about High Tension and it looked a throwback to the Texas Chainsaw Massacre style of unforgiving, non-wink-wink, rated R type of horror that we've gotten away from.
I thought I could enjoy it just to see some creative, unmotivated murders. And they're there (the father and the staircase!). But the more it went on, the more uneasy I became. And then when the twist came...
I'm now not sure where to go with my idea -- there are some fundamental differences, but the core of it is the same. I took the idea of denied sexuality and identity in the form of the Jason/Michael model, sort of repressed sexuality as the monster. (In Friday the 13th, Jason would inevitably show up just as the nubile teens were beginning to have sex -- lots of religious subtext in horror flicks). And I also placed it in a secluded house with a family (the scene of that repression).
Which is what I think Alexandre Aja was going for as well, though it's a bit muddled because of gaping plotholes and an unreliable narrator that left the audience and me feeling let down.
Up to that point, it's a thrilling, unrelenting ride that borrows elements of American slasher horror of the '70s and '80s. Popular culture runs in cycles, and I can see a return to that style with this movie (in spite of it being French). Wes Craven tapped Aja to write/direct a remake of The Hills Have Eyes, and I have no doubt Aja will make an even better than Craven's original.
As for my script, I may have to hop onto something else.
§
As part of Vegas' 100th birthday, last Thursday had 100 couples married outside on the Fremont Street Experience, complete with live band and free private screening of Wedding Crashers afterwards at Neonopolis. That explained all the newly minted brides I saw wandering around falling down drunk.
Spent the past few nights downtown at Fitzgerald's. I can pass up free hotel rooms less than I can pass up free food, although they ultimately end up costing me more whenever I do stay at the casino. This visit was no exception; they know me too well.
My free hotels are running out, however, and my only other upcoming free stay is at the end of this month at Silverton. They've just opened a poker room, so I'll check that out for a couple days while seeing the rest of their creepy mermaids.
The stay at Fitz was centered around an invitational party, without the pretense of a tournament (which means they save money). Just get you in the doors to gamble-gamble-gamble, and feed you so you don't leave the premises.
Too bad Fitz decided to choose that weekend to replace their entire slot system. All cards had to be replaced (signified by a shamrock sticker) and all slot machines had to be converted to the new system. Considering the inconvenience this made to many of their players -- the majority of whom are slot players and were invited for the weekend -- they could've postponed the replacement until after we left.
The welcome gift was a bottle of 2004 Chardonnay from Sonoma County (a choice of that or merlot) and Fitz slapped their own wine label on it to make it extra special. You'd have thunk it was Christmas morning the way other slot players were open-mouthed at the quality of the gift. Me, I was ho-humming. It's a bottle of cheap $3.99 wine, people.
It did come with a small wine rack and five small glasses, however, which goes into my prize closet for future Christmas presents.
The dessert reception turned out to be sodas (they had Coke, which is rare among the Pepsi casinos), beer (they had Guinness), and wine (probably the very wine they were giving away) as well as cookies (oatmeal and peanut butter -- no chocolate chip) and brownies. Not my idea of a grand dessert, but a passable snack for a Friday morning.
We were told to wear a nametag which would grant us free beverages at any of the casino bars. But since the reason we emerald players were invited in the first place was because we're gamblers, we'd receive free drinks anyway. Better would've been a free Krispy Kreme doughnut or a free ice cream. Nevertheless, I took full advantage of whatever top shelf alcohol I could spot.
We also received coupons for a free spin on the $1 Wheel of Fortune machines and a free 7-spot play in Keno. I slept most of Saturday and missed the time frame to cash in both.
The "gourmet" dinner turned out to be decent enough, but nowhere near Luxor's sit-down slot tournament meal (which has set the bar high to compare everything against). Organized like a wedding reception, there was a decent band and a line for food (salad, pasta, chicken, pork, roast beef, salmon -- I had it all) and a line for drinks. There was even an ice sculpture of a shamrock, with little swans made out of lime or avocado or some kind of green peel. At our tables were trays with desserts, and I just so happened to sit in front of one.
We were given raffle tickets, and four were called to the stage to pick an envelope. I wasn't called, but the guy to my left was. He won $500. Others won $200, $300, and an emerald necklace.
I calculated my losses up to that point: I would need to win all of those envelopes including the necklace to come out even. When my number wasn't called, I figured I'd make a scene and leave (in other words, sneak out through the restrooms) to cut my losses, but sometimes seeing other people's happy faces at winning gives me a taste of what it might be like to win.
