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Thursday, September 29, 2005

Death by Two Outs

The hotel with the two trees offers a free tin of chocolate chip cookies. Mmm... cookies.

Just fill out your address, fake phone number, and fake business info at this link. No email required.

In other hotel freebie news, the one with the vacation in their name offers a free iTunes song here.

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I've been pretty down lately. Poker results haven't been up to par, and soon I'll be laying off poker for a long while to look for a (gasp) real job. Not because I want to. Because I have to.

There are some key concepts I'm missing in no-limit; mainly, I need to play like I'm playing a tournament and the chips are just chips. I'm rarely able to pull people off a hand if they hold top pair. This is what I want if I have a better kicker, but it doesn't work when their kicker pairs or they get their two-outer. That will be the name of my novel (or epitaph), I'm sure -- Death by Two Outs.

But bluffing with a semi-bluff successfully? I do it in limit all the time, but back away in no-limit. And that's the game people are more likely to drop just a pair. Or so you would think.

I was taking it easy Saturday, piddling around poker online (Aces cracked three times in NL ring and SnGs), and kept looking at the clock. Nine p.m. was the closing time to pick up my free gift of a 10-inch crystal vase, but with gas prices and lack of showering, I haven't been bothering to pick up these things. For me, avoiding freebies is probably the first sign of depression. I've missed out on a 4-piece condiment set (red, yellow, orange, and green tomato ceramic thingamabobs), a wooden jewelry case, and a 10-piece pizza party kit -- things I would never buy in the first place, but things that are good as decoration or closet filler or a satisfying breaking sound when hurled from a rooftop.

Carla and I are now traversing poker rooms every weekend, and I figured I'd take this past weekend off. But she called from Harrah's saying, "Get down here. Now."

Sounded like a good game, but then, where isn't there a good game in Vegas on a Saturday night?

I showered and arrived at Harrah's to see Carla and another guy chip leaders at about $500 apiece.

I bought in, sat down, and buckled up.

In one orbit, I quickly sized up the bad players -- namely, the ones who played every hand even to raises. Which was about half the table.

Someone raises early and I see pocket Aces.

Ugh. I've been burned so many times with Aces, that I'm just not happy to play them.

But play them I do, and I reraise by splashing out chips from my stack to make it look aggressive. The intent is to isolate and to get him to raise all-in. Because with Aces, I want him all-in, right? Right?

Both of which happen, and I call since I cover him.

He's all-in and shows JJ.

The flop is 9-9-7 with two s.

I squint to see if his Jack is a , then I relax when I see I have the Ace of s.

Turn is 10.

And as sure as I can feel the blackjack dealer showing a 5, flipping a 10, and drawing a 6, like Patricia Arquette in "Medium," I could almost sense what the next card would be.

River is 8.

I don't always lose with AA. Just the big pots. In the grand scheme of things, I don't believe in luck. It's just odds and math.

But man, these past couple weeks I've had such similar beats that I'm starting to believe there really is such a thing as luck.

Cases in point: QQ, 88, 10-8, AQ, 10-10 (twice), A-10, KQ, and A3.

These hands cracked my AA online between Sept. 20 and 25, all of them all-in preflop in NL ring and SnGs. (Limit, and I wouldn't be whining.)

During that same period, here are the hands that cracked pocket Kings: 58, AQ (flush), A8 (flush), and 57s. I do tend to win more with KK than AA.

The goofy hands are usually bluffs by others that pan out. Frequently in early rounds of SnGs you encounter people raising all-in to capture limpers and blinds. I fear getting AA or KK at these moments, because I call and put my fate in Party's hands. And unless nearing the money in a big tournament with a few people all-in, is it ever correct to laydown Aces preflop?

I can read all the books in the world, become the most skilled player, and rub Buddha's belly until it's stinky, but how can I get around this?

And you'd think I'd learn about this luck thing, after losing constantly and consistently in blackjack and slots. How can a 92-year-old win Megabucks twice? How can a French family win the French lottery twice with the same numbers? How can a woman win the New Jersey lottery twice in four months?

Of course some people are luckier than others. Of course when considering a tiny house advantage that will bankrupt the wealthiest person, luck is needed in the short-term.

And of course poker contains luck.

I replayed this hand in my head, thinking if I'd smooth-called and pushed on the flop, would he have called? (With the rag flop, he probably would've gone all-in before me.) I see people slowplay Aces successfully and wonder how they did it, how much they risked by letting a flop show. Unless up against very good players, I don't see how this can be profitable in the long run.

