EepyBird's Bellagio Fountains re-creation using Diet Coke and Mentos is worth a look. Turn up your sound to hear it coordinated to music.

While checking out links, the hilarious bunnies are back, this time with a 30-second parody of Superman.

Came in 439th in PokerStars' blogger tourney of 2200-some. I was below average and re-raised all-in with 88. Guy UTG who had min-raised called with JJ. People were playing so tight, I should've realized he had something big. Oh well. Thanks to Stars for putting on the second annual freeroll.

I didn't recognize anyone in the top 10 except for StudioGlyphic, who won a $1500 seat to the WSOP event of his choice. Congrats, Glyph! Make us poker bloggers proud.

Played two other freerolls last weekend, beginning with the Station Casinos' $300,000 crapshoot. I say that, because everyone begins with T500 chips and rounds switch between limit Hold'em, limit Omaha, limit Hold'em, no-limit Hold'em, and no-limit Omaha. I don't know what comes after, because it was in the NL Omaha round that I went out, with KKQ7 (KQ suited). The flop was rags but with two of my suit, and I pushed but was called with someone who had AAxx, also with two of that suit, and the river flushed. Going into that round, no one at the table was more than 7x the blinds and three people were so shortstacked that they were going in no matter what, so it was constantly difficult getting anyone to fold.

Nothing has changed from last year's $250,000 freeroll. Any angle-shooters will easily pick up how simple it is to chip dump in this tournament. And in this tournament, where the chip leaders after the first day split $6000, it's significant.

You're assigned a table and seat, but if you arrive late, your seat may be taken by someone else.

So they tell you to just find another seat.

That means a team could arrive late and all sit together at a table containing a few empty seats.

No one is carded or asked for I.D. until after the tournament (where all players busting out receive $50, a hat, and a t-shirt). The team could dump chips to the one player who legitimately earned a seat into the freeroll by playing 50 hours.

In addition, chips are not accounted for. When coloring from red to green or green to black, they're all just thrown in a cardboard box carried around by the floorperson. Very easy again for the team to palm a few black chips and either hand off to their player, or just keep and sneak into the next freeroll tourney.

No cameras (that I could see), either -- the freeroll takes place in one big ballroom at Texas Station. And it's such a madhouse with at least 72 tables running, that no one is paying much attention.

I doubt anything will be done in time for the next tourney, which will be $500,000. The fast blind structure and low starting chips says that Station is only concerned with getting the tourney over with as fast as possible.

After the tourney, I raced home to play in the Iron Man FullTilt freeroll, where I busted in the first hour with KK vs. 99. We had our chips in preflop, and the flop gave a 9. I probably would've gone in on that rag flop anyway, so I was out either way. Just darn luck.

Two more freerolls coming up -- a FullTilt WSOP this Saturday, and a $10,000 freeroll next Tuesday at Caesars Palace.

§
Had to pick up something at an advertising agency on Warm Springs Rd., which has very cool front doors that look like doors entering either a gourmet kitchen or a submarine.

I get to see the insides of many PR firms, media places, and casino offices. This one was the best, and I would've asked for a tour of their studio if not for being on a schedule.

The worst is probably the WB television station, because when you approach the front door there's a loud click that the receptionist hits to unlock the door. It sounds like someone cocking a gun and I always jump, when you'd think I'd be used to it by now (the door, not the sound of a gun). But I'm torn, because the receptionist is gorgeous.

Across the street is the building to Aristrocrat, creators of the Mr. Cashman and Li'l Lucy slot machine series.

I considered dropping in just to check out their lobby and be this close to Cashman greatness, but all the real work is probably done at their Australia headquarters, a trip I could have afforded a few times over with all the pennies I've "invested" in their slot machines.

I don't know who started the penny slots, but what a great marketing gimmick. Lure players in with the promise of playing for a penny a pull. Little do they know they can play a maximum of 500 pennies per pull, and that they need to in order to hit anything of decent payout.