And then I thought, good thing I didn't win, because knowing me, I would throw it all back at slots and blackjack.
What made the evening for me was the green and white helium balloons scattered throughout the ballroom. Some were too close to the heat of the lights, so like the firecracker scene in Boogie Nights, at random intervals one would pop and scare everyone nearby. One popped near the band and one of the guys almost dropped his guitar. I took perverse pleasure in watching people jump. I almost wanted to request the song "Jessie's Girl" to make it a complete Boogie Nights experience.
Though I said I wouldn't, I did play at Fitz (slots). I also played at Golden Gate (blackjack) in between bouts of shrimp cocktails. As well as The Plaza (slots) and Binion's (poker). And I made excursions to Palace Station (slots and blackjack) to pick up my mystery free slotplay ($7) on Friday, my free gift of batteries on Saturday, and my $20 free slotplay on Sunday.
I lost at everything I played. I'm just not cut out for this gambling career.
The casinos' hope is to draw you into their air-conditioned home with these dopey gifts, then get you to play and lose. Which is what I did. I fall for these free offers every time.
I had a passing thought that I could just go buy batteries at the Walgreen's next to Fitz. It would've saved the hassle of fetching the car from the garage and going to Palace. The money I dropped at Palace would've put me in batteries for the rest of the year.
The only thing I won out of my downtown stay was two free 1-liter Cokes. At Walgreen's, I picked up two 20-oz. bottles of Diet Coke with labels that 1 in 6 win a free 1-liter. Both my bottles won.
I can't pick horses, I can't win at gambling, but dammit if I can pick winning bottles.
— —
Thursday, June 09, 2005
Brain cloud poker
Leave it to grubette for a positive interpretation from my dream last week.
I think negatively; grubette thinks positively. I need to change that.
Her interpretation:
I think your dream, on the rooftop, also could have been a positive one instead of an incentive one. As in, you have climbed your way to the peak (Vegas) of where you or anyone else wants to be. The old woman jumps across to another rooftop to take a chance, and she falls and fails. She gets up and slinks back to her old life (DC). You don't take a chance to jump to the next rooftop because the opportunity isn't there yet (pet store vs gap). When it does arrive, you'll take that chance.
If you fail, you may not have made the right choice. But if you succeed, you'll win $350k.
The beginning of the dream, when you are looking for the Gap and get lost, that's more you feeling unsure in Vegas and finding the comfort of something familiar, the Hello Kitty store, where you had good memories.
Isn't grubette the best sister? I don't know where her $350K figure came from, but I'll take it. Thanks, grubette. I'll sleep better now.
§
There ain't no better poker players than poker bloggers. Everyone is such a great group of people that it's a blast just to hang out, whether at the poker table, craps table, blackjack table, bars, restaurants, or Al and Pauly's suite.
When I'd drive from downtown back home, I'd fall asleep on the road. The final day (Monday), I was so dead tired that my mind was blank.
It's three days later and I still have a brain cloud over what exactly transpired.
Hope to correct my lack of sleep this weekend where I leave in a few minutes to check into Fitzgerald's for a few days. I'm there for a dessert reception, free mystery gift, "gourmet" dinner, and a drawing for emeralds... if I win, I'm headed straight to the pawn shop. This is my sticking-it-to-the-Man stay, and I won't be playing at Fitz at all, jeopardizing future free rooms there. Instead I'll be entering poker tournaments at Binion's and feasting on Golden Gate 99-cent shrimp cocktail.
I'm again on detox from online play, trying to stay away as much as I can, and the only way I can do that is by being away from my apartment.
In no particular order, here are highlights from my weekend with the bloggers:
at the Castle, hearing people yell "HAMMER!"
at the Aladdin tourney, seeing people stand up and crowd around a table like someone went all-in, only to find The Hammer was dropped yet again.
the sight of iggy walking from the airport, luggage in hand, wraparound sunglasses on, unlit cigarette dangling from his mouth, grumbling, "I haven't had a cigarette in 12 hours."
hanging out in Al and Pauly's suite at The Plaza. Reminded me of being with my college roommate buddies, just sittin' back on the couch and shootin' the breeze.
talking trash with iggy about the low-rent WSOP tables and light fixtures, even though both of us would love to play in the main event.
dinner at Bobby Flay's MESA Grill at Caesars and watching the servers have a great time every time they came to our table (which was often).