A couple hands later I raise 5x BB with AQ, hoping people would think I'm tilting. And they must have believed it, because three called.

Flop is rags and I toss out $25, which gets everyone to fold. Guy next to me says, "I hope you have a pair." I lie that I had pocket 10s and he seems comforted.

A couple hours later I limp $2 with 7 8.

Six people are in, then the Button raises to $10.

Thinking implied odds, I call along with everyone else. Rarely was anyone folding once they had any money in the pot.

This was one of the bad players (though he switched his play later on to very tight and he slowplayed pocket Aces, so he wasn't as bad as I thought), who played every hand and got lucky. He had $600 in front of him.

The flop is rags but two s.

It's checked to the raiser, and he checks.

Turn is J.

Again it's checked to him, and he makes a shrug with his hand like, "eh, might as well bet," and threw in $20. Whenever I see this from other people, it means a big hand. I read him as flopping something huge and put him on a slowplayed set, or an overpair. No straight possibility.

I'm preparing to raise, when Carla in the SB raises to $40.

This put me in a dilemma, because I expected to be heads-up against the guy. I also flashbacked to a similar hand at MGM a couple weeks ago -- everyone limped to see three s flop, I had 4 5. SB bets $20, Carla raises to $40, and I push all-in to get Carla out (who said she flopped a straight). SB eagerly called with K 10 and I rebought within the first 5 minutes of sitting down.

I had no idea what Carla had, but I now put her on a set and the guy on high pockets with a high .

The play should've been to move all-in to get Carla out, but the guy had been calling everyone and would've called. Plus I wanted to see if he would bet for me and raise all-in. And, if the river paired the board or if the river gave a higher , I was out of the hand.

I called.

The guy called.

River is a rag, no .

Now I know I'm good and am eyeing the pot, wondering how much more I can extract from the guy.

Unexpectedly, Carla bets $100.

I have $102 left and am all-in. The guy calls too.

Carla shows JJ for a set on the turn (Jacks would be her nemesis for the rest of the night, as she'd get them six times and lose each time). She said she didn't see the third out there.

The guy shows Q 6 and rakes a big pot.

I rebuy.

The guy smooth-calling Carla's turn raise made me think he didn't raise preflop with AQ or KQ or overcards of s.

But really, I should've paid attention to Carla's raise and river bet as a higher flush. I was blinded by my focus on the guy, thinking I had him and disregarded what she could've had. That would've at least gotten me out of the hand on the river and saved me $102.

§

On Sunday, Carla and I played the crapshoot NL tourney at Fiesta Rancho -- crapshoot because it's T1000 chips, T25/50 blinds, and 15-minute rounds.

What makes this structure bad is the fast blinds, low starting stack, and minimum denomination T25 -- all designed to get you out in a couple hours so they can have their bar back. This is the same problem with live SnGs, which are cropping up all over the place with the same bad crapshoot structure that makes Party's T1000 starting stack (and T10/15 starting blinds) a dream.

But I'll play this tourney every month because it's a $50 buy-in, there's no juice, and first prize is a guaranteed $3000 (second is $1500, third is $500). What's more, the top 10 people from each of these monthly tourneys return in December to compete for a free seat into the WSOP.

Because of football (I'm still not used to games starting earlier on the West Coast), only 88 people showed, so the casino lost $600 plus gift certificates and freeplays for 4th-10th. Very rare to see any live tourney with an overlay. And any time the casino loses, I'm happy. (Which is why I need to pick up more of these free gifts, debbiedimmit.)

Within the first orbit, three people were knocked out.

I then found myself in the SB with AQo and six limpers. I raised, the BB and one other called.

Flop is A-4-4.

I'll spare you the rest of the hand, except to say the BB had A-4 and I dropped down to T50.

Two chips and a chair, I thought, and I looked over to see Carla still in.

The next hands I played, I won:

A 7. All-in for my puny T50 (which was just a call). Flop an Ace, and it's good despite others checking it down.

JQo. I call from LP, flop a Jack, and push. Take it down.

AA. Someone raises with 10-10, I push, he calls, and I'm shocked that AA holds up.

My chipstack builds back to T1000 and our table breaks right when I get the button.

Carla's busted at this point, and I'm moved to her seat, right in the SB of T100.

It's down to 30-some people, and I'm waiting to make a move whenever it isn't raised preflop. It's all-in or fold time.

I don't find a place and push early with AQo.

Alas, KK calls and I'm out. A King flops to rub it in.

I find this happening a lot in SnGs -- I get very aggressive when it gets shorthanded and consequently get many 4th-place finishes.

