For you online blackjack players (and I know you're out there), I've updated and added some online casinos that give the best bonus bang for your deposit buck. I've run through all of them and cashed out at all of them, so they have the grubby seal of approval.

To be fair and balanced, here are some fresh poker reload bonuses, the first two known for being extremely tight, and the last being the complete polar opposite. None require bonus codes, just make a deposit and you're good to go.

• till June 7 at 11:59 p.m. ET: PokerStars wants you to have a 25 percent bonus (up to $150) and turn you into the third WSOP champ in a row to win from a Stars satellite. (Congrats, Fossilman!)
  
  
• till July 1 at 6 p.m. ET: UltimateBet has a 20 percent bonus up to $100.
  
  
• June 19 between 8-10 p.m. ET: Pacific Poker offers a 20 percent bonus up to $100. Mark it on your calendar, then go off to your Saturday night. An absurd 20x the bonus amount has to be wagered on raked hands before you can cash out the bonus.
  
  Here's how to counteract this. Because Pacific has a casino mentality (along with the players, who are mostly from Casino-on-Net and are there to gamble), they give you the bonus upfront. Think of this as funny money. So deposit $500, get the $100 bonus, wait a couple days, withdraw your $500 deposit, wait a couple more days for it to hit NETeller (or similar), then launch Pacific and play with just the $100 bonus. Try a higher limit. Blow it all on a tournament. Anything so you don't have to sit and playthrough one table of paint drying 20x. If you lose it all before the waging requirement, c'est la vie. But if you hit some good hands or place high in a tourney, then worry about working off the bonus so you can cash it out.
  
  While there, though, do check out their $10K guaranteed nightly tournaments. A paltry $15+1.50 buy-in (you could play this six times with the free bonus) and a nice-sized overlay because not only does Pacific lose money each time, but the players are worse than Party.

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For my Vegas trip in December, I wrote about the first part but not the second (I got sick and never let go of the slot machines, because they didn't care if you coughed on them).

For my Vegas trip in March, I wrote about the second part but not the first (my annual trip with the guys, which doubled as a bachelor party and a rousing trip to Olympic Gardens, a private press tour of the new Borg 4D ride at The Hilton with food and drinks for my group on Paramount's tab, and me being the first to get a girl's phone number before getting off the plane).

Knowing I'll procrastinate for this most recent trip, I thought I'd jump right into the middle part.

On Sunday, after landing and picking up the car (a compact -- Hyundai Accent) by 11 a.m., I phone grubette, and barrel down Tropicana while blasting the wonderful 102.7FM that I always tune to for the Best of the '80s. Something about those songs -- they're the only ones I can sing along to and the only ones that evoke some forgotten memory.

I make it to The Orleans in no time flat, about 10th in line to register for the NL tourney. It filled fast at 142 players ($50 + $3 dealer chip + one $20 rebuy which acted the same as an add-on), large for a Sunday noon tourney I was told (normal turnout is 90). grubette and her friend are the first two of 20 alternates, get in at 15 minutes (meaning two people busted even their rebuy if they did one), and last past the first break on good but untimely cards (all-in AK vs. AA).

I was in okay shape, just average stack throughout. I picked up uncontested pocket Queens twice. I showed them the first time to set up a later bluff steal, but the table was tight enough that most folded preflop or check-folded post-flop to raises anyway.

I didn't need to rebuy until the break, and I didn't make any all-in calls. This was in severe contrast to the last live tournament I played at Hawaiian Gardens, where during the unlimited rebuy period people were pushing with any Ace hoping to double up, knowing they had the rebuy protection. By not being involved in most hands, I watched other players and tried to note how they played.

The guy to my left was a calling station. He called most hands and caught just enough to keep him swimming. At first I thought he was loose before rebuying, but he played the same after the rebuy.

This was a hand I thought about for a long while:

Preflop, the calling station raises for the rest of his chips and the guy to his left raises enough over the top that it's an obvious isolation raise. It's folded to a guy in sunglasses who pauses. He checks chipstacks, thinks for a long time, removes his shades, does the Hollywood bit, then finally tosses. He says to his seatmate that he had JJ. I was incredulous at this laydown. If it were me, I would've called to see the flop or raised to see if I were reraised. I may even have raised all-in.