meeting larger-than-life Fat Guy, making me laugh at everything he said.
hearing Otis describe one of the events of his annual Brad-o-ween (that I'll sorely miss while stuck in Erie, Pennsylvania): "First, you take a melon..."
playing a Dealer's Choice game of Omaha Hi/Lo, iggy and I both called. iggy asked, "Why are we calling, grubs?" I repeated an iggy line, "Because bad players call."
dinner at BOA at Caesars. Dessert on the patio, at the request of Mrs. AlCantHang. Victor (our server) approaching our table at dessert saying he had taken the liberty of reserving us The Foundation Room (an exclusive private club at Mandalay Bay) for an evening of dancing.
iggy, Derek, Geek, and me chatting and staying up through morning, not wanting to be the first to fall asleep for fear of getting his picture taken and posted to the web (Geek lost).
walking down the Strip arm-and-arm with Mrs. Al and Poker Chick.
seeing hdouble get upset at the long line at baggage claim, at Rio, and in traffic (it's fun watching HD get pissed).
playing blackjack with LA blogger Mike and both of us doubling up (a rarity for me). Each time we'd win or put out a big bet, we'd put up our hands and say, "Gambooool!" while everyone else at the table was being quietly annoyed.
watching Mike win $10 using the flawed Martingale progression in baccarat by doubling each time he lost. By the time he won $10, he had risked $200.
iggy giving me advice on how to make sunny-side up eggs (make sure the pan is hot).
standing at and playing craps with nothing but bloggers (we all lost... something about hoping for 7s and 2s). Watching The Fat Guy handle his dice effortlessly, like he was flicking mosquitoes.
in the middle of a conversation, Joaquin standing up and singing impromptu karaoke in Spanish that the La Salsa Cantina staff gave him a microphone.
watching a group of people enter the Aladdin poker room wondering what was going on. "Oh," said one as if he'd heard of it before, "it's the World Poker Blogger Tournament."
playing 3/6/9 a couple nights ago at Sunset Station with Pat, floor supervisor of MGM Grand's poker room. I said, "I heard you now spread HORSE." He said, "Oh yeah, there was a big convention in town."
— —
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Jumping across rooftops
I don't usually dream unless I'm stressed out or thinking creatively. Problem is, I never know which is which. When I'm working out story problems, it's usually through dreams or in the shower. I take long showers.
The last dream I remember was a couple nights ago. I found myself back in school living with my family. Whenever I dream of school, it's always that I'm missing classes. This cute girl named Millie comes over carrying grocery store plastic bags filled with peat moss, saying it came from a class project and they had extra, and she thought I could use some. I had remembered her from class (in real life, I've never known a Millie) but we'd never spoken, and she found my house just by asking around. She was also in my 7 p.m. class, and it was currently 6:30. I thought we could walk to class together, but stupid me hadn't showered and I didn't suggest it, instead letting her get away.
And the kicker of the dream -- I didn't shower anyway and on the way to class stopped to play a blackjack slot machine, feeding it hundred after hundred, losing the entire time, and never made it to class.
Freakin' slots. I can't even get away from them in my dreams.
Unfortunately, losing hundreds on a slot machine was more of a reality for me than meeting a girl named Millie.
Though for the record, I would never stand up a girl for gambling.
Okay, so here's the dream from last night...
I'm upstairs in the Gap offices in some sort of self-help seminar where everyone is standing. We each brought pillows that we stored on shelves behind us. It's freezing cold, and I'm in shorts and shivering, using the pillows for warmth. A woman stands next to me, her pillow rubbing up against my legs, and I feel something icy. On her pillow is frozen drool. This disgusts me and I uncomfortably excuse myself and go to the corner for awhile, then exit downstairs.
I walk to a store kitty-cornered from the Gap and say goodbye to a friend who's leaving town, though he couldn't actually say goodbye because he was talking on his cell.
It's 8 o'clock -- closing time of the Gap -- so I had to get back to pick up my pillows. But because I'm never sure exactly what kitty-cornered means (and I never know whether it's kitty-cornered or catty-cornered), I get lost and end up in another store -- coincidentally, a Hello Kitty store.
Frustrated (this happened more than once), I climb the side of the building to the rooftop in order to get a better vantage point of where I am.
On the roof, I see that the building across the street has statues of large cats in gargoyle poses. I consider jumping to get to the other side, but I don't because that store below sells pet toys, which was not the Gap.