A friend called for advice, saying he's cashed in his last seven 100+9 SnGs, but many of them 3rd places. I think what he might be doing is playing too tight toward the end, hoping to cash before making moves. Me, I'm shooting to grab enough chips on the bubble to catapult me to an easy 1st or 2nd win, but the downside of this is I'm getting the dreaded 4th when people call (a few times I've made position moves with pure bluffs, only to run into AA or KK or QQ -- and hey, why can't I draw out on someone?).

Cashing seven times in a row is mighty good, though, and my advice to my friend is to keep doing what he's doing. Third and cashing 2x your buy-in is better than fourth and losing your whole buy-in, after all.

After the tourney, Carla and I sat in the only poker table they had running at Fiesta -- a 2/4 game next to the blackjack tables.

And though it reminded me why I don't like playing limit, I'm thinking I'll have to return to limit because NL is very costly indeed.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Hurricane Alyssa

The latest celebrity to join in the Hurricane photo op publicity is Alyssa Milano, whose washed-up career is drier than New Orleans. She'll be handing out "Charmed" debit cards with her TVography and has learned from Sean Penn not to bring her own personal photographer, but I'll lay you 4:1 that she'll be sporting the Hurricane uniform -- dirty overalls, floppy hat, sensible boots -- all designed to make her look like she's hunkerin' down for some major cleanup and Katrina ass-kickin'.

Bitterness aside, I'd planned to give all profits earned from a recent visit to the Hilton poker room to the American Red Cross' Hurricane relief fund.

Carla calls and we head to Hilton.

I joke that she missed the statue of Paris Hilton in the lobby. I tell her I rubbed Ms. Hilton's belly for luck.

Appreciating irony, I'd hoped to first visit the new room at Paris, then Hilton.

But instead, like many others, we settle at Hilton.

They have three 1/2 NL games ($100 min/$300 max) going, but our table is never full from the time I sit down at six players to the time I leave at five players (when the table breaks).

Never see a better pair than JJ, which I let go when 1,238 overcards flop.

Beat by a runner set, a runner 4-card flush, a runner two pair, and a runner trips. Hands that beat me include J4o, 95, and 74. Those who win distribute my chips to other players.

The game is good, the luck is not.

All were the typical limit-ish hands where I bet and am just call-call-called. It doesn't seem to matter whether I was throwing out pot-sized bets or pushing all-in.

And if that's the case, this is different from limit how?

Rather than go into those hands, here are the ones I felt I misplayed:


Hand #1:

K7o in the unraised BB.

7-5-2 (rainbow) on the flop.

I bet out $15, not wanting to string along any straight draws.

New guy UTG raises to $45.

Fold or call?

I call.

Turn is x. I check, he bets $50.

Fold or call?

I call.

Turn is 5. I check, he bets $50.

I call. He shows J-5 and takes it.

A misplay here that turned me into a calling station. I should've dropped it on the flop raise.


Hand #2:

AKs, I limp early planning to reraise. It's raised $10. One caller. I reraise all-in my shortstack of $55. The raiser folds. The caller -- who's been calling all night long and has been hitting all night long -- calls.

He shows A2o.

Flop is three rag s. Turn is x. River is 2.

His Ace isn't even a and his 2 is good.

I muck. The raiser says he wants to see my cards. At some rooms, they've modified the rule that only players calling can request to see, but if both those players are colluding, what's the point of the rule?

The raiser had every right to see what I reraised all-in with. Which is why I took great satisfaction in the A2o guy telling him he didn't want to see my cards.

My play here should have been to see a flop and drop. I knew the entire night that the guy who called every raise would also call my all-in preflop, especially when he had $1000 and lots of gamble in front of him.


Hand #3:

Q9s, I limp. Many callers.

Flop is Q-9-x.

I check intending to check-raise the guy who's been betting every time, but it's checked through. Oops.

Turn is x.

I bet $25, one caller.

River is 10.

I bet $25, am raised to $125, and I fold.

Missed a bet.


$900 lost, four buy-ins at a time ($200/$200/$200/$300).

Sorry, Katrina.

If you see Alyssa, tell her I could use one of those debit cards.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Ho no mo'

PokerRoom already has another reload bonus of 10 percent (up to $100) using the code MADNESS (expires Sept. 30).

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Get 10 percent (up to $25) off your next purchase at eBay when using PayPal. Use code CELEBRATE. Expires Sept. 28.

I was going to purchase a TV B-Gone keychain so I could walk through casino sportsbooks and snap off TVs at pivotal moments, but then I thought that I kinda like having all my fingers.

