I've finally figured out how the wireless works in my apartment. I wasn't being patient enough in having Windows connect to my network, which it will do after three or four tries. It takes five minutes or so, but once it's connected it stays connected.

So now I can type much more easily from the comfort of my bed while using the laptop for warmth. This is just one step further toward my goal of not getting out of bed at all.

If I had the wherewithal, I would attach my flat panel monitor to the bedroom wall. As it is, the wall is blank just waiting for a 40" plasma. I received a tax statement from the Station Casinos, and just the slot losses alone in 2005 would've paid for a couple plasmas. Thus, the blank wall remains as a reminder. In fact, I think I'll tape the tax statement to the blank wall.

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Most of my tournament playing has been at Sahara. This past week I made the second table (for about the fifth time) but have yet to crack the final table where the money is. One day...

Before the first break, my Aces were cracked by QJs, who raised preflop and I reraised all-in. Though not pot committed whatsoever, he said, "What the hell," and called, and I knew I was done for. He flopped a Jack, then turned a flush. I quickly glanced at my Aces and saw one was suited and I hoped for a four-flush on the river, but no such luck. I rebought and surprisingly lasted to the final two tables when I called a raise with 99 (I was shortstack and needed to double desperately). At least my read was correct, and the bald Russian guy who'd been aggressive all night had KJ (turned a Jack). As soon as he raised, I glanced at him to see if I could get a read and he said, "What you looking at?" I said, "I just like the way you look," and called. If I had more chips, I would've been able to call and move in on the undercard flop, then hope he didn't call.

Haven't spoken much of these Sahara tourneys lately (I play one a week) because it seems it's just one beat after another, usually with other people getting lucky.

Gold Coast is running a "Beat the Pros" tournament this weekend that looked interesting. Day 1 started with a low $60+10 buy-in with no rebuys last night, comparable to Sahara's $42 (and $20 rebuy). Plus they were adding $1000 to the pool.

I mentioned it to Carla while we were playing the Sahara tourney, and we decided to go for it.

I also told her this would be it for me and poker for awhile. Getting creamed at The Palms, it's beyond frustrating to play your best and continue getting outdrawn. Same with a tourney. I can play what I think is a game with no mistakes, yet I don't cash. What am I doing wrong?

So this long post focuses on the first Beat the Pros event at Gold Coast. It delves into specific hands and how I played them, but go here if you're just interested in the free doughnuts at Krispy Kreme (buy a dozen and get a dozen free KK valentines, each which contains a coupon for a free doughnut).

I didn't eat all day yesterday and the plan was to buffet (I eat 'em so often, I'm using "buffet" as a verb) at Palace Station while using my $20 blackjack freeplay, then The Palms to use a $10 free slotplay, then Gold Coast.

But first stop was Silverton to pick up a free umbrella (a questionable free gift considering we're in the desert) while running off my $20 free slotplay on Mr. Cashman (Arctic Wild) that hit absolutely nothing. A woman next to me hit four wilds twice for $44 and $146. That's what every Cashman player dreams of, seeing the animation of all the coins pouring out and hearing that whistling music (I wonder if some orchestra will record music from Mr. Cashman). Sometimes it's happened to me, and sometimes I'll just let the music go while the credit amount increases. Usually, though, I'll just hit a button to advance it to continue playing.

Stepped into the high-limit slot section to grab some free food. Mornings are better, because they have Odwalla smoothies there for the high-limit taking. I'm no high-limit player, but I walk in there as if I am and walk out with a bottled water, kettle chips, and an energy bar.

The Gold Coast tourney is at 6 p.m., and I'm trapped in 5 p.m. Vegas traffic. I veer off onto Trop west, but cars are also backed up all the way. I have to skip The Palms and I can stop by Palace after the tourney.