At the Station Casinos, when their Jumbo Jackpot pushes past $143,000, it might be +EV to play a penny a pull. Not only do you stand a good shot at getting the $50 of freeplay that everyone receives when the jumbo hits (which it has to by $150,000), but you can also still get free drinks.

On Saturday, I played what will definitely be my last hand of live poker for awhile. After a balls-wrenching beat of reraising all-in preflop with QQ, getting called with 77, and one of his lucky 7s making a one-card straight, I took comfort in doing a slot run around Sunset Station.

The trip was to pick up the free gift of sliding robots (coasters which make furniture easier to move) and take in the dinner buffet, which has been discounted to $10.99 from the normal $14.99. At only $2 more than the buffet lunch, it's a bargain.

As part of the CineVegas film festival, I caught a documentary on Vegas buffets that explained where all the leftover food goes at the end of the day -- and that would be local pig farms. All the wet food is carted off in huge waste management trucks and shoveled onto conveyor belts, which is then slopped into troughs for the enjoyment of the pigs.

Which also means that with the tossed pork products, the pigs are cannibals (hogibals?). Pork, bacon, ham... how can one animal be responsible for one delicious food after another? Now we know.

Oddly enough, this didn't turn me off buffets like it did the majority of the audience. I did, however, avoid the linguini and went with the bowtie pasta. Seeing spaghetti strands dripping out of the pigs' mouths was a bit much.

My slot tour began with the Zorro (also Aristrocrat) bank near the buffet. The top progressive is capped at $50,000, but the one beneath that was at a high of $1200. I don't know what this resets to, but I've seen it below $300, so it seemed worth trying for.

Next stop was the bank of Monopoly machines, where the Mrs. Monopoly progressive was at $750. This one resets to $500. Woman to my left was playing $2.00 a pull, woman to my right was playing $.50. I stuck with $.50 and $.75. I prefer All in the Cards to the Own It All game, because in the latter you can hit Go to Jail (vs. Get Out of Jail Free) and end the bonus. All in the Cards doesn't end prematurely.

The woman to my right hit the three dogs and when she went into her picks, she was started with a 500 card. Pretty big card at 10x her initial bet. She then hit a 5x card, which the dog placed on 500, for $25.

Then it was my turn, and the same thing happened on a 50 cent pull. I ended the free spins with 13 free picks and entered with 500 (I'm guessing the starter card is anywhere from 1x to 10x your bet... in all the times I've played this, this was the first time I've gotten 10x). Then hitting the 5x, the dog (good dog!) put the Frisbee on the 500. When all was said and done, that bonus netted me $55.80.

Played Cafe Mula again and finally hit the bonus round, which lets you pick and match drinks. With each drink, you get to choose a topping that gives you numbers, and then choose a stirrer, which mixes up those numbers. Your final bonus for that drink might then be 610, 106, or 061. Didn't get the Frenzy Bonus, though not for lack of trying.

Onto Gold Fish, which I believe I've gone through all the possible bonuses and it's time to move on. Its random bonuses come up often enough to keep playing, but the bonuses don't award that much. The Fish Food bonus is fun, but when you hit three turtles on your first three picks (which ends the fish food selection), you get zero. I'd like to see a bonus round award a consolation prize; it takes more skill to hit three losers than three winners!

Back to Zorro, the progressive of which was still climbing and due to hit. I like the barrel bonus (I select 15 free spins at 2x, 3x, or 4x), but so many times the spins have ended with me getting absolutely nothing. Zorro is really only good for its Zorro bonus.

Moved to Lucky Lemmings, where I finally hit the bonus round. Ultra-cute, this game is utterly charming with the bonus reminding me of the penguin-throwing Java applet with the Yeti. I played it enough to hit the bonus a few times, and I think it's the first game I've seen where the wild card substitutes for the bonus. Once in the bonus, you choose an egg that hatches a number of lemmings. Each time I went into the bonus, I selected either the middle or top number of lemmings, which makes me think that maybe the bottom number isn't actually one of the options (but it makes you think you could've selected something smaller). This takes you to the bonus screen, where each lemming takes turns leaping off the ledge, bouncing off a walrus's belly, and shooting into a cave where points are awarded.