§

The Megabucks finally hit last Thursday for $21,147,947 and reset to a paltry $10 million. It had been statistically waiting to blow in Nevada, as the last time it hit was in October (The Palms, home of the first hotel suite with a basketball court, for $13.6 million). The highest it's ever been was when some lucky 25-year-old took it down at Excalibur in March 2003 for $39.7 million.

This time, the winner was a 92-year-old poker player at the Cannery, who coincidentally also won it 16 years ago for $5 million. Greedy local bastid. Megabucks is rigged!

§

Paid my last respects to the Ho yesterday.

Parked in the back with the motels, a power-hungry security guard, and a view of the Circus Circus tent.

Gobbled down the whole 3/4-pound megadog + drink for $2.49 along with a strawberry shortcake (gigantic strawberries) for $1.49.

Registered for a new player's card.

Asked the hosts about their plans in November, they said job fairs, I said good luck.

Played Silver Strike slots for the souvenir .999 fine silver coins (spent $30 to get two).

Sat in the lounge and joined in the applause for their afternoon lounge act.

Walked past a bank of slots cordoned off with players mashing that button for a luau-themed slot tournament, first prize $500.

Congratulated a woman who hit triple 777s for a progressive of $2500.

Rented the classic Corvette Summer (now on DVD), where the Ho is clearly seen in the background. And so are Annie Potts' boobs in silhouette of this PG movie.

Bye-bye, Ho.

§

Never slowplay Aces, except...

The Orleans tourney. Last weekend. Four tables remain. Top 15 get paid.

I just move to a new table and am shortest stack. Antes are T50, blinds T200/400.

Fold fold fold to me in the SB.

I push with AQo.

BB thinks and thinks, counts down to see that he has 2x my stack (and is 2nd shortest stack at the table), then finally folds. Says he had A10. I'm happy, knowing my luck he'd hit a straight.

Another orbit of fold fold fold.

Now I have T2800, or 8x the BB. Whenever I get under 10x the BB, my typical play is all-in or fold. Usually with any Ace or any pair. Always when I'm first to act. The reason is 10x BB is still significant enough for other people to fold to. Less than that and the big stacks will call with lesser hands.

It's folded to me, again in the SB. I look to see AA.

An easy all-in...

But I don't. Any other two cards in that position or on the Button, I'm all-in. But with Aces, I figure it's worth the risk at slowplaying, because winning the pot would only win T1100. Even with that win, I'd still be short stack.

I decide to call, hoping to check-raise all-in.

He just calls.

Flop is 4-5-10 (rainbow).

I bet T1000, hoping he raises.

He does, I call my remaining T1800.

He flips 9-4.

You know what happens next -- river gives him a 4 and I'm out.

I've thought hard about this play, and if the same situation came up, I'd do it again. The whole goal is to maximize a win, not just grab up a pot. I needed to double-up a couple times to be in contention with the rest of the table. Had I taken the pot at the start, I would've been at T4000, which was still 10x the BB and I'd still have to make a couple lucky steals.

So I don't feel at all bad about having Aces cracked here. Though wait'll the next post when I rant about all the other times AA tumble.

Friday, September 16, 2005

Flophouse dreams

If you didn't take advantage of the previous offer, River Belle is now offering a free $25 signup bonus with no deposit required. There's a small 10x playthrough required (must wager $250 before cashing out), which is lower than most casino bonuses.

If I were doing this, I'd bet the whole thing on one hand of blackjack, roulette, or baccarat. If I lost, I'd leave and never come back. If I won, I'd play out the remaining $225 on 225 hands of $1/bet autoplay in Vegas Strip blackjack, make a deposit of $20 (which is required, according to their terms and conditions), then withdraw the whole thing.

If doing just the $25 on $1/hand autoplay, the EV is 24.0985 and SD is 18.025, so two-thirds of the time you can expect your final result to be between $6.07 and $42.12.

Keep in mind the heavy swings in blackjack, though, even at $1/hand.

But hey, free money's free money -- take a risk and play it out at $5 hands!

§

I haven't been getting much sleep lately, frequently having acid-like dreams of clawing away at the back of my hands through flesh, blood, and bone.

Had another one of my apocalyptic dreams last night, I think spurred on by Hurricane Katrina, the 9/11 anniversary, a screenplay that I can never seem to finish, the MGM and Harrah's evil empires, the sale of Westward Ho (turning into condos), Red Bull, and losing my no-limit ass at Hilton and Binion's the past week (it's been so bad, I haven't played live poker since Binion's last Saturday and have holed up in the grub flophouse, not showering or shaving).