Finally get there, sign up to the tournament, and meet a sick-looking Carla who said she just came out of the seafood buffet for $20 and it was one of the worst buffets she's ever had. Even worse than Imperial Palace? When Carla first moved here, her company put her up in a suite at I.P. and gave her food comps for a month, so she was forced to eat the I.P. buffets. The pizza joint and Italian place were okay, she said, but she still has nightmares about the buffet.

This is the dirty secret about buffets at local casinos. They may advertise a cheap price such as the $12.95 for dinner at Gold Coast. That gets you in the door. But certain nights (usually Thursday through Saturday) are seafood nights or steak nights or some kind of champagne buffet. This enables them to charge extra while still advertising a seemingly low price. A bait and switch, even if you have no intention of eating the seafood or steak. Worse, dinner buffets tend to start at 4 p.m., to get the most they can from you.

So Carla got caught paying $20 for a bad buffet, most of which she left on her plate.

We chatted on the way over to Terrible Mike's, a burger joint inside the casino. I ordered a ham/turkey/bacon sub (called the Royal Flush, which I hoped was prophetic) and fries with Diet Pepsi that came to $9. I ate the fries, drank the Diet, and left most of the subpar sub. It looked plastic, the sort of meal that's displayed in glass boxes, only not as appetizing.

I ran by her a different no-limit strategy that I think we're both missing. She's a far more aggressive player than I am (in cash games; in tournaments we're about the same), and I think she could really use that image to her advantage. I play too tight and I should make more loose calls.

In both our cases, we should be targeting the tight players and going up against them, making moves when we suspect they have top pair. If they've shown they're capable of folding, we should be bluffing to get them to fold.

We arrived about 10 minutes later into the tourney:

$60+10 freezeout
Total prize pool $11,860 (including extra $1000 added)
181 players, 181,000 chips in play
5 pros freerolled into the tourney, with bounties on each

1st place -- $3400
2nd place -- $1820
3rd place -- $1080
4th place -- $880
5th place -- $780
6th place -- $680
7th place -- $580
8th place -- $480
9th place -- $380
10th place -- $280
11th-15th -- $180
16th-20th -- $120

Them paying top 20 was rather disappointing. I like Sahara's top-heavy structure, paying top 11 or 12 on fields of 130. Most of those tourneys have a 1st place prize of $3000 even without the added $1000, and the buy-in is $8 less.

The bounty on knocking out a pro was entry into Sunday's $15,000 freeroll. Another way to enter this was to play all three events. With the anticipated small field, I thought it may be worth buying into Friday and Saturday even though I can't play, just to get in for Sunday.

Pros were signified by black balloons tied to their chair. When I sat down, I only saw one balloon. They were still putting helium into the others.

Tables were scrunched together so tightly that when I sat at table 20 seat 1, Carla was directly behind me at table 21 seat five. She joked she could tell what we each had by our movements in our seat.

Dealers were awful. Many mistakes, slow, and not too friendly. Most were just out of five-week dealer school, and I believe this was their first time dealing in public. Throwing them into a tournament is like throwing a non-swimmer into the deep end of the pool.

The players kept having to tell the dealer what to do, which served to confuse them further because sometimes the dealers became belligerent.

A seat card went missing and wasn't found until the dealer dealt it to one of the players (it was stuck in one of the decks).

Another dealer burned a card before dealing to players.

A new dealer sat down, began shuffling, then was tapped on the shoulder and immediately got up to switch tables. He had just sat down.

Another dealer began to deal a fresh deck (cards were all in order) without scrambling and shuffling. If that deal went through, I could reasonably figure out what people held. Plus the flop would put out a straight flush draw.

I counted nine hands in before the blinds went up, meaning nine hands for every 20 minutes. Insanely slow. And not one player was taking time to act, it was all the dealers.

After the first 15-minute break, we returned expecting our $5 chips to be changed up. They were still out there when we sat down, and they took another 10 minutes to change.

Even if I could play Friday and Saturday, I would probably not because of the dealers.