Sometimes the lemming bounces more than once off the walrus, which multiplies the points awarded per each bounce (I made it to 3x once).

And sometimes the lemming misses the walrus and falls into the water or bounces off the wall and is swallowed by a whale, which takes you into the whale bonus where you select other objects the whale's swallowed until you hit Collect.

A lemming stampede will bring about multiple lemmings bouncing around and into caves.

Lemmings can also bounce into two chests -- one dons the lemming in a jetpack and flies him into space for the jetpack bonus (pick one of three satellites to get points) and another presumably goes into a scuba bonus, which I never reached.

The lemmings can bounce off walls or just miss the ledge and fall into the cave below or beside the current one. Or they can crawl into their original cave.

It's all very fun, and the entire bonus incorporates all the characters from the regular spins.

From Lemmings, I went to Hot Hot Penny, which was Cold Cold Cold. Passed by Zorro and saw that the penultimate progressive had been hit. Mrs. Monopoly still hadn't, though.

Played Millioniser's Sun & Moon, the Geisha one, African Dusk, and the horseracing one with the girl. Woman to my left sits down, plays $2, and hits the free spins immediately. Then gets free spins within her free spins, and ends her bonus at $250. I lose about $150 and when I leave she's at $200.

Mr. Cashman's Betting Zoo results in nothing, and I briefly sit at Jewel of the Enchantress when an older woman sits next to me and begins rubbing her hands all over the machine in some sort of good luck ritual. This disturbed me enough to move to another Enchantress machine. Good move, because I hit for $150 on a $1.25 pull.

Walking toward the garage, I can't resist a final bank of Mr. Cashman in front of Panda Express. It's Arctic Wins, which I think is mostly break even out of all the Cashman games.

I'm about to cash out, when a pretty girl in her early 20s sits to my left at African Dusk. She isn't a hooker, because Sunset Station is local and the hookers are on the Strip. Unless she's a hooker gettting ready to head to the Strip.

The air conditioning blows her perfume my way, and I rethink leaving.

She's on a lucky streak, beginning with $20 and getting enough rhinos that now she's up to $50, all unwavering from 50-cent pulls. Me, I switch between $.50 and $1.25 with the occasional $2.50.

She also hits Mr. Cashman far more than she should (it normally pops up every 30-40 cycles). I counted mine and I went 100 spins before Cashman woke up.

Then another attractive girl sits to my right at the Jail Bird machine.

Well, I'm not going anywhere now.

And I'm thinking, casinos should hire attractive women to gamble and make men stay longer than they should, or bet more than they normally would in some kind of psychological wager size prowess. Who knows, maybe they already do.

The Jail Bird girl lasts 10 minutes before busting.

The African Dusk girl is still going. She doesn't seem concerned at the time, nor does she check her cell phone, so she isn't waiting for anyone. A pretty girl playing slots not to pass the time but for the sake of the game? And on a Saturday night? Unheard of.

I steal glances at her. She's playing without a player's card, so she can't be that hardcore. There's no wedding ring, either. I notice she doesn't look at my machine when I hit the bonus, so the curiosity is not mutual.

She lights up a Marlboro Light whenever going into a long bonus (40 free spins) or when hitting something big. Like smoking after sex, I'm thinking, lost in my own fantasy. She goes through three cigarettes in 15 minutes, but the smoke doesn't bother me. She blows the smoke courteously to her left.

Her voice is pleasant and melodic when ordering a coffee and Bailey's. Not hardened and annoyed like some, but then, would she sound the same if she were losing?

Would I want to date a gambler? My double-standard is a steadfast no.

Ninety minutes later, she's still hovering at $50 (+$30), and I've gone through $140 (-$140).

I consider speaking to her, but now I feel like a loser, going through all my credits. Ninety minutes is a long time to milk $140, the price of spending time with the mystery woman. And that's without sex, without drinks, without dinner and a movie.

I consider inserting another $100 to try again.

But I know my luck. I break and leave first, never once saying a word to my slotmate.

When I walk away, I don't turn back.