In this dream, I'm in Vegas vacationing with family at the Venetian.

An earthquake has hit somewhere in Middle America and somehow the earth is separating and spreading to Nevada. Fast. We think terrorists, but it's apparently a natural disaster.

On the TV, they show a graphic representation of what will happen to the entire Strip. The faultline runs straight down Las Vegas Blvd., and the little animations show all the megaresort casinos tumbling (that I think they Photoshopped from imploding casino images).

For some reason, the little casinos and little hotels are spared.

Then the TV goes static, and we file out of the Venetian.

From the distance, over the mountains, we see huge chunks of asteroids coming our way (whoever said dreams were logical?). We duck and try to take cover behind some benches, but it's too late.

Then I wake up before feeling the impact.

Thankfully, I didn't wet the bed.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Dreaming of Bobbit poker

If you're in NYC tomorrow, Ron and Fez are kicking off their move to XM Satellite Radio with a happy hour at the BB King Blues Club (237 West 42nd Street, Times Square) from 5:30 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Open bar!

Guaranteed to be a good time. I looked into airfare for a quick trip, but I just can't do it.

On Monday, Ron and Fez start on XM 202 at 11 a.m. EST (right after Opie and Anthony). If there's a reason to get XM, this is it. You don't even need to get a receiver, you can subscribe online.

My favorite radio personalities of all time, R&F are singlehandedly (duohandedly?) keeping my spirits up during another cold streak on the online tables. (Someone smack me the next time I talk about chasing reload bonuses again.)

§

Feel like playing online slots but don't want to put up money of your own? Try Jackpot City. They'll deposit $25 into your account, no deposit required.

I don't know if they still allow it, but when signing up you can select your currency as pounds, which at a 1.8388 conversion, would make it a free $45.95.

The catch is that in order to cash out, you need to playthrough in slots (no blackjack or other games) at 10x, or $250. On slots, this is near impossible without hitting a big win or two. I would recommend going for the progressive slots -- particularly King Cashalot, which is over $1 million. Or go for one of the bonus slots and hope you hit the free spin bonus.

(Normally I'd recommend putting the whole $25 down on one bet in baccarat, blackjack, or roulette. Then doubling-down again. But even with $100, a $250 playthrough will make you go broke in slots.)

Zodiac Casino and Virtual City Casino will also give you money to play with. Each is only $10 with a steeper 15x playthrough. You'll definitely see that $10 go -- for this one, try two $4.50 pulls in a bonus slot. You never know, you may get lucky and hit the bonus round, which is usually good for at least $100.

§

Finished an ultra-slow PokerRoom $200 reload. Wanted to do it sooner than later, because they're prepping to modify their player points to make it more difficult to clear the bonus in low-limits.

Then hopped to Party's $150 reload, which went fast at 7x and only two tables. Did it in 3/6 and 100NL 6max and lost my ass.

(An aside: played a WSOP circuit satellite on Monday and sat next to a woman who said she had AKo tattooed on her ass... she showed me, and sure enough, there it was on her lower back... when I had AK and had to fold to her, I amused myself by saying, "I had your ass.")

Still, what I'm down at Party is nothing compared to over £2 billion (that's about $4.4 billion to us Yankees) that PartyGaming lost on the London Stock Exchange a couple days ago. That values it at less than its flotation price just a few months prior. Why is it that I see a 37 percent drop and think buy buy buy?

I'm halfway through Empire at 50NL. As some people on BonusWhores pointed out, nickel rakes aren't being counted. It seemed to me sometimes they were and sometimes they weren't. But they've definitely changed the rules on this one.

Because of my sad end result even after the bonuses, I don't plan to do any of Multi's reloads.

§

Tuesday was the last day of a sale on Diet Coke ($2.50 per 12-pack) at Smith's. Using a newspaper coupon would make it an even better bargain at $2 each! Limit of 4.

I was at Sunset checking on my tournament time and table/seat for the big freeroll this Saturday, and planned to go directly to the store, but I had neither the coupon nor the club card on me, so I had to go home first and then back to the store.

They didn't have any lines open with real live people; just the self-serve aisles. Normally I like these touch screens because it gives me a chance to talk back at the machine and insert exact change, ridding me of all my dollar bills and pennies. Unfortunately, I was short by one penny and my change was 49 cents, filling up my pocket with coins again. The change, by the way, was given by the live cashier who stands watch to make sure no one attempts to sneak through a small item unscanned.