The floor manager, Jack, is also the floor in the Gold Coast's poker room, and he ran it well considering what he had to work with.

Onto the hands...

• The first hand I played was 5 7. Blinds were T10/20 and I was BB. UTG+1 raised to T50, there was one caller, and I called. There are a range of hands I'll call a tiny 2.5x raise with, especially if it's only another 1.5x. (I play loose early in tournaments if I can get in cheap.)
  
  Flop was two undercard s and paired my 5. A possible runner straight was also looking good. In other words, a perfect flop for me.
  
  I checked and the raiser bet T200. I debated moving all-in to take it immediately, but I wanted to peel one more off and called, planning to do so on the turn no matter what card.
  
  Turn was a and I checked again. He bet T300, and I check-raised all-in. He instantly called and flipped Aces, one of which was a that he called for on the river.
  
  Luckily, the river was Q, though I had to squint to make sure it wasn't a .
  
  I doubled up and became chip leader at the table, not feeling an ounce of guilt because he only valued his Aces enough to raise them 2.5x the blinds.
  
  At the end of the table (I was seat 1), I overheard incredulity for my playing 57, and I knew my image was shot in terms of having raises respected.
  
  
• Raised with AK and dropped it on the rag flop after someone bet out big. I later asked what he had and he said QQ. He said he knew I would've bet if he checked, and he didn't want to give me a chance to get there... and he was right.
  
  
• Raised with AA and grabbed just the blinds. I showed this hand, hoping it would restore my image.
  
  
• Raised with KJo on a Button steal. It was folded to me, I raised T200 (blinds were T25/50) and SB called.
  
  He then checked dark, and I bet T200 on a flop of A-J-x.
  
  He didn't check dark this time but did check the x turn, and I checked back.
  
  The river gave another Jack, and he bet T300. I min-raised T300 and as soon as he groaned, I knew I was good.
  
  He said, "Do you have a Jack?" I nodded. He said, "Are you lying to me?" I nodded again. He called and had AKs. His misplay let me get lucky.
  
  I counted seven mistakes he made: 1) he smooth-called my raise preflop, 2) he checked the flop dark, 3) he only called my T200 flop bet, 4) he checked the turn, giving me a free card, 5) he bet T300 on the river, 6) he gave a strong audible tell after I min-raised, 7) he called my min-raise when he'd have T200 left if he called the raise.
  
  
• Had 2 4 in the SB. Blinds were T75/150, and BB had T200. I knew he'd move all-in, he had no choice. All folded except one who called (and who should have raised to get me out). I called for T75, and as expected, BB raised another T50. At this point, the other limper should have raised to isolate, though I don't think he could have even if he wanted to because the all-in raise was less than half.
  
  The limper called and I called to a flop of A-x-x and two s. The limper, who had played tight the entire time, bet T100. A pot bet or more, I would've been out. I called for T100. Turn was x, and he checked. I checked back and the river is A. He bet T200 and I raised to T600. Now he moved all-in and I called. He had A5o and again bet too small to keep my draw in.
  
  
• Limped UTG with AJo. Usually I raise, this time I limped. A couple callers, then the BB goes all-in for T400 more. BB had been making loose calls and liked to call down looking for gutshots. I reraised all-in to go heads-up. It worked and the others folded. He had A2o and I won the race.
  
  
• Raised with AKo and shortstack goes all-in for another T400. Folded to me and I call. He has KQ and hits his Q on the river. It didn't cripple me too much, and this was surprisingly the only beat I took throughout the entire tournament.
  

Moved to another table and went card dead. Table wasn't too aggressive, though we couldn't see any flops without a raise. Chip leader was way ahead of anyone else and dictated whether people called or not (as soon as he called, others joined). He didn't bully around nearly as much as he should have. Antes of T25 began here as well.

A woman went all-in (about 3x the blinds) and I called with KK. Normally I go all-in in this position, but putting her on an Ace, I did want another caller to sweeten the pot that I could then outplay. No one else called and we were heads-up. She indeed flipped an Ace with 5 kicker. Shortstacked as she was, I would've made the same move.