Up to that point, people were playing pretty basic. If they bet, they had something. Much checking going around, and a bet in last position would take it. No check-raises.

The calling station was knocked out, because the raiser had KK. Sunglasses breathed a sigh of relief.

I filed this away. The play here was different than what I'm used to, and I'd have to make some adjustments.

One dealer was complaining she wasn't making any money while the tournament was running and she was stuck dealing the tourney. I made a mental note that if I won the tourney, I would make an effort to ostentatiously tip each of the dealers except for her. She was complaining, was easily distracted, and didn't concentrate on the game. A friend of hers sat down in the 10s and they gabbed away for a couple hands. Not good form.

Each time a table broke, they converted into a ring game. People on the waiting list would be called to start a new ring game. One person with the initials K.Y. kept being paged. I say to no one in particular, "That must be a tight table." It got nary a smile, as the rocks mostly ignored my little joke. I went back to being quiet.

After the break, I was moved tables four times before landing on one where I would stay for a couple hours. Another guy moved to my table with two racks of chips. Two orbits and he hadn't played a hand.

Then this hand:

Blinds are T150/T300. I have KK and raise to T1000. It's folded to this guy, who I see has a craps die in front of him showing the number 3. He makes a gesture with his hand and says, "I'm all-in."

We were about equal stacks, he had me covered, and I was put to a decision. I didn't think AA because he would've milked me for more chips. But possible...

He was sacrificing everything. He'd double up immediately. Certainly within the realm.

Knowing my luck, if he had a big Ace, he would've hit an Ace.

This would've been an immediate call if I were on Party. Tremendous pot odds and it would put me in a good chip position. Then I thought of Sunglasses who mucked Jacks, thought of how tight the table was, and how casual Craps Die 3 is being. No eye contact, no nervousness.

I flash my cards to my side of the table and lay it down. Both players who saw my KK gasped and say they would've definitely called.

Craps Die 3 doesn't show, and I'm left in the dark wondering.

To win any tournament, no matter what your skill level, I believe you need to get lucky at least four times. Three times will get you to the final table. That fourth could propel you to win. But you can't get to the final table without sucking out at least once. I also believe that to win any tournament you also get unlucky a certain number of times. The trick is to balance the bad luck with the good.

Lucky hand #1: Seven tables left. One player calls, the rest fold to me on the button with ATo. I haven't raised a hand since the Kings, and I do so here for T1000 hoping to snatch the blinds and maybe get the caller to fold. Doesn't work. SB goes all-in, BB folds, and the caller calls. I think about folding. The prospect of winning the dry pot and others seeing the kicker I raised didn't exactly thrill me, but it's only another T300 to go.

The flop gives Axx (rainbow). The caller checks, I bet out, he folds. This was the typical move in stealing blinds in position -- just call the button or SB, then bet if checked to or bet out and the blinds will fold. Now the caller folds and I get the dry pot of T0. The raiser had KK and lucky me, no K. "Bounty on 7!"

Lucky hand #2: Four tables left. Q 5 in the BB. One call in early position, all fold to me, and I rap my knuckles. The flop gives me three s and no overcards. I check, the caller bets T1000, and I immediately raise to T2000. He calls. I have him covered and my plan is to go all-in on the turn if no . I get my wish and push. Can't risk another .

The caller thinks for awhile. His pause makes me think he has an A or K. Criminey, I don't need another , because my heart is pounding. I think I'm shooting off tells like arrows at William Burroughs's wife. Fold fold fold, damn you!

Then he looks at me with a blank expression. He calls.

Burn card, then river is slapped down. I look away and slowly glance down. No . I proudly flip over my BB flush. He goes slackjawed and slams down his pocket Kings (one ) then storms away angry. I get my second and final $5 bounty as people chastise him for slowplaying the Cowboys. I shake my head while stacking my chips. I would certainly have folded on any raise. And if I slowplayed KK, I would be willing to let them go.

These two lucky hands plus some well-timed steals were enough to get me close to the second table, albeit severely shortstacked and cold-decked.

I finally make it to table 1, where the final table would be. But there was another table still. I'm smallest chipstack and the blinds are a-comin'. Not to mention the annoying ante that takes further bites.

Please, not the bubble again. 12th would be better than 11th, so I was looking for any opportunity to go all-in.