After some pricing confusion and constant messages to notify the cashier (I suspect the cashier rigs these on purpose to keep her job), I finally made it out to the car.

Only to realize I forgot to give the coupon, shorting myself of $2.

I was more irritated at losing $2 in coupon savings than I was at losing $1300 on Sunday.

§

After the Sahara loss the previous weekend, I had painstakingly rebuilt my bankroll to make up the $1000 that I'd lost in two hours.

Then grubette and Doug flew in for a Vegas fix, and despite playing the -EV games (blackjack and slots), I found myself still doing well and adding cash to my wallet each day they were here. I had enough that I was planning to deposit a few hundred into my checking account.

And then Sunday came.

It began oh-so-innocently on a dark and air-conditioned late afternoon.

I was staying at Silverton and had salvaged $300 of the $450 freeplay they'd given me after 1x playthrough. Wanting to go through it as fast as possible, I'd picked a bank of Mr. Cashman slots, deposited $50 into each, and played $1.25 per spin.

Went to Harrah's to sweat grubette in the 11 a.m. tourney. We'd played it on Saturday and both busted within the second hour (later at 8 p.m., we played a $50+10 SnG and also busted early). It's actually one of the better low-limit tournaments in Vegas, with a $40 buy-in for T1500 chips (one optional $40 rebuy for T1500), 20 minute rounds and blinds beginning T25/50. The only drawback is inexperienced dealers and a maximum of nine tables (with alternates, it caps out at about 120 people). Harrah's now joins my other favorite tourneys to play: Sahara, The Orleans, The Plaza, Binion's, and Golden Nugget. Tourneys not to play: Luxor, Mandalay Bay, Circus Circus.

The 1/2 NL cash game at Harrah's is even better, with a good mix of locals and tourists. There's something to be said for playing in a casino that has no jackpot drop and no comps per hour -- less locals to be found. That's where I sat while waiting for grubette.

Guy to my left was passed out asleep. They had to wake him so he'd move a little bit when I sat down. He'd come to, look at his cards, then pass out again.

Guy to my right kept coloring up racks for black chips. He had $2500 in front of him, that he said was going to be advance payment for his student loan.

I was in a perfect position, because if he raised, I folded. If he limped, it would be a cheap flop. If he folded, I could play normally.

Once the sleepy guy awoke, his playing became extremely aggressive. Play resumed normally once he busted.

Made a really dopey play that I'm embarrassed to admit especially since I had done so well the previous night. But this blog is all about honesty, so here's the hand.

I have K 10 in MP and UTG (who liked to bluff) raises $10. That seemed to be the typical raise, as not many flops were being seen for cheap.

A couple people called, and I threw in my two reds to see a flop of two s with a Jack.

UTG bets $55, which drops everyone but me. A really good bet, one that gave me no odds.

I only have two options at this point: fold and fold.

Or raise all-in. He had about $60 left and if I'm going for my draw, I could make a play and hope he would fold AQ or a pair under a Jack. (Though I've played many people where I have that pair of Jacks and push here or the turn, only to find them calling with AK or AQ -- and hitting.)

But I should fold.

Instead, I call.

Turn gives me more outs with a double-gut straight draw.

He bets the rest of his stack, minus his $1 chips.

Now the pot was big enough that it warranted a call. Let's forget for the moment that it was big enough because half of it contained my chips.

I call.

River gives a harmless deuce of nothing.

He throws in $4 more and with my King high, I call just to see his cards. He has pocket 10s and I don't show my hand.

Just an abominable play by me, one that I rarely make these days.

Afterwards, I try to make up for it by playing better:

I raise preflop with KQs and toss out a big bet on the Ace-high flop with none of my suit and end up taking it. As the flop cards fall, I consciously look at my chipstack, hoping my heads-up caller notices.

I set a trap with AA by making a risky limp from UTG, but no one falls for it. Luckily I take the pot on the flop.

When the paired flop is checked and someone bets the turn, I check-raise with nothing and take it.

With five limpers, I raise 5x from the BB and steal.

I fold a flopped top two pair to the chip leader's check-raise of $300. I'd noticed he rarely made a move like that unless he had it. Besides, it was too expensive a call anyway. I fold and he shows his flopped straight. I tell him I was on a draw.

It was such a good table (as were the two tables and 10 hours I'd played Saturday night) that I knew I could at least double up against the big stack, but I had to go.

I jokingly ask to lock the seat for four hours and color up, down $102.