Like pulling a Band-Aid off quickly, the flop gets it over with fast: A-3-4. Someone in the blinds who also considered calling, began kicking himself because he had 25s and would've flopped a straight. Turn is a 3. I check my stack and it didn't hurt too much to lose, but the T50 antes from everyone would've come in handy. River is my miracle King, and I now think I'm on a roll.

Later, two steals are successful (55 and KQ); one steal is not when I'm raised over the top with 44, and I let it go preflop.

I play extremely tight otherwise, as other people are too, not wanting to be bubble boy or girl.

I'm in the BB with AA and silently groan as everyone folds... including SB. I throw over the Aces and people laugh.

One pro was out in the first 10 minutes (flopped two pair against someone's flopped straight... on a scary board like that, I would like to think I could laydown two pair and save the fighting for another hand), the other three were out by the fourth table.

We're at four tables now and guy to my right is UTG. He moves all-in and I look down at 10-10.

I count down his chips. It would've been a third of my stack. I pegged him as a tight player, it being the first hand I saw him raise with. A couple times earlier he let me have the pot and antes when it was folded to him in the SB and me in the BB. So I didn't think him as a player to raise unless he had something big. Even if he had AK or AQ, I didn't want to race. I also didn't know what others after me would do. I figure a fold is best, and I do.

The same guy later makes two more all-in moves with me holding QJs and 10-9s, both of which I easily let go. I begin to wonder if he's switching up his game.

Here's a hand that I completely lucked out on. All fold to me in the cutoff and I steal raise 3x with K6o. I prefer stealing in this position or earlier rather than the Button itself, because blinds are more likely to call or raise all-in because they suspect I'm stealing. I also like to steal from MP, but I didn't do any of that in this tourney.

BB raises all-in for another half my raise, and I'm forced to call. I didn't mind calling, but I minded showing, knowing it would again hurt my image to show a steal.

He has 10-10 and the flop is Q-Q-J. I'm hoping for a King, he's hoping for anything but a King. Turn is x. River is a Jack. He thinks he wins and I do a double-take -- I counterfeited his pair with the board's higher two pair, and my King high plays.

This was what I'd consider my second lucky hand (the rivered set of Kings being the first): a steal that was caught red-handed, and me runnering three outs outside of my three King outs.

I always thought of any tournament, you have to get lucky at least twice. These were my two lucky hands and my luck had run out.

We were now at the final two tables and all in the money. I'm still average chip stack, but chip leader is to my unfortunate left.

It's our fourth break at 11 p.m. and I call Carla and she just left the 2/5 game at Rio.

Last time Carla and I played NL was at Sahara a few days ago, and we both walked away up. We seem to have fallen into a groove where we can now both win (versus prior times when one would win and one would lose).

In the 90 minutes that Carla played at Rio, she cashed out up $800. I tell her that I plan on really pushing my shortstack around, because I think it's what I do best when in the money. Besides, 16th-20th paid $120, and the next level above was only $60 more.

Plus I'm playing for first.

She says, "You go, boy." I say, "I wish I were in that Rio game."

Back at the final two tables, I didn't get a chance to push as promised because other people did behind me. One time I push with KQs and grab the blinds and significant antes (T500 each).

Another hand, a blind goes all-in (amounting to a min-raise), and UTG goes over the top.

I have AQs and make the difficult decision to fold. If it were me first in, it's an easy all-in, but faced with calling off 2/3 my stack when we were one away from the $180 level, I folded.

I'm still not sure whether it was a mistake. It probably was. Certainly the outcome showed it was a mistake -- the blind hand was Kx, the raiser was AJ... and the board gave two pairs, with Ace high taking it.