Suddenly, people are standing at the other table. An all-in and 12th is out!

Now I'm 11th and just know I'm about to bubble out. Once again. My destiny. We're down to 11 in a position I'm well familiar with. If I bubble out one more time, well, I'll never visit Vegas again. Least of all The Orleans.

I had enough to cover one more set of blinds. But because of the antes, I would not last the round. It was do or die. Here comes the blind...

And fortunately, it's announced that if no one has any objection, they would combine the tables, shave off parts of first and second place, and award 11th place $200 and go 11-handed.

Everyone agrees.

Knowing I was in the money, I could play looser. As if I had any chance, with my dwindling chipstack.

We redraw seats and I move to the 10s.

In the 11s, I recognize the guy as Craps Die 3. His die was still on 3. I had to find out. I say, "Dude, I laid down pocket Kings to you."

"I know," he says. "I had Aces. I shouldn't have gone all-in, because I could've gotten you for more."

He was entirely correct. I never thought I could laydown Cowboys preflop. And the thing is, I probably wouldn't again.

Now I'm happy to have made the money and have made a good read to get there.

Lucky hand #3: I folded both blinds, and the ante is eating away. The BB is still five away, but I'll be forced in with the ante in another three hands. I look down at the stellar hand of 68o. The antes of T200 made the pot large, so I closed my eyes and tossed in my remaining chips.

Two people after me call. Not very good.

The flop gives A8x. One guy bets, the other guy raises. Not very good at all.

The bettor folds, and it's just me.

He flips his cards and I see A-10. Not even a great kicker. I table my 68o, stand up, and pump the air proclaiming: "Eights!"

The raiser looks at me and shakes his head out of pity that I could have gone all-in with that hand.

The turn gets me a 6, no A or 10 on the river, and I sit back down, quickly stacking all the chips from the antes.

By now there was quite a rail developing. It wasn't like it was a huge prize -- first place was about $2900 -- but I heard the buzz and chatter about how I could've possibly gone all-in with 68o. I smiled, slightly embarrassed, and secretly hoped I'd run into them later when they would go all-in with a similar hand in different circumstances.

Lucky Hand #4: I'm low again, it's down to 10 people, and my plan is to go all-in with any Ace, any King, any suited cards, and any pair. Proper tournament strategy isn't being applied, as shortstacks are going all-in and not even the blinds are calling down. The significant size of the antes makes it worthwhile to call.

I get 66 and push for T2000. Folded to the BB who has me covered a hundredfold. He takes a drag from his cigarette and says in a Teddy KGB accent, "I'm calling. I haven't even looked."

I nod my head, knowing this is the correct thing to do.

The board gives a scary J8 and three other cards I can't bear to see. Again, knowing my luck I'm ready to leave.

Miraculously, Teddy had 93o and no 9. I was good for another round.

Survival. That's what it's all about.

Lucky Hand #5: Down to 8. I'm forced all-in on another hand -- 58o. And get my miracle cards, making a straight.

I last a few more hands, but damn these antes. I have to go all-in on A5o. Another two hands and I'd be forced in on probable lesser cards.

Button raises, BB goes all-in. Had I known that I could've possibly snuck into 7th, I would've folded.

Button calls. Shows 10-10. BB has AQo. The board is 7733x and I'm out. People on the rail and at the table were rooting for me the underdog, and a couple hands were extended, which I gladly shook. One guy pats me on the back.

I wish them good luck and walk away, head held high. I felt like a downright celebrity.

It's not the WSOP, but I was quite happy with my $490 and $10 in bounties. And exhausted after six hours.

I don't believe I had any bad luck in this tournament. Perhaps I needed some to work against the alarmingly good amount of luck I had. But if I can make it to the final table every time playing similarly, I wouldn't mind never seeing bad luck again.

I'd planned to play the 7 p.m. limit tourney, but had a headache from no food or drink. I high-tailed it to Luxor to meet up with grubette to share the good news.



lunch:
apples & cinnamon oatmeal
egg drop soup
chicken with mixed vegetables (no cabbage)
steamed rice
fortune cookie: A liar is not believed even if he is telling the truth. Some fortune.

4 Diet Cokes

dinner:
longlasting Chinese
Spree
Cheetos
Nestle's Crunch