Meet up with grubette and Doug and head to Hard Rock. No poker at Hard Rock yet. I drop $200 in blackjack. The first $100 is at a table where two guys warn me not to sit down. I do anyway and they give me 3 minutes. I last 5 before leaving to another table where I recover and then some, then lose it all on a bad run.

grubette plays craps and loses as much as she did for the whole Thursday-Saturday weekend. Doug keeps his winnings intact and stays steady playing Super Jackpot Party.

Adding to our dismal bankroll and mood, we had to pass through all the good-looking 21-year-old bathing-suited hardbodies in line for Rehab at the pool.

After grubette and Doug left, I go back to Silverton. Technically, I thought, I was still up for the day. I could use the $300 I gleaned from Silverton and call Sunday a wash.

But, see, there was the little problem of staying at Silverton an extra day.

And despite them putting me in a room with a view of a brick wall (I peeked at their roster and found I'm a Comp Level 3, which must mean brick wall), I really like their pillowtop bed and Bath & Body Works soap and shampoo. There are only four floors of rooms, and I can park in back like a motel and sneak in the side entrance like Marilyn Monroe visiting Mr. President.

Each morning I began the day with a visit to the high-limit slot area. Not to play, but to pick up a bottled water, orange juice, chips, fruit, and granola bar. A tip if you're ever at Silverton -- walk in like you belong, snag some free snacks, and walk right out. No tipping necessary.

So I enjoy staying at Silverton, but in order to keep receiving the free offers, I need to play. And burning them with the minimum play and absconding with $300 and a $25 food comp just wasn't going to say come on back, we missed you.

When I checked in on Friday, my mailbox had a birthday offer from them for September: two free nights, $100 in slotplay, and a luggage set. I'm thinking I'll piggyback this offer along with The Plaza and The Palms for a whole week of free rooms.

Now Silverton does have poker, but casino hosts discount that. I'm turned off to blackjack.

That left slots.

Five hundred-dollar bills later, I go back to poker.

It's bad for me to have cash in my wallet, plunked down in a slot-filled casino.

The poker room was hopping with a rowdy 2/5 NL game.

Some hands:

I raise in early position with KK. Two callers.

Flop is 8-9-4 (two s).

Checked to me, I bet the pot. Someone calls, another raises 2.5x.

I go all-in.

First hand they've seen me play, I don't want to be seen as bullyable.

If they have 8-9, so be it, but I'd think they'd wait for the turn to make a move.

The raiser instantly calls.

Turn is 6. River is 9.

I show my cowboys expecting to lose to a 9, but he shows 10-10 and I win a big pot.

Even better, he rebuys.

Next hand I get AKo and call a min-raise. I let it go when the flop is 10-3-J and the guy who had 10-10 bets the pot.

A few hands later I raise with AQ and a few limpers. A King on the flop, and I take it down with an 85 percent pot-sized bet.

An orbit later I again have AQ and flop a straight. Another guy calls down with A4s to get a runner flush. We're heads-up and I bet 2x the pot on the turn and he still calls. At least he let me off easy by betting out 1/2 the pot on the river, which I would've called the pot.

Another hand I'm in MP with AA. A couple limpers and I raise 3x the blinds. Guy next to me reraises 2x. Someone cold calls the 3bet. I push.

The reraiser thinks for a bit and then calls.

We're heads-up and I only feel good when the flop gives an Ace. Then I feel better when the turn is another Ace. (He had QQ.)

I would like to be the type of NL player who can make this move without AA or KK, knowing people will pick up on a limp-reraise all-in and fold QQ and below. But I can't at these levels, because people will call anyway.

My final hand of the night that kicks me out the door (how's that for foreshadowing), I get QQ in the BB.

SB is the guy who lost against me with 10-10. It's folded to him and he raises to $50.

I reraise all-in. Probably too aggressive, but I didn't want to risk seeing an Ace or King on the flop. My hope was to grab that $50 uncontested. But if he were to call, I still had a decent hand.

He removes his sunglasses and stares at me for a long time. He says, "I'm not trying to steal. What do you have?"

I say, "I'll show if you call."

He thinks some more and then just when I think he's about to fold, he calls and says, "Gonna be a coin-flip."

The flop gives a King and the river gives an Ace. He flips over 22 and I'm about to show my QQ when I see the flop also has a 2.

He gets his money back and I go to bed.

And that's how I lost $1300 on Sunday.

§

My highly symbolic dream that night is of someone cutting off my dick. I tried reattaching it but couldn't seem to get it connected right. It would stick but not function, and I was afraid it would blacken and fall off.

And I had to go to the bathroom.

I left it on the kitchen counter when I should've put it in the freezer or in a bucket of ice.