I did feel good at the fold, though. I didn't think it was worth the risk, and I would've chopped it anyway (though chopping just the blinds and antes was huge). I don't like being in the position of just calling with hands like AK and AQ. If I had more chips, it'd be a no-brainer.

A few hands later I overhear the BB saying he has no choice but to go all-in on this hand. All-in for him would be 3x the blinds. He said he would go all-in no matter what.

It's folded to me with AJ and I move all-in. True to his word, BB calls with 67. A Jack flops and I'm good.

We're then hand-for-hand to get to 10th.

And we make it to the final table with nine people.

I have slightly above average chips (T14,000) at the final table with four people below me. Going into this round, antes are T1000 with blinds T2000/4000.

A complete crapshoot at this point. Chip leader has about T25,000, but even for him it's going to take luck.

A chop is proposed -- a nine-way split would be $1120 each. The one pro left at the table is named Scott, but I don't recognize him.

We go around the table and agree, but the chip leader wants to play. We've now been playing 6.5 hours and we probably have at least an hour to go. He says, "Let's play!"

I'm somewhat excited about not chopping, because here's where I become aggressive. The pro explains to the chip leader how it's beneficial to chop because there's no guarantee he'll last through eight more people. Chip leader says, "Hell, I already beat a hundred people, what's eight more?"

Cards are dealt for the Button while we're discussing a chop. The Button goes right after me, which would put two people all-in right away. But with T9000 antes from everyone, anyone could bounce back. And anyone with a lot of chips could easily drop down to not a lotta chips.

Another proposal is made -- take $200 off the two lowest chipstacks and give it to the chip leader, along with the trophy and first-place finish. Everyone else would get $1120.

He reluctantly agrees, and we chop.

He says, "Why do I feel like I'm getting screwed in this deal?"

Still the matter of the pro's bounty, and chip leader wants it, and I agree he should take it. But the floor says no, that the rules state the pro has to be knocked out to receive it, so we high-card for it.

Two Aces are dealt, with Ace of winning entry into Sunday's $15,000 freeroll. That wasn't me, who had a 7.

Chip leader later says that he was just happy that he let eight other people make a lot of money. This was the second tournament he's ever played, the first being at Tuscany. In the back of my head, I wished he didn't accept the chop so he could see exactly how hard it would be to maintain that chip lead status.

Paperwork takes another half hour, and we breathe easy. All of us received prize money equivalent to 3rd place's $1080, and I would've chopped even if I were in the chip leader's shoes. It just isn't worth it with most players under average stack.

The tournament software they used had a scrolling line at the bottom saying what the amount would be if the remaining players had chopped. At one point it said $590, which I would've been more than satisfied with.

I tipped $25 to Jack himself and $25 to the dealers, but they combined the two and said it all goes to one pool.

Driving home past midnight, I had a slight regret at not being able to use my $20 blackjack freeplay at Palace, which expired Thursday. $20 is $20, and I was due to win it this time.

I celebrated by going to Village Pub to get a $5.95 steak dinner, but when I got there, the doors were locked. The sign that said "24 Hours" was still brightly lit. I guess 2:30 a.m. isn't in the 24-hour range. I instead went to Roberto's Taco Shop and chowed down a $3 chicken burrito.

This win postpones my poker postponement, at least until rent's due in February. I'm still operating off my first credit card and still need to be careful. I have a second credit card that I haven't (yet) received checks for, but I'm able to withdraw $500 as a cash advance.

Tonight I'm seeing a play and tomorrow I'm either seeing Herman's Hermits or the Miss America Pageant (hoping to go backstage), so I'll miss the next Beat the Pros tourney events. (Earlier tomorrow I'm visiting -- and maybe participating in -- the Big Daddy Burger Eating Contest at The Plaza, which I posted about at LasVegasVegas.com.)

But after the play I'll check out Caesars, and tomorrow I'll play Aladdin even if I don't go to Miss America. Maybe some contestants will stop by the poker room. Maybe some contestants will hang out at the bar and offer their services.