I hear an argument from two women, and on the roof of another building, I see a gray-haired woman in her 70s. She says, "I think I can do it" and jumps from rooftop to rooftop.
It's a sight to behold. The woman in the natty nightgown clears the entire city street, moving her legs in midair like she's bicycling, and makes it to the roof on the other side.
Almost.
She misses it by that much and begins sliding.
The other woman yells out, "Nana!"
This happens fast. Nana slides down the building, and I see a closeup of her fingers as she tries to grasp the gutter, but her momentum is too fast and she can't hold on.
And down she goes to splat in the street.
There's a sickening silence, and I peer over my roof to see a sprawled Nana on the ground, convulsing like in a seizure or a cockroach that's been flipped.
Then she stops, stands up slowly, checks her legs, and walks off like nothing happened.
The End.
There's something vaguely Freudian going on with the woman's pillows and frozen saliva. Or it could simply have been my surroundings: I was staying at the hotel, shivering in bed because I'd set the air conditioner to 63 degrees (the lowest it would go). I was snuggling against all the pillows, constantly feeling like bugs were crawling on me.
And what's with the cat references? The Hello Kitty store I can attribute to a lawyer-dancer I dated who threw a Hello Kitty-themed birthday party for a friend of hers. We were eating dinner at a tapas restaurant, and from out of her coat she withdrew a giant Valentine's Day Hello Kitty stuffed animal keychain as a present for me. I was touched.
Overall, I'm thinking the dream is telling me to carpe diem -- jump, take a chance. Busta move.
If I were still back in DC, this would make sense. But I've already made that jump by moving to Vegas. I frequently feel this was the wrong move and I'm failing (the cause of the stress), at least financially.
Perhaps there's another jump I need to make. Across another rooftop.
§
Spent Monday and Tuesday nights at The Orleans. I'd been to the casino many times before, but it was my first time staying there. It's a nice one, with large attractive rooms overlooking the pool, close to the elevator, and quiet. There's even a patio that you can't enter (too many people would jump, I assume), but the small bathroom window opens onto it (so if you brought a pet or infant, they could jump). If I were able to, I'd live in a casino-hotel. Even downtown casinos. I'd change it up every week or so, just for variety. There's just something about the atmosphere and being able to roll into bed at 4 a.m. without having to drive home. Or knowing you can pop upstairs to take a quick nap. Or shower. Or shit.
The weekend after next I'll be at Fitzgerald's, which I'm greatly looking forward to. Not because Fitz is the greatest hotel downtown (though it's better than many), but because I'll be able to play Binion's tournaments every day. And with WSOP in full swing, I suspect it and every other cardroom will be packed.
I'm burning bridges with the casinos, though. The more free rooms I take advantage of without giving back any play, the less offers I'll receive. My offers have already slowed because I'm now a local, so I'm making them pay by taking up space in their hotel. My revenge.
On Monday, I arrived too late for the 7 p.m. tournament, so I got in a 10/20. It was a profitable game... for my opponents. Lost about $200 after a few hours. Worse, had a just-okay burger at Terrible Mike's. You can add your own fixin's, and I piled my cheeseburger with tomatoes.
Got back to the room at 5 a.m. and slept off and on. I'd planned to catch a matinee of Star Wars because The Orleans was showing it digitally, but I missed it. It wasn't a big priority, because I can always come back.
I also missed the $100K tournament at Imperial Palace. It was a $500 buy-in with no rake. Had I known about it, I would have played. That's what I get for not keeping up with poker news and being WSOP-centric.
Instead I played The Orleans' insane rebuy tournament at 7 p.m. Buy-in was $40 (plus $5 for the dealers and T75 extra chips) and a meager T200 chips. Blinds began at 10/15.
I didn't expect the multiple rebuys; I'd thought there was only one. Having multiple rebuys made it like the crazy LA games: if you went all-in during the rebuy period, you were almost assured of getting at least one caller. Because in this first hour, everyone needs to build chips fast.
They had a record 184 people play in the Tuesday tournament. Over 500 rebuys (T300 extra chips each; double rebuys were common), and one table had over 50 rebuys! 1-15 paid, with 11-15 getting $300. First paid about $4100.
If I busted out, I hoped to bust out by 9:35 p.m., the last showing of the digital Star Wars.
I played my regular game, which isn't loose all-ins and massive rebuys to build chips. After the rebuy period, things went back to normal and I felt better about my hands.