Thankfully, I awoke without having wet the bed.

And with my dick still intact.

I think.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

The dish hit the wall with the spoon

MultiPoker is offering a series of big reload bonuses but with heavy clearing requirements.

All are 100 percent matches and require playing 20x raked hands to clear (twice as much as Empire and almost three times as much as Party):

SEP05RELOAD5 -- deposit $500, get $500 (10,000 raked hands)
SEP05RELOAD4 -- deposit $400, get $400 (8000 raked hands)
SEP05RELOAD3 -- deposit $300, get $300 (6000 raked hands)
SEP05RELOAD2 -- deposit $200, get $200 (4000 raked hands)
SEP05RELOAD1 -- deposit $100, get $100 (2000 raked hands)

You'd also easily qualify for the 200 raked hands needed to enter their Sunday $1000 freeroll at 2 p.m. EST.

All expire Sept. 10 and raked hands must clear 20 days after your deposit.

You can do any or all. If you did all of them at once, you'd deposit $1500, get $1500, and have a whopping 30,000 raked hands to clear within 20 days.

An extra $1500 sounds mighty good to me, but that's a hellalotta hands to play. I'll be away from the computer for Labor Day weekend and when I return I'll be working on the Empire bonus of 1000 raked hands to get me warmed up. And I'm still working off the PokerRoom bonus, which is worse now that they've increased their rake.

Depending how fried I am, I'll then jump into Multi's first reload and see how things go. If I find I'm getting mouse elbow, I can always deposit less and still receive 100 percent, which I'll probably do the higher I climb.

Too bad I no longer have rakeback.

§

The first of the month is always cringe-inducing because it's as if I lost a $1000 pot to the rental office. This month makes things 50 percent more painful because car insurance is also due, $500.

Hmmm... that's the exact amount of the Multi bonus.

Yesterday, swung by Sahara to pick up my free set of dishes. I'd missed the previous four pickup dates for four additional sets, so I now only have one set. They had each separated in a plastic shopping bag, no box. Uncouth bastids, this Sahara.

And while the dishes are actually pretty attractive, one set of matching dishes doesn't matter when it's just one set with nothing to match to. But I'll keep them to relieve stress. Upon a bad beat or bubble finish or road rage, I'll throw a dish at the wall, dumpster, or slot machine.

Back when temperatures were hitting 117 degrees, I'd looked for pavement in a casino parking lot to crack an egg onto to see if it would fry. I'd planned to do it at the top of the Harrah's uncovered parking garage, but there always seemed to be people around, not to mention cameras. Damn casinos, no privacy.

If I couldn't do the egg, I probably won't be able to toss a plate. But we'll see.

While swiping my card to see if I won the million dollars, I heard sounds of electronic cheering coming from the computer speaker. I didn't win the million, but I won a mystery prize.

Picked it up from Club Sahara and it looked like a videocassette, wrapped in green paper. It was a jumbo calculator, which I may also throw against the wall when I run out of dishes.

Next Wednesday's gift is a cookie jar.

Then went to Palace Station, ate a free buffet, and used my $25 freeplay at the tables.

Sat down at a $5 blackjack table with much trepidation. My freeplay coupons are dropping off, and here's hoping no more come in October.

But it was a good table, the dealer Grigor was a lot of fun, and despite losing the $25 freeplay, I ended up winning $125 before I had to head home to play the PokerRoom freeroll.

Grigor talked about a high-roller who comes in regularly where they set aside a reserved table. There's no high-limit table area at Palace, so it was on the main floor.

The reserved table had no maximum bet, but the tray was filled with yellow chips in preparation.

The guy came in Sunday, turned in a marker, and played $8000 hands. When all was said and done, he cashed out $115,000 ahead.

He tipped Grigor $8000.

When I colored up, I could only muster a 10-spot. What made Grigor a good dealer is that he seemed as appreciative of $10 as he must've $8000.

I asked if he wanted it or if he wanted me to play it for him. Ever the gambler, he said to play for him (unless it's $8000, dealers always like you to play for them to give them a shot at more), which I did.

Got an 8 against a dealer 10. Drew one to get 18. Unfortunately, he had 20.

§

I'm off for plenty of live poker, mainly no-limit. It being a Labor Day holiday, I'm anticipating many bad beats.

I'm staying at Silverton and the goal is to retain as much as possible of the $300 slotplay they're giving me. I don't plan to return, at least on a free-room basis, so there's no sense in providing the action I usually do.

Still, I love Silverton's rooms and the Bath & Body Works soap and shampoo...