Had one beat that was hard to recover from. I raised all-in from the button with 10-10. One guy called me with 23s (I more than covered him; he was about to be blinded out, but surely had he waited two more hands he could've run into a hand better than 23s?).
Flop gave me a 10 but also two of his suit. And the turn gave him the flush. If there was any justice, the river would've paired the board, but that involves luck, and I'm not familiar with that.
If you listen to someone who hasn't cashed big (yet), the main problem I see is people don't play their hands aggressively enough (or they play them too aggressively too often... selective aggression is key). Particularly close to the bubble. Down to three tables, one guy was BB with AA and four limpers to him. It ended up working out for him, since no one believed him, but with four limpers, playing with AA (or any pair really) in the BB is an automatic raise all-in. At least for me. The more people who see the flop -- particularly the more shortstacks who see the flop -- the less chance AA will be holding up.
At a couple of my tables was a woman wearing sunglasses who had the breasts and body of a 20-year-old (the woman, not the sunglasses), but her hands betrayed her true age of at least 60. She played horribly and kept getting lucky. One hand she limped with A-10, and a tight guy raised 3x the blinds. She checked the flop of J-9-5, the guy went all-in, and she called. He showed KK. She rivered an Ace. Hell of a call.
This put her in chip leader position, but she didn't do anything to retain that. When a new player sat down to her right mentioned how many chips she had, she said it was her first tournament. Max, a regular player to my left, said after the KK hand, "That's why I hate playing with women. They call anything." Well, sexist comments aren't unheard of at the poker table. But it was really more said out of empathy for the KK guy. If you're going to make a comment like that, at least make it funny.
Another hand, faux busty woman limped with three others after her and a shortstack all-in. The flop was A-Q-5 and she bets out T3000 (blinds were 500/1000), causing the others to fold. She showed 5-5, surely a poorly played hand because she could've easily gotten more chips post-flop.
Down to the final two tables, we were hand-for-hand. Down to 16 people, the other table wanted to shave $100 from first place and give it to 16th. The one protestor was at our table, who looked to be all-in on the next hand, saying what's he going to do with $100.
Play continued (someone else busted at 16th) and once we were all in the money, people kept going all-in (including me) and either didn't get callers or got a call from the chip leader and doubled-up.
There's a certain clarity that I feel once in the money. It's a protection that you'll get paid no matter what, but also reads on people that hopefully now pay off. And in return, hopefully people have been watching my play the whole time and respect my raises.
We were trying to get people out, but they were surviving. At this point, the antes were T500 and blinds 1500/3000. Our table didn't have many chips, and it became luck of the shortstacks.
One hand had three people all-in with K10, K10, and 9-5. On the flop was a 5. And the K10 people split the pot when the river gave them straights.
Another hand had two people all-in with A-10, A-7, and the chip leader who called with QQ. An Ace on the turn, and the Aces split.
Every time we were hopeful of knocking a couple people out, they'd stay.
We were down to 12 people, and I had T9500 left -- with the blinds, it would last two rounds. I survived previous rounds with uncalled all-ins (including a 56s bluff), and a chip leader call that didn't hold up. I look down and see AJo on the button. As I prepare to raise all-in, the faux busty woman UTG does the deed.
I look at her and recall the terrible hands she'd played. She'd also complained about not getting a break because she'd drunk three bottles of water. She said this twice, in case no one was listening. I could only stare at her fake boobs.
If I'd known 12th place at the other table had just gotten knocked out, I would have folded to get into 10th (another $135). Eh, who am I kidding. I would've thought about folding. AJo is a huge hand shorthanded, particularly when it was faux busty woman who raised. And even if I won this and doubled up, I would still be under 10x blinds. As it was I'd be blinded out in two rounds. The worst thing for me is to go out with a whimper, and I'd rather take a stand.
I had no choice but to call.
She flips AA. My side of the table cheers me on as it looks like I can get a gutshot straight on the river.
Ah, but that involves luck. I'm out in 11th and split my tip among the dealers and the floor.
Five and a half hours, sheesh. I'm happy for the win, but wish I could've lasted longer. Still, I felt I played as well as I could, particularly after getting down to the final four tables. I almost had more excitement from the $5 bounties each time I knocked someone out (three people).
At least it was after midnight, time enough for the graveyard special at the cafe, which I rewarded myself with a 7 oz. steak, two eggs, hash browns, and toast -- all for $2.95. Beat that, Denny's!